The Band-Aid On The Elephant’s Ass Of My Life

It’s actually funny if you think about it, in the 50s and 60s we were given the image that so much of our lives would become automated that we’d all be sitting around reading magazines and nibbling on bonbons. Well, this couldn’t be further from the truth.

Given that the patriarchal powers-that-be rigged a bra burning movement, and then a debt-based economy, we’ve now got both men and women stressed to the teeth. I recall also living this way, serving the corporate machine, afraid one day that we’d both miss picking up our son on time from daycare.

It was a five day rat race and then the weekends were dedicated to cleaning a home that we barely lived in during the week, that we were mortgaged to the hilt for for the next 25 years. It was so demoralizing.

I blew my adrenals, suffered chronic fatigue, was in bed for several days every month barely able to cope on so many levels. If you got in the way of my chocolate habit, after the kids were in bed, I can’t say I’d treat you with any remotely ethical grace.

I was exhausted and it’s true that I hated my life. I felt broken physically, mentally, and emotionally by the up hill struggle of trying to slap band-aids on the elephant’s ass that I called my life. I never had the feeling that I could take anytime to do anything well.  I didn’t even know what self-care meant!

After trying to solve my son’s autism spectrum issues, I had a complete, well orchestrated, nervous break-down. I quit my ridiculously high paying consulting job and came home to write poetry for several months. My husband just about lost his elephant sized #$%^ over that escapade. I told him that I was between contracts.

I modified the whole kitchen to knock out the carbs., grains, and refined sugars. Anything white and non-organic went into the garbage. I had just started Heilkunst treatment and within those first few months, my inner value began creeping up a couple of nefarious notches.

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I started following Dr. Abravanel’s lifetime nutrition plan to help solve my glandular stress and heal my hormonal expressions that turned my Ms. Hyde into the worse Dr. Jekyll before my menses every month. It was quite the over-haul for which I’ve never gone back to my wicked ways. That was over 18 years ago now.

As a result, for this month’s newsletter, we’re going to focus our blog posts on both hormonal and glandular typology. Our hope is that if you’re as stressed out as I once was that it will be the pieces to help you get on the road to recovery.

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This afternoon, after writing all morning, I rolled over on my towel at the beach while the Caribbean Sea ebbed its lacy tide at the shore near my feet. I can’t believe that Heilkunst was so instrumental in taking me from what felt like hell on earth to now what feels like heaven. I now feel so very blessed.

Our Warmest,

Ally and Jeff

(Excerpted from May 2016 Newsletter)

P.S. To find out more about our hormonal and nutrition protocols and much more, click on the link below to receive a copy of our monthly newsletter:

 

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Staphysagria’s Victimization Versus Aggression – A Mini Study in Polarities

The laws of the universe are made up of polarities. This is how the planets don’t fly off into the ether and wipe out The Starship Enterprise. Also, night follows day, a growth spurt follows a fever and boy will quite often meet a girl. These polarities create new life, vortexes and Fibonacci sequences propelling us towards growth in nature’s logical formation.

We find each other, and the embrace takes place. The swirling energy of first love. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. My romantic heart, mind and body crave to know the other through a co-communion of every one of my bodies. It is true that all new life begins with swelling and heat. This is the upside of the Fibonacci vortex.

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Aloe by Kai Schreiber

All seeds swell with moisture when the soil heats up in spring spawning new life. A morning glory flower will close at day’s end. The lowest palm frond to the earth will die, shudder and peel off the trunk enabling the remaining fronds to live on, for now. This more contractive death march is the downswing of the Fibonacci spiral. Our intimacy en route to orgasm works the same way … up spiral … down spiral … up spiral … down spiral. This is also true for curing disease.

Curing rage and anger is not different. The up spiral is aggression, the down spiral is victimization. Swelling and contraction, over-inflated aggrandizement and it’s polarity, prey. It is the two sides of the same spiral.

Our relationships are also based on these inherent physical and spiritually-imbued polarities. They are gifts, a universal endowment. God’s loot bag for our being birthed.

