Click on the image to view the article “The Love You Deserve” by The Good Men Project
I had a woman express openly at the recent Womyn’s Summit I attended that her partner, “just doesn’t get her; that he’s just so opposite.”
Our chosen lovers can feel like dissonant others over time if we don’t develop a deep, loving and abiding relationship with our own nether being. Our gut will haunt us openly with our own harboured fears of abandonment if we’re in fact abandoning ourselves.
We will think that it is the fault of the other, however, he’s only operating out of resonance. Most folks don’t know that their outer ambient is a direct reflection of their inner milieux.
If we’re broadcasting a radio station of personal disregard, the only individuals that can pick that up and tune into us in that way are those with the same radio frequency on their dial.
To resolve the underlying cause means taking responsibility ourselves for what is being mirrored back to us. Once that schism is addressed then we can actually change our relationship with ourselves to a deep inner regard, then based on the laws of resonance we will see that behaviour mirrored directly back to us.
This is not a superficial changing of one’s mind, though, a bunch of affirmations on our bedroom mirror or some intellectual gymnastics. This is the deep work of those facing beliefs coming from timeline traumas, Miasmic (inherited diseases), Chthonic (fear and ignorance) and Ideogenic (Spiritual beliefs) sources.
Out the other side, though, you will own the pure grace you seek. After that work is done, you’ll feel such fulfilment, you’ll barely noticed what others are up to, except that they keep bestowing gifts of love and regard on you! I know as I was once living the belief that “he just doesn’t get me.”
It was a cop out, an excuse, for not facing what I knew was mine. Now, I have the love I deserve mirrored back to me and I’m able to wholly receive it and mirror it back to my beloved. All the dissonance simply melted away with the utter reverence I’m now able to hold for my self.
About 15 years ago, after patients had cleared Syphillis, other mysterious symptoms started being consistently illuminated. Backache, lymph-node swelling, kidney affectations and flu-like symptoms were coming up in small group of patients. It was Dr. Sankaran, I believe, who’d written that after Syph. is addressed, look for symptoms of Lyme. The Genetic Miasms are not directly stemming from direct sexual transmission or even a bite from a tick anymore, however, as a function of human evolution, the disease is showing up in our inner milieux as just one more hoop to be jumped before we can know our human freedom.
Imagine, my surprise then, when I recently noticed that my back wasn’t just aching due to my nordic walking routine. I was inordinately tired, which is not something that I typically experience. I had a lot of heat in my kidneys and I just felt a general malaise and irritability. Over the last 10 days, I’ve constantly felt like I did when I was a kid, with a kidney infection coming on. My hands were also slightly vibrating, like my central nervous system was on overload. Yesterday, I went pale as a sheet and had to go lie down while in a clinic meeting. When I got back up, Jeff and I looked at each other and at the same time spoke the word, “Lyme.”
It’s a physical and mental shape shifter as Jeff wrote about here. He actually experienced it’s surprising effects 3 years ago and wrote about his mental sufferings with this disease matrix himself here. We’ve even cured dogs of it where it was clearly showing up after a tick bite in their kidneys. We treat it the same as we do any other Miasmic Disease, on the sound basis of law, like cures like as illustrated here.
Here’s a further romp into this disease matrix as per an article I found in the New York Times:
Stage 1 . In the majority of cases, the first sign of early Lyme disease is the appearance of a bull’s-eye skin rash. It usually develops about 1 – 2 weeks after the bite, although it may appear as soon as 3 days, and as late as 1 month. In some cases, it is never detected. Flu-like symptoms (joint aches, fever, and general fatigue) commonly develop.
Stage 2 . Untreated, the infection spreads through the bloodstream and lymph nodes within days to weeks, involving the joints, nervous system, and possibly the heart. Multiple rashes may erupt in other places. If the infection affects the nervous system in stage 2, it most often causes weakness or paralysis in the nerves of the face (Bell’s palsy) or in nerves of the spine.
Stage 3 . If the disease remains untreated, a persistent infection can occur after a few weeks or months, leading to prolonged bouts of arthritis and neurologic problems, such as concentration problems or personality changes. Fatigue is a prominent feature of both early and late stages.
The bull’s-eye skin rash, known as erythema migrans (ECM), usually first appears on the thigh, buttock, or trunk in older children and adults, and on the head or neck in young children.
The bull’s eye rash, which is considered the classic sign of Lyme disease, may take the following course:
It can first appear as a pimple-like spot, which expands over the next few days into a purplish circle. The circle may reach up to 6 inches in diameter with a deeper red rim. In some cases the ring is incomplete, forming an arc rather than a full circle.
The center of the rash often clears or may turn bluish. Or secondary concentric rings may develop within the original ring, creating the bull’s-eye pattern. Over the next several weeks, the circular rash may grow to as large as 20 inches across.
Patients often describe the sensation of the rash as burning rather than itching.
Up to 20% of people infected with Lyme disease do not exhibit the rash. On dark-skinned people, the rash may resemble a bruise. In most patients, any rash fades completely after 3 – 4 weeks, although secondary rashes may appear during the later stages of disease.
A flu-like condition is the most common sign of Lyme infection, and it can occur with or without a rash. Symptoms can last from 5 – 21 days and may include:
Chills and fever (100 – 103 °F)
Headache (usually most prominent at the back of the head)
Joint aches (usually in the large joints)
Swollen glands (in the area around the tick bite or elsewhere)
Less often, nausea, vomiting, and sore throat occur
Joint pain can arise at the same time as the skin rash. In early stages of Lyme disease, patients may experience migratory pain in joints, muscles, and tendons. In the later stages of the disease, arthritis may develop in one or two large joints such as the knee, elbow, or shoulder. (Knees are usually affected most.)