In the case of the Staphysagria disease matrix, one person will shoot off like a canon with anger, going from 0 – 700 decibels in under 20 seconds perhaps yelling at the other person. The expression “Going Postal” captures this side of the Staph. energy. Reacting suddenly with an expression of anger so out of proportion to the actual stimulus is very characteristic. They will generally throw things …. up spiral. The down spiral of ‘victimization’ will cower in terror, making herself as small as possible, fearing any notice with terror.

This distinct polarity in Staph. is like night and day. It is true that every unhealthy aggressor must have its equally unhealthy victim.  This is not a judgement, it is simply the observed phenomenon after twenty years of research.  The whole basis of survival of a species is based on this polarization between the strongest and most skilled, and its prey. Nature doesn’t moralize, it is just the way that it is.

However, we can alter this disease endowment. Run up alongside this polarity in motion, toss the potentized remedy at it and take out its legs. We can also force the hand of its alter ego of Lachesis (guilt and shame). After Staphysagria is cured, it will usually illuminate Lach. I’m only observing the outcome, the phenomenon of consciousness.  Again, I’m simply an observational scientist.

In the healthy dynamic, we term the polarity ‘will’ (masculine) and ‘surrender’ (feminine); in health we should be able to easily wield both at the cusp of a vibrant borderland. Our heart-filled orgasm function also depends on it. I should be able to call on either gesture at a moment’s notice. The key to wholeness is to be able to be both conjointly! 

However, if someone is in a more diseased state they forfeit choice.  They become karmically locked into one mode of being either the victim OR the aggressor, then “Houston, we have a problem” — a Staphysagria disease problem. It is true that formerly abused women will typically, and sadly, find another relationship with yet another abuser, even if she thinks that she’s skipped her karmic default ‘this time’ having secured a loving partner.

If this disease matrix is not cured outright, she’ll inadvertently produce the very same ill-fated dynamic as before, helping to create that very same gesture of martyrdom again seeking its very ugly mate. Often, she will subconsciously resonate with yet another perpetrator which will reveal itself, first subtly, and then more overtly over time the more she acquiesces to old behaviors.

I was so interested in this dynamic that I went on to do my postgraduate research into why women are often so paralyzed in victimhood, re-attracting a mate who causes them mental and emotional harm. I’ve studied the phenomenon both in those that have been rapists and those that have sadly been victimized by rape.  As a woman, I wanted to understand our etiology as historical victims often burned at the stakes of patriarchal hate.

My research, stemming back to the Bible, finally culminated with the book, Unfolding The Essential Self; From Rage to Orgastic Potency that cited much of Dr. Wilhelm Reich’s Character Analysis and his understanding of how emotional and physical shocks become characterological armoring stored up in the physical body. After I’d apprehended my thesis, I wanted to find out what to do about it clinically. This seemed like a natural avenue to follow as a multi-orgasmic Feminist.

As a result, at Arcanum Wholistic Clinic where I serve patients, internationally, we use sound regimen to make the organism both strong and labile (another polarity), and then homeopathic remedies like Staphysagria to discharge the anger from a timeline of abuse or aggression. Through Character Analysis and a more cognitive approach, we help to ensure that the patient doesn’t reinfect themselves again with the old state of mind, reverting to old default patterns.   It can be likened to very carefully and elegantly dismantling a bomb.

The expressions of rage can be profoundly deep and cathartic. Sometimes the patient will yell, scream, hit a punching bag, project or simply and more subtly just “change her own mind.”  I’ve had patients express deep rage at a suppressive parent by staging their imaginal death on the stage of their imagination.  Much liberation can occur from an exercise like that.  Journalling and meditations can also be brilliant homework to help raise consciousness of the issue as it resolves.