Common Neurologic Symptoms. Neurologic symptoms can first appear while the initial skin rash is still present or within 6 weeks after its disappearance. Sometimes they are the first symptoms that the patient experiences, but sometimes they may not occur until many months after the tick bite. The most common neurologic symptoms include headaches, sleep problems, and mood disturbance. Memory problems can also occur, as well as nerve damage in arms and legs. Neurologic symptoms typically improve or resolve within a few weeks or months, even in untreated patients.
Bell’s Palsy. In some patients, the facial nerve is affected, which results in Bell’s palsy. This is a sudden weakness and drooping of the facial muscles and eyelid on one side of the face. Nerves around the facial area may also cause numbness, dizziness, double vision, and hearing changes.
Symptoms of Meningitis. Meningitis can occur if the infection takes place in the membranes that surround the brain and spinal cord (the meninges). This can cause:
Episodes of headache not relieved by over-the-counter medication
Mild stiff neck
Sensitivity to light
Symptoms of Lyme Encephalopathy. In some cases of untreated disease, the infection causes a condition called Lyme encephalopathy or neuroborreliosis . This causes the following symptoms:
Unexplained mood changes
Trouble concentration and remembering
Feelings of “pins and needles” or numbness in the arms or legs
Heart symptoms, such as an irregular heartbeat, may develop several weeks after infection, but this is not very common. In rare cases, Lyme disease may cause eye inflammation (conjunctivitis).
It is not right to mutilate the genitals of any human being. It is a ruinous act designed to dull sensation in the male phallus so that he’s rendered more compliant by the standards set by religiosity and false authority. There are no studies that can confirm that a circumcised male produces greater cleanliness. These are myths that are ripe to be snipped from the landscape of our modern consciousness.
In this present day, even Judaism denounces the practice of Brit Milahs (ritual circumcision), given that eventually certain rituals run out of justification. Heck, even women can now be ordained as rabbis. If you hear a Jew, or anyone else, stating that ritual circumcision is justified on the basis of tradition, perhaps point out that the following are also “traditions” and were considered crimes, some punishable by death, according to the Torah (the first 5 books shared by the Christian Bible):
Cheating on your husband. (Lev. 20:10).
Fornicating – if you’re female. (Deut 22:21).
Homosexuality (Lev. 20:13).
Blasphemy (Lev. 24:16)
Insulting one’s parents. (Exod. 21:17)
Disobeying one’s parents. (Deut 21:18-21
Slavery (Exod 21:1-11) (Deut. 15:12-18)
Animal and human sacrifices. (Lev. 4:3, 4:23, 4:32, 5:7, 5:15; Judges 11:20, 11:33)
Divorce for men only. (Deut 24:1)
Female subservience to men including obedience to every order and no right to refuse sex. (Genesis 3:16)
Evolution is a function of human development and our basic human rights, not to cause harm, are inherent to our dominion under God; especially if it involves our physical, mental, and spiritual bodies. As educated and enlightened beings, it is our right to defend our perfect babies against medical or religious interventions if we feel that they are in contraindication to their health and well-being. In a deep state of reference for what is holy (and whole) in my child, I exercise my full liberty to protect both my son and daughter from interventions that are not congruent to their health or well-being. In fact, if you look at the top 10 Values of Judaism, you will realize that circumcision violates 90% of them:
Why Circumcision violates this value
V’ahavta l’rayaha kamokha
Love of others
If you love your baby, you don’t torture and mutilate his genitals.
It is not just or responsible to strap a baby down and mutilate his sex organs.
It is not kind or compassionate to strap a baby down and mutilate his sex organs.
Love of learning
It’s time we learn to stop mutilating babies. It’s a no-brainer.
It is not welcoming to strap a newborn baby down and mutilate his sex organs.
Peace/harmony in home/family
It does not ensure/ help peace and harmony when you strap a baby down and torture him. He will never trust you again and he will remember.
Perfecting the world
We’d be more perfect if we stopped torturing and mutilating little boy’s sex organs. God made us perfect. It is blasphemy to think we know better.
Sanctity of life
Babies have died during circumcision, therefore it violates the sanctity of life.
Sanctity of language
It is not modest to strap a baby down naked in front of people.
Even the famed medieval rabbi, Moses Maimonides, stated that ritual circumcision was probably designed to dull the desire in a man for masturbation and sexual intercourse. He states,
Part III, Chapter 49, Page 609:
“Similarly with regard to circumcision, one of the reasons for it is, in my opinion, the wish to bring about a decrease in sexual intercourse and a weakening of the organ in question, so that this activity be diminished and the organ be in as quiet a state as possible. It has been thought that circumcision perfects what is defective congenitally. This gave the possibility to everyone to raise an objection and to say: How can natural things be defective so that they need to be perfected from outside, all the more because we know how useful the foreskin is for that member? In fact this commandment has not been prescribed with a view to perfecting what is defective congenitally, but to perfecting what is defective morally. The bodily pain caused to that member is the real purpose of circumcision. None of the activities necessary for the preservation of the individual is harmed thereby, nor is procreation rendered impossible, but violent concupiscence and lust that goes beyond what is needed are diminished. The fact that circumcision weakens the faculty of sexual excitement and sometimes perhaps diminishes the pleasure is indubitable. For if at birth this member has been made to bleed and has had its covering taken away from it, it must indubitably be weakened. The Sages, may their memory be blessed, have explicitly stated: It is hard for a woman with whom an uncircumcised man has had sexual intercourse to separate from him. In my opinion this is the strongest of the reasons for circumcision.”
“This class of commandments also includes the prohibition against mutilating the sexual organs of all the males of animals, which is based on the principle of righteous statutes and judgments, I mean the principle of keeping the mean in all matters; sexual intercourse should neither be excessively indulged, as we have mentioned, nor wholly abolished. Did He not command and say: Be fruitful and multiply? Accordingly this organ is weakened by means of circumcision, but not extirpated through excision. What is natural is left according to nature, but measures are taken against excess. He that is wounded in the stones or hath his privy member cut off is forbidden to marry a woman of Israel, for such cohabitation would be perverted and aimless. Such a marriage would likewise be a stumbling block for the woman and for him who seeks her out. This is very clear. Source: THE GUIDE TO THE PERPLEXED, Maimonides, Moses, translated by Shlomo Pines. (University of Chicago, 1963) The whole basis for the bris is actually halachically forbidden; which means that it is clearly against the fundamentals of Jewish Law. It no longer should inform our behaviours towards our healthy, intact, sons whether we identify as Jewish or not. It is our job to preserve the sanctity of each human life, especially for those who trust us not to betray that trust. As a mother who feels inordinate guilt for allowing the bris to take place on my own son, in my own home, I repent deeply for this travesty upon my beautiful son. Even though, I fought against the rabbi and my in-laws, knowing instinctively, that strapping my son down to a board to have his genitals cut went against what I felt was right, I was weak in the face of their pressure. I asked that given his prematurity that the procedure be delayed for 6 weeks after birth and that he be brought to me immediately after to sooth and nurse him. If I’d only had the knowledge that Halaka (Jewish Law) dictates that since there is a danger to the babe’s life, medically hazardous procedures are strictly forbidden taking precedence over all else. My son had been born 2 months premature, I would have had plenty of justification in light of the information researched for this article. “It is a violation of Torah commandments to physically assault or harm another person (Exodus 21:18-27). Yet that is exactly what circumcision is! Thus, it is against the most fundamental concept of Jewish law.” Can you imagine that some Jews barbarously object to pain medication by the physician; but can you imagine 4 needles with anaesthetic injected into your genitals isn’t painless? Also, coating the babe’s lips in wine is no justification for this inhuman act. I feel guilty and angry at myself for allowing the coercion to take place over 21 years ago. I was a shut down, needy, woman who was silently mistaken for wanting to be a dutiful tribal member. My daughter had a very civilized baby naming ceremony. We had chocolate cake, we wrote poems in her honour. It was a ceremony orchestrated by women for the promise of a baby who’d one day become a woman. My son deserved the same ease, and promise for grace and full orgastic potency; not a shock that caused him to writhe in mistrust and terror against straps that restricted his freedom of movement. When we clear the event on many timelines, of the males we serve, their penis will break out with an angry rash. No wonder! Some people will say that if you’re against circumcision, you’re anti-semitic. Far from it. In fact, this is a ridiculous notion. I studied for almost 10 years to become a Jew, as a result, my children are Jewish, I’m married to a Jew and I identify with the persecution of any people who’ve suffered at the hands of any false authority. I’ve been treated with nothing but grace and respect by members of my chosen Jewish tribe, however, in pursuit of higher education where I was taught to question everything, I question this. Part of my own enlightenment and conscious maturity means that I reject many of the barbarous practices illustrated in the Torah. For example if 90% of African Americans chose to smoke and I was against smoking, it doesn’t mean that I’m against black people. It means that I’m against the behaviour, not the race. I am not remotely racist as a result. As one fellow enlightened Jew wrote, “Jews are smart. We are 1/3 of 1% of the population, yet we hold 33% of the Nobel prizes. This means that we are smart enough to understand that sexually mutilating our boys’ genitals is NOT acceptable.” It is time to forgive ourselves and move on. My hope is that any future grandsons of mine remain intact, breaking the cycle of pain and sexual compromise. I will do my best to educate my daughter and my son.”
I just recently attended a Womyn’s Summit with about 35 local birth-workers last weekend. There were Doulas, Midwives, birth attendants, and even a native elder (Sister Morningstar) from Missouri who champions “hands off” births. Sister told of a beautiful story where she was attending a birth with new Mom with a footling breach who’d just arrived at the hospital. The babe’s foot was clearly dangling from Mom’s birth canal. When the woman asked Sister Morningstar what to do, she simply replied,”Hang on to baby’s foot and relax.” By the time the Emergency Medical team could be summoned, baby was already safely born into her Momma’s arms without the aid of any medical personnelle or even the interfering hands of her mid-wife.
When new Moms come to me in preparation for birth, I typically recommend that they view two movies, “The Business Of Being Born” and “Orgasmic Birth.” The first one is about how our natural capacity for giving birth out of our own volition has been virtually hijacked by allopathic medicine producing the lowest rates of mortality as a result. Orgasmic birth is all about remembering why we’re giving birth with our beloved partner and how to use love-making endorphins to ease the birthing Mom’s stress and discomfort in the comfort of her own home.
In my second book, “Unfolding The Essential Self,” I write about the principles of natural labour by telling my own birth story with regards to my daughter born just an easy 10 minutes after dilating. This after, I was told that a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After C-Section) would not be possible after by son’s horrific birth chronicled here. Here’s a good reason to consider having your baby naturally at home:
“In an industry where the mortality rate of babes born in hospitals is alarmingly high, especially in the U.S. (Canada comes in a sad second) and especially in babes of racial minorities, it can feel like we’re victims of a medical industry that does not wholly have our best interests, or that of our babies, at heart. The fact that expectant mothers become patients in gowns, encouraged to use a wheelchair and to lie in bed waiting to be put out of their misery with an epidural is thankfully now becoming a thing of the past. Until recently, the options were not so great. Did you know that all women in Canada receive up to eight different drugs (including Oxytocin in their IV drips or in a shot in their shoulder) to encourage contractions whether they want to or not? Most women have no clue that their bodies are being invaded with “poisons” in this way. Birth is not a disease, condition, or illness, and should not be treated as such, especially not without our consent!