It depends on the individual and how deep into the somatic layer the depth charge was laid. The reverberations can be a ripple in a puddle or of tsunami-like proportions. Aggressors and victims alike will often have the linchpin removed as we reach deeper into the sequential removal of their childhood shocks and traumas. Early childhood will reveal the force-field where the engenderment first occurred.   The key is to be able to effectively hold the patient as they hit the psychic trip wires laid lovingly at their feet.

The forcefield of hate will be revealed.  It is just a matter of time and patience.  It will be laid bare and raw for us both to view the original split in consciousness for which they subconsciously decided between victim or aggressor. When the patient sees it, they will choose to change it, and discharge the energy of persecution. The aggressor will show empathy and the victim will step up and exhibit self-compassion and a desire to protect herself (and those entrusted to her) appropriately.   It is fair to say that I love this moment of liberation.

I liken that magical moment in session to waking from a dream, albeit a nightmarish possession of sorts. Jesus even said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing. And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.” Luke 23:34. As you can see, here we have the division cited again from a historical perspective. The schizophrenic split between aggressor and victim wholly becomes healed.

Once the rage is resolved, it opens the individual up more for love and true orgastic potency out of a healthier will and capacity for surrender … up spiral … down spiral. They’ll be able to oscillate and hold the charge of a healthier radial and contractive gesture. Reich termed this the healthy orgonome. Former abusers will generally find their more sweet, wisdom-soaked and surrendered side, victims will find their vital drive to become their more vibrant essential selves, fulfilled and more fully actualized; both can now know true orgastic potency.

This is why I re-wrote this polarity from my rage thesis, two years later, into a novel entitled, Sophie’s Truth; How a Young Girl Unfolded Her Essential Self Through Love. For me, I had wanted to depict this healthy polarity between the sexes in the story form of a novel and see how we treat the state of mind more clinically. I wrote it for both men and women even though the main character is female and narrowly misses being raped at a house party and how she uses the remedy Staphysagria to find her essential orgastic self.

You may see where the dynamic of victimization was first seeded in my character’s story. Her parents are terrified that she will have sex, constantly projecting their fears onto her with helicopter-parenting which creates the armored terror Sophie suffers. Eventually, it produces the ultimate prey response at a party one night where she is victimized. A victimized child will just recreate her being victimized in other circumstances. Her fright is sniffed out by a young aggressor, motivated by hate, eager to bite into the flesh of her soft, tender neck by a character I named Peter (the wolf incarnate).

It was important to me, at the time, to share the thesis in a less academic, more accessible novel with younger women who craved to know love and true orgastic potency after a rape – the supreme form of victimization. I depict Sophie, my character, as having been conditioned as a victim by her parents who raise her to have virtually no trust or self-reliance. Her parents were her first persecutors, and the pattern is later mirrored in her social schema. Peter, of course, is her Father in younger sheep’s clothing.  It is an actual depiction of a great number of patients I’ve served.

After receiving just two homeopathic remedies, Aurum for inner value, and Staphysagria for victimization, my character comes to a better place of grace, just as I’ve described clinically above. Sophie makes some stunning realizations on the bus from Paris to Nice, France that enable her to move through her karmic conditioning, evolving into the young woman who’s able to be on equal footing with her true beloved.

Much of my research speaks to Dr. Wilhelm Reich’s book, Children of the Future, which describes the phenomenon of armoring and how our belief structures are just faulty sutures on the traumas of our past. These emotional insults show up in our body’s segments as biological sheaths that over time become plates like shields in our musculoskeletal systems that can be measured by how much energy remains trapped below the skin when a stimulus is perceived.

A parent’s aggressive tendencies to always be in charge will produce eternal victims that just seek out other aggressors to replace the ones that she grew up with. I can not tell you how many times I’ve seen this in my practice. The idea is that by softening the musculature with good nutrition, exercise, ample water, exercise and the right homeopathic remedies administered at the right time using the law of cure, the individual can extricate themselves from their karmic patterning.

The patient will begin to adhere to her own inner ethical compass (instead of an external one) and begin to exercise her will, in conjunction with her capacity to surrender, and grow her confidence and capacity to step up on her own behalf, out of self-love. It is the most beautiful thing to see. I feel so blessed to have witnessed this true transformation countless times.

Like my character, Sophie, who starts out by not being capable of making an autonomous decision for herself (until she achieves cure of her state of mind by homeopathic law), I’ve served patients exhibiting the same qualities. Once, however, she’s finally set free, discharging the rage of persecution, she’s able to fully self-actualize more into a state of grace with a healthier will and discernment.

It is such true grace to witness both my female and male patients come to a state of more balanced grace after an event of sexual assault. It is tough to help them find the necessary kahunas to become the healthy leader at times when it is necessary, or alternatively, completely relax and let themselves be taken out of love. It’s true that tantra (inside out) may be the polarity of the more base pornography (outside in), but that’s a whole other article.

I once took a self-defence course, called Wen-do, in my 20s designed specifically for women in the booming metropolis of downtown Toronto. It was highly recommended by the Rape Crisis Centre in order for women to learn instinctual coping strategies needed for fending off an aggressor when needed. I witnessed the bravest of women, studying this art of self-defence, from the seat of their wheelchairs!

It is fair that I felt concerned for my less able-bodied sister, but thankfully, I learned that you don’t have to be stronger,  just more knowledgeable about physics. I witnessed that from any position, you can facilitate the aggressor in the direction that he’s already going in by using his momentum, immobilizing him to the floor, pinning him in his tracks.

In the class, we were encouraged to get comfortable finding our voices, and acting completely crazy by screaming out random grocery lists items! This can actually be effective in the face of an aggressor who can become instantly afraid of someone seriously mad while spitting the words, “broccoli, cauliflower and cheese strings!” into their face with a familiar bridled hate-soaked will. I learned that you can turn the tables on an aggressor in an instant using this approach!

I was also truly amazed, in that class, at how hard it was to teach some women to express rage, even in the face of an aggressor who could possibly maim them or worse. You could tell that they were just pre-programmed to “take it”, due to prior unresolved traumas in childhood.  You could actually observe them empowering the aggressor with their broken wills and victimized stance, their gestures of anger hollow and empty. Their armoring condemning them to a plight of repeated violations and I felt afraid for them.

It was interesting to me that when my son was studying Aikido, he’d ask me to attack him and then suddenly I’d find myself sucking dirt off the kitchen floor. Even though he was taller and much stronger than me, he showed me how I could also render the same move and get the same good results with him when he, alternatively, pretended to attack me.  It was amazingly effective.  Too bad we don’t spend more time educating aggressors how to become caring and conscientious empaths.

In order to be fully threaded as orgastic beings, we have to be able to convert our hate and rage into love … or we’re lost without either hope, gestures of self-love, or faith in ourselves. We need access to both in order to foster a healthy capacity for sexual intimacy where we toss the tantric ball back and forth between us through the oscillating gesture of will and surrender.

The orgasm function is totally built on this inherent capacity. Leading ourselves and the other closer and closer up and also down the climactic steps until we build up enough energy in our organism to trip the lights fantastic into the realm of the more heady all-over body orgasm, a loss of consciousness and full discharge of all nether content, including anger. A full release of this hate and rage is actually not possible for either the Staphysagria victim or their aggressor as I will illustrate further below.

When I give Staphysagria on the sound basis of like cures like, I see a brilliant resolution to an individual’s capacity to step up out of victimization, or alternatively, step down from having been more the aggressor. After the remedy is given, I’ll often counsel the patient to take a partnered dance class to learn how to lead, or to acquiesce. Also a self-defence course where a person can learn to scream, “carrots!” like never before, can save a life.

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Case Illustrations of the polarities of Staphysagria for Clinician and Patients (Please note that due to patient confidentiality, I had to find other creative ways to illustrate this phenomenon in nature):

A few years ago, I was interviewed by John Campbell on his radio show in Saint John, New Brunswick. It was about a local politician who’d been put away in jail for the sexual assault of a number of youth in his care. I argued that both the perpetrator and the victims were equally broken and that the way the justice system works, neither party obtains cure which just continues to perpetuate the dynamic, generation after generation. It is palliative, or suppressive, at best as the victims will generally grow up to be aggressors.