Hypno-birthing, doulas, water births, successful breach deliveries, and mid-wives are all terms we women are now championing as we take the fundamental right back to have our babes in the way that is most resonant and congruent for each one of us. In an article written by Jennifer Griebenow on the safety of hospital births versus home births, she was shocked to learn that “a study in the Netherlands done in 1986 on women who were having their first babies showed these results: out of 41,861 women who delivered in the hospital, the perinatal mortality rate was 20.2/1,000. Of 15,031 women who delivered at home with a trained midwife, the rate was 1.5/1,000 (Kitzinger 44).” She goes on to say, “I know, I thought it must be a typo too.” Read it again if you need to. I had to, too!”
Jennifer Grebienow, Home Birth and Out-of-Hospital Birth: Is it Safe? How Safe is that Hospital Anyway?, http://www.gentlebirth.org/ronnie/homejjg.html
Sister Morningstar also shockingly reported that if 4 generations of women have C-sections, by the 5th, the DNA code for birthing naturally will be so altered that the woman’s body of that generation won’t even attempt a natural birth. In effect, we’ll have de-programmed the body’s cellular memory for this normal biological function right out of our cellular matrix. The hormones won’t even bother to step up on our behalf. In fact, it takes a huge amount of concerted and conscious effort for a Mom to actually have a VBAC at all after a single C-Sectioned babe.
This wise woman went on to say that if we’re a culture bent on 100% life births then C-Sections should be championed, however, be aware of the inherent health risks of babes who’ve not had to fight their way through the birth canal to get here. My own C-sectioned son suffered lung issues, severe colic, allergies, autism, severe behavioural issues and gut dysbiosis alone associated with his birth. He also suffered the state of mind that everything be handed to him easily as this is what he’d learned to expect. He could never play on his own, always expecting us to play with him. He had very big issues with autonomy and struggle until Heilkunst Medicine.
As I’m writing this, I can’t help but think of the story of the Monarch butterfly:
“Once a little boy was playing outdoors and found a fascinating caterpillar. He carefully picked it up and took it home to show his mother. He asked his mother if he could keep it, and she said he could if he would take good care of it. The little boy got a large jar from his mother and put plants to eat, and a stick to climb on, in the jar. Every day he watched the caterpillar and brought it new plants to eat.
One day the caterpillar climbed up the stick and started acting strangely. The boy worriedly called his mother who came and understood that the caterpillar was creating a cocoon. The mother explained to the boy how the caterpillar was going to go through a metamorphosis and become a butterfly. The little boy was thrilled to hear about the changes his caterpillar would go through. He watched every day, waiting for the butterfly to emerge. One day it happened, a small hole appeared in the cocoon and the butterfly started to struggle to come out.
At first the boy was excited, but soon he became concerned. The butterfly was struggling so hard to get out! It looked like it couldn’t break free! It looked desperate! It looked like it was making no progress! The boy was so concerned he decided to help. He ran to get scissors, and then walked back (because he had learned not to run with scissors…). He snipped the cocoon to make the hole bigger and the butterfly quickly emerged!
As the butterfly came out the boy was surprised. It had a swollen body and small, shrivelled wings. He continued to watch the butterfly expecting that, at any moment, the wings would dry out, enlarge and expand to support the swollen body. He knew that in time the body would shrink and the butterfly’s wings would expand.
But neither happened!
The butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shrivelled wings. It never was able to fly…
As the boy tried to figure out what had gone wrong his mother took him to talk to a scientist from a local college. He learned that the butterfly was SUPPOSED to struggle. In fact, the butterfly’s struggle to push its way through the tiny opening of the cocoon pushes the fluid out of its body and into its wings. Without the struggle, the butterfly would never, ever fly. The boy’s good intentions hurt the butterfly.”
However, we can help Moms and babes birth more easily, without taking away the experience of having struggled into this world. In Heilkunst terms, we call this leaving the realm of crude nature and harnessing the principles of refinement. Here are just some of the remedies in alphabetical order from one of our newest books, “Natural Home Pharmacy for Women” to help you to easily give birth to your own babe, at home, in the company of your choosing, with as littler intervention as possible:
“Aconite napellus (Acon.) – For when you feel that you “may
die” and contractions feel like a runaway train and the intensity
is taking your breath away. This remedy can help to mitigate
fear and anxiety so that you don’t feel so restless and agitated.
This can also help baby to resolve shock or fright through all
stages of birth.
Arnica montana (Arn.) – Our paramount remedy for feeling
bruised, sore, and beaten-up during labour. The individual in
this state does not want to be touched. It will help with any soft
tissue damage to the birth canal and perineum, and is one of
several remedies we use in our post-surgery complex.
Arsenicum album (Ars.) – is a chief remedy for anxiety,
restlessness, diarrhea, or vomiting. It is also helpful when mom
can’t let go of the reins and trust her doula or midwife. She may
have a control-freakish nature and just apply the same fear of
losing control of her birth process, anxiously mired in the details.
The mom will also generally feel chilly and perhaps try to go off
on her own in an anxious state. This is the time to set up the
birthing pool with warm water and give Arsenicum, to help with
exhaustion and to ease with transition.
Bellis perennis (Bell-p.) – This is our choice for deep bruising
or deep tissue damage, beyond Arnica. It is useful when the
pelvis is sore from baby’s head coming through or mom has felt
she needed to push too concertedly. This remedy is ideal in the
case of surgery or any fractures.”
Please let us know if we can be of service to your during your birth plan. We’ve been Skyped in during a birth, and have even done hourly CoRe Bioresonance Feedback sessions to help with Mom’s state of mind during birth. We’re here if you feel that you need a hand or foot!
My son was a big gamer, he still is. I used to feel very much like this Mom, worried for his psyche, worried for the time not played outdoors, worried that he was living a life isolated from other humans. I used to tell him how it made me feel. I would even sit with him to find out which character he was this week and marvel at all the battle gear he’d assumed. He’d tell me about his prowess and what it would take to accumulate all the masks, shields and swords and that he had hundreds of kids around the world in his guild, looking up to him to lead them in the conquering of other worlds, levelling up at phenomenal rates. It was clear to me that he’d found a safe arena for all of the testosterone and that his mathematical, language and leadership skills might be of use. In my mind, I could justify it just one more day if I self-soothed, kept fulfilling my own desire program, and made sure he got his vitamin D regularly for living in virtual darkness and the Genetic Miasm for what I feared was the “unlived life.” I felt myself constantly placating my own fears and recommitting to my faith in him. Fast forward to the present. My beautiful son turns 21 in a few days. He is very balanced. He bikes everywhere, spends lots of time with “real”, human, friends and his virtual ones too. He teaches trampoline acrobatics, trampoline aerobics, manages about 20 kids, and opens and closes the facility daily. He tells me that he loves his life. My cousin’s daughter went there for a birthday party and reported to her Dad that she met the “kindest young man”, who was “very special” and took the time to teach “us how to have fun, but also be safe” on the Trampolines. His name was Jordan. I knew the feeling about this young man that his daughter described. She got to meet the essence of who he is too. Jordan tells me that he couldn’t do what he does, managing all those pieces and the youth in his life if it weren’t for all those guilds that he managed through his teens. The gaming was the arena for him to become the man that he is today. As I’d formerly feared, it didn’t take real estate away from him, in his eyes, it helped to craft who he is today; a loving, caring, compassionate and fulfilled young man who will only ever do what he loves backing off all false authorities, including his Momma.
Over a decade ago, or more, after locating a hard tumour in my left breast of some significance (about an inch or more in circumference), I decided that if I had it biopsied, I’d risk the spread of the highly contained cells to the rest of my body. For some unknown reason, I just trusted that if I had an ear that obviously had a function, why did I moralize that I needed to cut out a tumour in my breast and then fry my beloved breast with radiation and chemical therapy. Cutting it out was beyond my comprehension. It just felt deeply counter-intuitive to me.
I figured that the tumour had a function and that it would leave of it’s own accord if and when it was finished teaching me why it was there. Some family and friends freaked out when they found out that I wasn’t going the allopathic route to irradiate it. If you read my first book, “The Path To Cure; The Whole Art of Healing,” you’ll know that I called my tumour “Pansy” as I always sought an imaginary friend when I was a kid with the same name who would like to do some of the cool stuff that I was into like building tree forts and drawing for hours.
At this juncture in my careworn life (after my son was safely out of the Autism Spectrum), it seemed that Pansy had suddenly shown up with an encoded message. When I finally just sat down on the top of a mountain after trying to flee from her in terror, I learned that she simply wanted to engage with more fulfilling activities like going to the art gallery, learning how to draw again, taking afternoon naps and having really delicious sex with her resonant other. At the time, I’d just let go of a very stale marriage. It was up to me whether or not I chose to listen to her message.
I started taking the homeopathic remedies for a hard, left sided breast tumour and I went out and bought a $700 juicer. I’d heard about Dr. Gerson‘s approach to annihilating Cancer in many of his patients. He was so successful, that his institute was asked by the American Medical Association to leave the United States. As a result, they set up shop in Mexico and Hungary. If you want to know more about the allopathic approach to cancer and why it’s become lethal to most cancer patients, read “Physician” by Richard Leviton or “Reclaiming Our Health” by John Robbins. A documentary that is very good that few people know about on the reason that Cancer is not treated with success by the allopaths can be viewed here.
Years ago, I served an oncologist for cancer who refused to use his own protocols. He cited that after he effectively demoralized the patient by telling them that they only had 6 months to live, he literally poisoned them to death with radiation and chemotherapy. I was amazed at how candid he was. Seven years later, he’s still living today, cancer free, as an outdoor adventure tour guide far off the grid in another country. He chose to give up allopathic medicine as a result of reading the book “Physician” and solving his own Cancer Matrix outright. He too, is in love with his new life.
Cancer proliferates in an acidic and anaerobic (airless) environment. It seeks out one specific thing to sustain it; sugar. The individual is trying to suck the sweetness from life like a butterfly with a broken proboscis (insect-like straw). I had a patient in the cancer matrix whose allopathic physician recommended that she consume “Boost.” If you’ve read the ingredients, you’ll see quickly why this is actually counter productive and can actually harm a patient’s delicate health:
To solve my own Cancer matrix, I applied Heilkunst Principles which included the homotonic homeopathic remedies for the issues on my timeline where I’d rescued others to the exclusion of myself in addition to the Cancer Miasm coming down my family line. I also chose to adopt Dr. Max Gerson’s regimen to flood my system with alkaline-rich foods like raw carrot, kale, beet, apple and ginger juices. I also upped my vitamin D, iodine, and oxygen therapy by getting lots of cardio exercise in well-treed forests where I still nordic walk for several hours each week. I also let go of my stale marriage and found my resonant lover. I also learned to draw, paint, meditate, photograph, and write poetry and Pansy then let me go within about 6-8 weeks. I actually recall writing that I really missed her. She’d taught me a lot!