I recall in my early 20’s thinking about going into Law until I witnessed firsthand the injustices in the justice system. The rapists and murderers often going free based on a technical loophole spun by a savvy lawyer who could work the system was such an abomination of justice.

I’d lived with my Godparents after my parents had died at age 17. My Uncle was one of the top criminal lawyers in Canada. I often read diaries of the offenders and then went to watch, in fascination, the court proceedings. I once asked him how many of his client were guilty, and he replied ‘all of them’. When I asked him how many he got off from serving time, he replied, ‘almost all of them’.

In one case his client had raped and murdered a young girl in Niagara Falls. I had read his journals. He was the son of a fellow big wig lawyer. That boy walked and on that day in court, so did I.

As a result of getting so many criminals “off” my Uncle died prematurely by Alcoholism and Type II Diabetes (unable to extract the sweetness out of life) for which I’d had to attend to festering sores on his feet. My aunt was off travelling and having affairs with various wealthy tycoons. It was a sick and dysfunctional picture of impotence. Not my long-term gig at all.

Thusly, though, this Physician was born with a deep love for resolving chronic disease and a phenomenal fascination for armoring and the healthy human condition was born. My partner and I are listening to the Serial podcast with Sarah Koenig and the Undisclosed podcast with Rabia Chaudry regarding the Adnan Syed case in the States where a Muslim youth was totally framed for the murder of a young Asian girl. Both, sadly, were victims of a patriarchal judicial system that had no desire but to serve its white supremacist self. It is great to hear the police and justice system totally torn apart by law professors and a couple of ethical young lawyers, although, 17 years post hence. However, I digress.

This brings me to the conclusion of my study here. I want you to hear the words of a victim of a woman victimized by Jian Ghomeshi. He’s a famous ex-radio show host who allegedly victimized and brutally assaulted a string of innocent women. Many went on dates with him with promises that he’d help their modelling or acting careers.

Listen to their words and please let me know at the bottom of this article what your response is to them. The first one even comes from an adjacent village from mine in New Brunswick.

Excerpt: “The pain was so bad, she recalled, that she considered going to the hospital the next day. Instead, she accepted Ghomeshi’s pleas to give him one more chance and meet him again in a public place for a platonic outing. They ended up watching TV at his house and cuddling. He told her he was from an abusive family. They maintained a friendly correspondence for a while, but what happened didn’t sit well with her. She ultimately confronted him to say she felt he had manipulated her. That’s when he reminded her in an aggressive tone that he had kept records: “i have text messages…you WANTED it…””

Excerpt: “Three other women told me similar stories, supported by evidence, of manipulation and entrapment. Ghomeshi would establish an electronic paper trail before the alleged violence took place and would make efforts to continue a correspondence afterwards. It followed a pattern.”

Excerpt: “They would then meet him, and what happened, happened.

If women were upset with him or elusive afterwards, Ghomeshi would seem to become nervous and made efforts to normalize things. One woman said he showed up at her home in tears. He sent friendly, flattering emails, and sometimes they would respond in kind. Once this record of amicable contact was established, he would stop responding to their messages. Some chased after him with solicitous emails.”

As the trial has gone on, I’ve watched women engage with a nervous, more morbid fascination. Usually it’s women who have a history of sexual abuse and victimization seeking a crude homeopathic dose attempting to cure themselves. I’ve heard firsthand just how enthralled they are. You see, they’ve not yet reconciled, or cured, that side of their victimized selves and they find the proceedings bringing up old, unresolved traumas where they suffered instances of the same abuse, it is the sad plight of the Staphysagria state of mind.

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Jeff Korentayer and I are working on a new book together. The working title is, “Materia Medica Arcana of Staphysagria : Ending the Victimization Cycle”. It will be published soon – find out more here.