Anita Moorjani, who wrote the book “Dying To Be Me,” nearly died from stage 4 cancer and then also met the essence of her animating force through a near death experience. Thankfully, she then came back to dissolve every one of her tumours in a small number of weeks using no treatment therapy known to man or woman; her own state of mind. I too had to learn to “surrender” to learn to be me before my pansy would let go of me. I had to learn how to keep committing to the myself and the force that chooses to love and animate me. The false ego, full of ugly attachments, had to go!
Unearthing the roots of my feminine marginalization in our culture led me into a decade of research on why 80% of cancer occurs in women, 80% of the time in our sex organs. I went on a mission to suss out the route cause and in the process, I tripped over God. Not the sistine chapel God with the white hair and definitely not the God of Church-ianity, but the gnostic unutterable silence that first started it’s oscillation between the masculine and feminine force that created all of life from the most profoundest of love; the very essence of our very human nature, the God of the Pleroma. I wanted to know the very essence of the source of the all. My tumour led me to one of the keys to the Kingdom.
In case you’re curious, I’m working on a new memoir in that vein entirely, now, and can’t even remotely imagine how I could have once lived the cancer paradigm; the un-lived life while trying to rescue others to the exclusion of myself. Thankfully that state of mind seems eons away, or was it? I’ve reclaimed my health, recommitted once again, and have repaired my proboscis. Now, others consult with me, and my husband who uses CoRe Bioresonance Feedback to solve their own cancer matrix. Each one of them have to learn how to do get the sweetness from their lives, in a similar way, for themselves while drinking the nectar of lots of juiced carrots on many afternoons between the sheets.
Diseases like Multiple Sclerosis, Parkinson’s, Cerebral Palsy and Fibromyalgia can be very difficult to treat! Patients who’ve lost sensation in their bodies have a great deal of emotional armouring. This means that they’ve pretty much kinked the hose to their own feelings, functions and sensations with regards to the content withheld in their musculature for fear of the natural dredging process. Subconsciously, they’ve become so savvy at keeping the composition of their emotional and physical pain at bay that they’ve literally walled themselves off to it.
I know, because when I came to Heilkunst Medicine I suffered with Fibromyalgia myself.I was successfully armoured and I did not trust myself to open the pandora’s box of my own past and so I shut down the feeling of all pain, and also all pleasure.All of these conditions are pathic (pathology) expressions of the tonic (root cause) disease Syphilis. For more on this underlying phenomenon see our blog on panic disorders.
They’ve lost, not only their human connection with others which causes them to live from not only a place of detachment, but criticism, hate, blame and a distrust so primordial, that they see no shifts in their condition; no matter how subtle or even how great.It is the ultimate in a lack of consciousness; especially self-consciousness. They can’t easily feel sensations, physical or emotional.
I’ll give you a perfect example. Years ago, I’d treated an MS patient who was bed-ridden. When she came to work with me by phone, she only had the use of her right hand. The problem was that not only had she lost her viability and motility, but she had always used both of her hands to engage with her craft. Like me, she loved writing and editing (details have been changed to protect her identity) Also, like me, her childhood was an exhibition of Syphilis-related occurrences with little or no acknowledgement of her essential self or her unique gifts. Her parents literally cancelled her out and inserted their desire program for her over her proper individuation.This is a common theme in Fibro., CP., MS and Parkinson’s too.
Many of these patients were entirely disregarded as individuals, their own true desire program negated. As a result, they forgot how to truly feel sensation and also emotion. In some cases, parents of these children pushed their feelings onto the child, like stipulating that they go to their room until they can act more happily or appropriately in their view. Sadly, I’ve seen many of these cases where the individual was never permitted to express any true emotions except a forced illusion of contentment. The colour of their real character leached from their lives.
What happens, then is that the individual never learns how to notice changes in her own body; natural feelings, functions or sensations get replaced with undischarged content that is still stored up in her physical body. We call this undesirable state, “successfully armoured.” You’ll know when you’re in their midst as they will express a deep fear of any kind of change from the onset. They will fear taking the remedies, they will fear the untapped emotions taking them by surprise, they’ll fear that no will like them any more and they will fear recognizing themselves. This is the armouring talking in an effort to preserve the status quo.
The successfully armoured patient will have walled herself off from human connection putting on that false “happy face.” You’ll see how she’s kinked her own hose to be sure that no true feelings of anger course through her body in order to spare the others in her midst from her perceived down-right dirty hatred. You will also see how this has affected her quality of life by keeping her separate from humanity and true intimacy with herself and others.
Did you know that losing yourself to your anger is the same gesture that follows the same release pattern for the orgasm function? It’s the same tripping of the lights fantastic. I can’t successfully let go to one impulse, knowing I’ll come back on grid in one piece, if I can’t let go to the other. An individual can’t know the full breadth of love unless they also know the full depths of their hate. Folks who are successfully armoured can’t let go effectively to true orgastic potency.
This, of course, was a defence mechanism. Dr. Wilhelm Reich in his book, Character Analysis, would term this “orgasm anxiety.” When a patient is successfully armoured, they deem all changes, including good ones, as a threat. Just as I was, I’ve served patients who were terrified of life flowing and pulsating through their bodies, so they subconsciously shut down any possibility of that happening.
The MS, Fibro., CP, and Parkinson’s patient secretly commits to cutting off the supply of nourishment, oxygen and normal functioning to their metabolic limb system first and then, over time, their limbic system second. The limbic is a complex system of nerves and networks in the brain, involving several areas near the edge of the cortex concerned with instinct and mood. It controls the basic emotions (fear, pleasure, anger) and drives (hunger, sex, dominance, care of offspring). They’re literally snuffing out their own rage but the cost is that they end up entombing themselves in their own self-hatred. Down goes the grid on their normal biological functioning along with a goodly chunk of healthy feeling and intimacy along with it.
It is very interesting to me that at the first follow-up consultation, the patient suffering this particular matrix will cite, “< nothing has changed since the initial consultation.” (I quietly smile to myself as I too said this once to my own Heilkunst Practitioner. If I gave credence to this statement every time I’ve heard it, I would have given up my practice years ago.) As is typical, I will go through the typical line of questioning around food, water, symptoms, etc. When we poke around in the details, I discover that about 20-60% of their issues are resolved.
On many occasion, it will be something like, “headaches more dull and in the morning now” whereas my prior notes indicated,” throbbing like hammers all day.” Other symptom resolutions can show up as, “waking 2-3 times per night” whereas prior, “waking 5-6 times per night having to get up and pee.” It is very common for shifts to be this subtle. It’s a bit like trying to watch a pot boil on the stove. Over the course of the 28 day healing cycle, we’ll always find subtle changes.
On many cases notes, I’ve made the accurate note, “> sx improved 60%!” (sx is our shorthand for “symptoms” or “suffering” next to the better than symbol). When I feed this rate of improvement back to the patient, they’ll typically say something like, “Oh that is just due to the allopathic medication that I’ve been taking.” They’ll typically have been on the same chemical drugs for years.
In one case, I had an MS patient relay a conversation she’d had with one of her physical therapists and how she wanted to show her the lack of circulation in her legs, but when she goes to show her, her legs are significantly improved! The colour had dramatically shifted from “purple” to a more normal tone. She admitted that this might have something to do with Heilkunst treatment as this has never happened spontaneously before. Again, I’m smiling silently at the other end of the phone while very quickly trying to capture as much as I can of her case details for my notes as I know that there will be others.
In another case, the shifts were more emotional. I had another wheelchair ridden patient with MS who cited a significant occurrence that first month was that for the first time in her life a family member had come to visit that month and even though they always previously spoke of current events and the weather, quite suddenly he acknowledged how difficult it must have been for her to be diagnosed and then live day to day with MS. He even stated, that he might not be strong enough to even live like this himself. For the first time in her life, she felt at least confirmed by a family member.
At this moment, in this woman’s case, I’m thinking of the remedies in her “Emotional Support Dropper” for inner value and the fact that we’d just cleared the first event on her timeline. It had to do with a male, in a position of authority, that had significantly invalidated her. Unfortunately, the patient doesn’t always equate an occurrence of this nature as an inherent part of Heilkunst medicine treatment and will chock it up as a coincidence.
While, typically, the patient’s issues will improve incrementally over time and they will become more and more self-educated for what to look for. In yet another patient’s case, years ago, I recall another partially paralyzed patient stating just before we were about to hang up, “By the way,” she said, “My physiotherapist noticed the other day that my left hand was moving. Usually it just lays dormant in my lap. In fact, I’m moving it right now.” Curiously, thinking this can’t be of any real significance or she would have mentioned it at the onset of the session, I innocently asked her how long it had been since she’d last moved her left hand. When she cited,”At least a couple of decades or more,” I wasn’t sure I’d heard right.
After a couple of thudding heartbeats, I noticed my own hands hovering frozen above my keyboard. In that moment, there was nothing more for me to write. I was a little more than dumb-founded. If she wasn’t “changed,” I sure the heck was … and deeply. Thank you, Dr. Samuel Hahnemann, for your magnificent medical system of Heilkunst! I wouldn’t want to serve a patient for a minute without it.
I recall, once, about 20 years ago a sensation at the bottom of my spine.What started as a generalized ill ease at my core, suddenly burst forth into what felt like a black cloak over my head trying to suffocate me.I couldn’t breath, my eyes springing wide in terror.I watched myself flail in horror as my heart thumped wildly in my chest, my mouth went dry and I sputtered and wheezed clinging to what felt were my last breaths.In that moment I just knew that I was going to die.
As my pores poured forth a clammy, rank sweat, I smelled the beguiling essence of death on my skin.I anxiously perceived that this was the end and my headstone flashed before my eyes, folks dressed in black appeared to be mourning my departure and a very insignificant obituary appeared in the back of the Sunday paper.It was all there like a movie playing sequentially before my dread-filled eyes.
When I felt the black shroud threaten to close my wind pipe forever, I felt my body (and finally my mind) simply surrender.It was a like the apex of the crescendo of terror finally peaked and I felt a far off floating feeling come to retrieve my beleaguered soul.Was I swooning like an 18th century Jane Austen character?As I crumbled to the ground, my knees hitting the tarmac of my apathy, I just let go.A beacon of calm over took me and I let go to my inevitable demise as I hit the floor. My funeral scene went black.
As my consciousness slowly re-booted, I could sense muzzy thoughts trickling back in. While still prone on the floor, I felt that there was no more effecting my broken will required here, no need for all those lists that defined a hobbled success for me as a unfulfilled slave in a system that required my compliance. In that moment, I realized that I’d become a doormat, a lackey in life’s machine of work, cooking for my husband, paying taxes and raising thankless kids.As a result, I realized deep down, I was knee-bumping (literally) terrified that this was all there was to my fractured life.