 

My Passionflower In The Present Looks Back At The Cancerous Daffodil Of My Past

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Recently re-fitting out my first book, The Path To Cure, as a new audio book for a podcast was a ginormous 18 month long project. Jeff asked me to write a brand new intro to every chapter being revealed to a brand new audience weekly. As a result, I had to relive every one of my words written, wrought with so much pain and suffering from the past. For this month’s newsletter theme on Cancer, I chose to decorate the banner with the passion flower instead of the daffodil. Perhaps below, and in our blogs contained herein, you’ll understand the dynamic reason for this.

The truth is that what you’re destined to be is buried like a passionflower seed in your loins and to fully actuate your passion means first finding your individual seed, discerning what it means, and then providing the conditions ripe for it to grow. Think about what you’ve engaged with in life where you truly lose all track of time. If you still can’t figure it out, pick up Boni Lonsburry’s book, The Map to a Responsive Universe Where Dreams Really Do Come True.

Boni acknowledges that while not everyone knows what they want to be, she correctly cites that everyone knows how they want to feel. By holding the charge of feeling and tossing over board your beliefs that you’re value is not great enough to receive such abundance, you can create the circumstances ripe for what you feel ordained to be. Your passionflower will begin to self-actuate and seemingly random opportunities will start to crystallize.

Cancer grows in an environment devoid of heat (resonant sex), oxygen (principled recreation) and love (true desire function). The opposite is the recipe for a fully orgasmic life!

Sugar and chocolate are suppressive and a function of an oral block. She just can’t get the sweet passion out of life!  Eating sugar and chocolate is really a sad attempt to garner the sweetness from life externally instead of through primary drives internally. You’re not wholly expressing your feelings to yourself, or others in your life, or fully actualizing your love function (your passion) through to a full fruition (the fruit itself).  You have to have juicy sex with the whole of your world.

A primary drive as per full actualization is feeling so connected to your love function that you make no excuses to create what you love confidently and share it with the world unabashedly. This God-imbued talent or gift is hidden in your generative capacity and as you go through Heilkunst treatment, it will get harder and harder to suppress it.  Your passion flower can not be suppressed long-term without symptoms.

Don’t be surprised if you suddenly start doodling while on the phone, or magically waking up with whole poems written in your head, or feel driven to teach others how to ferment their own foods, sew baby’s clothing and sell them, coach a fellow mom at her birth, or suddenly pick up a musical instrument, dance, sing, teach, research or become an astronaut. These are just examples I’m thinking of from specific patients I’ve served.

Perhaps this year, you’re poised to find the man or woman of your dreams to have the kind of spiritual and romantic sex that you’ve always dreamed of. Don’t ever settle for anything less, as the Cancer state of mind will reduce your bar, sublimating your true desire function into watching television, eating non-resonant junk foods, doing things for family members to the exclusion of yourself more out of obligation than love or working that tortuous 9-5 desk job in that 10 x 12 cubicle with the daily 3 hour commute.

Cancer is a state of mind defined as the disease of resignation.  You’ll hear her say things like, “Well, if I don’t do it, no one else will. And certainly no one can do it as well as me.”  They’re exhausted, burnt out.  When you listen to them, your internal pathetic meter will be activated.  I know, as I used to provoke this response in others.  Due to my lack of inner guidance system, folks would happily step up to take over and tell me precisely their agenda and how I’d want to come along.

Cancer loves a false authority which is why I gravitated to false patriarchal constructs like Judaism and also worked for the Government. If someone asked me how I was, I put my child in front of me like a mascot for my un-lived life.  The truth was, I didn’t really know.  I was just that pathetic an I ended up with an inch and a half round tumour in my left breast as an emblem of how I was devoid of self-nurturing and a real sense of my self.

Let us know if you feel you’re suffering the same and we’ll provide you with the therapeutic keys to harness your own passion flower.  We all deserve to wholly self-actualize.  I should know … and, oh baby, I do.  It’s why I stepped up onto “The Path to Cure.”