It was a moment that I will never forget.If I’d been a follower of Freud, and the descendants of his psychoanalytic society, he might say that I’d faced the death instinct with a certain aplomb and adroitness. Certainly, intellectually, it was clear that I’d hit up against the crux of my mortality. Any Psychotherapist with ink in his pen and a prescription pad would likely look at drugs to suppress this trip down the pipe of terror.Some anti- this or anti-that to thwart my clearly “chemically” imbalanced brain.Most patients of this model are happy if you just suppress and thwart their capacity to repeat this obvious “disorder” from gaining any patterned traction again.
However, I’m not a typical woman of the Freudian camp.If you simply shut down the predisposition for me to know the gnarly essence of myself, you short circuit the potential for empowerment.I wanted to own the reigns in my life, not be hobbled on the illusion of any drug. It is still my modus operandi.I’m no seemingly play now, pay later kind of gal.I’m wiredto know the etiological roots of my suffering; to suss out the cause and predisposition for my episodes of panic wrought with asphyxiation.Why was I being smothered? 1
When I began to study at the Hahnemann College for Heilkunst, I learned that Wilhelm Reich, once a favoured student of Freud’s, would cite that it was not death that I was actually instinctually scared of; it was life!My organism had never learned how to live, out of grace, pleasure and the orgasm function.If you want to re-read my panic attack story above, again, as if you’re reading a bit of erotica, you’ll see that if I was properly threaded, the function of the orgasm (big luscious expression of health and life) would actually follow the same biological path; tension, charge, discharge and then relaxation or realization. Panic attacks are a severe distortion into fight/flight of the biological norm for genital primacy and then true orgastic potency.If examined closely, in this vein, you’ll see that the gesture is in fact similar.
Most folks don’t even know that this biological function exists due to the fact that, just like I was, their stuck in genital primacy having clitoral climaxes or penile ejaculations which is really just an appetizer. My former Mentor, Steven Decker would cite that a climax is really just a “genital sneeze” isolated to the genitals necessary to training for the whole bodily event for the earth to move, the “grand mal seizure” version of true orgastic potency.My neurotic intellect producing the panic attacks would need to undergo a re-training to discharge the fear and terror trapped below my armouring through the orgasm function; through pleasure, not pain. This was a serious upgrade from talk therapy and prescriptions. 2
Just as a child needs their fever function to help train them up biologically to their immune function for when something serious comes along, adults who’re not properly strung through their healthy sexual functioning will suffer panic attacks and disorders of this nature as an attempt to discharge fear and terror. If not properly plumbed, the thwarted content will hit the armouring that causes the loop for panic to gain traction and momentum until the damn breaks causing symptoms like heart palpitations, sweaty palms, irrational thoughts and suffocation.The thwarted sexual expression is an attempt at the biological release of the damned up content below decks in your subconscious (nether man) at the core of your being clanging against your armouring and beliefs.The secret mantra will be, “I can’t let go, I can’t let go, I can’t let go.”
The essence that animates you just sneers out of tough love with the opposite gesture, “Do you want to bet?” And suddenly your biological damned up mechanism trips the lights fantastic and you’re suddenly careening wilding up the side of the panic roller coaster to the trippy peak with lips mouthing unspoken terrors with lips turning blue as you fall to your knees in the ultimate gesture of supplication.It is this hobbled curtsy of genuine genuflection in your swoon that is also attributed to the capacity for a healthy orgasm function.3
Reich wrote, in his book, “The Function Of The Orgasm; Sex-economic Problems of Biological Energy,” that, “I came to consider the instinct as nothing more than the “motor aspect of pleasure.”” When I first fell upon these words, I felt something transcendent take root in my thoughts with regards to my own panic attacks.Could it be that the answer to my issues did not have to have the temporary band-aid of yet another round of talk therapy and a prescription for drugs?Could it be that by retraining my system from suffering to pleasure, I could release the pent up suffocative content at my core?Did I feel I deserved to live this way?That, right there, turned out to be the bigger question in my de-armouring process. 4
I began to learn that talk therapy only has the capacity to access content post-cognition.This means that you have to have the recall to speak about your history to a point of memory to leverage the harboured dormant content. What is your armouring took place between birth and age 3 or 4. Did that mean you were biologically and psychologically screwed?What if there was another way to get at that content where I didn’t have to engage in yet more years of verbiage with therapists mostly sicker than I was as I’d spent years in therapy, partially paid for by the State, to no avail and was poorer on many levels for it.
At the onset of 1924, Reich published a series of papers on the idea of “orgastic potency,” and the capacity to release blocked emotions from the musculature, losing oneself uninhibited to the orgasm.This was the basic idea that Freud had come to call Reich’s “hobby horse,” or in German, “Steckenpferd.”Reich had argued that psychic health and the ability to love fully, oneself and others, depended on the capacity for the full discharge of the libido, or true orgastic potency, “Sexual release in the sex act must correspond to the excitement which leads up to it. It is not just to fuck … not the embrace in itself, not the intercourse. It is the real emotional experience of the loss of your ego, of your whole spiritual self.” 5
In that moment, I was dumbfounded, this was the answer that I sought.As I delved further into Reich’s other books, on cancer (also part of my former package of suffering, see footnote 1) and character analysis, I realized how and why the psychoanalytic community at the time became limited to talk therapy and prescriptions and why I chose to pursue a full out cure to my panic disorder and the myriad of my other sufferings I’d engendered over my lifetime.I have the system of Heilkunst, and it’s predecessors like Reich, to bow down to now in genuine gratitude and healthy supplication. As a result, I haven’t had a panic attack in over 20 years.
1For more on this, “The Path To Cure; The Whole Art of Healing,”Arcanum Acres Publishing, McQuinn, Allyson, 2004 found in Amazon or for the latest 2015 audio podcast