Let’s talk about the difficult topic of those taking antidepressant drugs (ADs), in particular the Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs) and the emergence or worsening of suicidal ideation in “vulnerable patients.” However, it is still suggested that you use these drugs anyway?! Across the globe, ADs, especially SSRIs, are among the most commonly prescribed medications.
We’ve treated many folks suffering feelings of suicide. I actually think it’s a big reason why I came to Heilkunst Medicine in the first place, as my own mother had committed suicide, and I had fear that it would be a disease matrix that might show up in my own kids. I wanted that predisposition annihilated.
That was over 20 years ago and I’m happy to say that I’ve by far outlived both my parents, and life couldn’t be more pleasurable and full of meaning and purpose for me. Using Heilkunst principles to resolve this tendency for ourselves and others has been very rewarding.
By addressing the root cause, one no longer needs to manage with drugs. Yes, I’m sure you’re wondering about unbalanced brain chemistry, however, this is the level at which we’re referring. Brain chemistry can shift when you remove the blockages to cure on the sound basis of the law of nature, ‘like cures like’.
I know this because, clinically, I’ve seen tendencies like OCD, autism, schizophrenia and manic depression addressed consistently with Heilkunst Principles. I’ve also seen the reports of our patients who’ve confirmed these qualitative shifts with the endocrinologist, the NDs, the energy workers, and the live blood analysts, over the last 20 years.
If you’re interested in exploring more about the tonic roots for these conditions, you can read our blog article on the Syphilitic Genetic Miasm. This will enable you to make the link to one of our chief homeopathic remedies for suicidal ideation. It’s the image of insidious self-destructive tendencies including wanting to make an early departure from this life.
We want you to know that you’re not alone. We’ve all faced the dark nights of our own soul and that we too had to rely on this system of medicine, that causes no harm. We all deserve to make our way to home to our levity, to bask in our inner light.
I used to suffer food cravings, too. After a day full of serving patients and my family, I used to finally sit down (well after the sun had gone down) and enjoy a morsel of dark chocolate. Often times, it was well beyond a morsel!
It was like a negative spiral as then I’d have trouble sleeping or be up a time or two to urinate in the night which did not help my feeling of being rested the next day. I was stuck in a loop of need without emotional fulfillment.
The bottom line was that the more I needed the chocolate, the less I felt rested. I was living to eat, not eating to live.
The Cancer state of mind actually craves chocolate. In fact, stay out of their way when they’re en route to their fix, as they’ll slay dragons bare handed to get it. Sound familiar?
The Cancer state of mind is one where you rescue others to the exclusion of self, are living the unlived life, and are feeling resigned that this is your fate from here on in. That was my story too. The chocolate gave me a tiny illusion, just for the moment that this wasn’t true.
It seemed like much more energy to resolve my plight outright than I had. I knew more fats would help, I also knew more tender acts of self-love and fulfillment were also key. But where to start?
That is when I took a dose of Carcinosin and Chocolatum and made a list of what I needed more of in my life. I went after “the feeling.” If I was going to do this thing called life, long-term, how would I imagine a better state of grace for myself?
Well the answer to this has spanned many blogs, a couple of books, and a decade. Give us a call as we’re happy to share the answers we found with you, verbally, based on your own struggles. It’s what we do for our patients, but not to the exclusion of having solved it for ourselves first. Are you ready?
Are you ready to reveal your healthy self for spring? This month we’re looking at the states of mind and the NSOL remedies we prescribe for your timeline events, and also in your Emotional Support Droppers you receive at your initial consultation. In the sound principles of Heilkunst, the diagnosis is wholly linked directly to the cure. The letters stand for the homeopathic remedies Natrum Muriaticum, Staphysagria, Opium, and Lachesis, which correspond directly to states of grief, anger, fear and guilt (shame and resentment).
In allopathic medicine you might be prescribed an antidepressant for the emotional states above, which actually is antithetical to cure. Anti literally means “against” – the depressant being suppressive as opposed to curative. If you take the allopathic (literally “other suffering”) drug away, the symptoms are still underneath. In effect, you now have two diseases; the original disease and now the Iatrogenic (Pharma induced disease) one too.
Spring is a wonderful time to detox both physically and emotionally using homeopathics (literally “similar suffering”). What’s been long buried under the snow or through suppression can now be revealed in the light of day and cleansed, as the warmth of the sun holds us through our process. It’s a coming out party to your authentic self! The resources of herbs return to grow in the long dormant earth, renewed with vigour and nourishment to cleanse our organs of toxicity and anger.
Depending on your specific needs, we can design a physical and emotional cleanse that is just right for you. It has very little to do with the return of bikini season and more about your integrity of spirit housed in your healthy, whole body. We’re ready when you are!
The reason being surmised is that the frosty weather, time off over the holidays and the urge to merge just seems to take us when we’re not working so hard at our day jobs. Perhaps we get a little free babysitting thrown into the mix, with extended family, and the next thing we know, we’re due in late August or September.
Our blogs are focused this month on “The Pill” and also “Where Do Babies Come From.” You may be surprised that there’s a new thing or two to learn since grade 10 health class. We aim to bring you the latest truths that often exploit the party line on health and sexuality.
Jeff and I are getting ready to head over to Cancun early February to spend some time seaside with our son Jordan. He’s flying down to meet us from Ottawa and we’re excited to take him snorkeling in Puerto Morelos, the second largest barrier reef in the world. We also want to show him the spawning centre for sea turtles on Isla Mujeres.
Cozumel has a handmade chocolate factory that we love and the hot chili chocolate is mindblowing. We will rent a ragtop beetle from another era … okay from when I was a kid and tour the island. There’s a restaurant with mind-blowing ceviche and you can wiggle your toes in the sand while eating and watching the waves crash on the shore. I love to swim there after a late lunch.
Our hope is that you’re all keeping warm, or perhaps escaping to a hotter spot, too, this Winter. Either way, if you’re due in September, we’ll know that you created your own heat wherever you are.
All of us are under stress. Regularly we can suffer feelings of disappointment, frustration, anxiety, and guilt. It’s pretty much a function of being alive just as having air in our lungs and a beating heart in our chest. The NSOL combination is designed to mitigate these stronger feelings and reactions.
At Arcanum Wholistic Clinic, we supply our patients with supportive dropper bottles (and timeline remedies) to help lap away at both emotional and physical distortions as a preventative measure. These are generally prescribed on a daily basis in your NSOL (Emotional Support Dropper Bottle) with instructions to sip on as needed in your water to help mitigate issues as they present in your daily life.
This is a big part of the ‘wholistic’ aspect of your treatment plan, as you go through sequential therapy using Heilkunst principles. NSOL addresses the most common emotions that we can experience regularly as human beings, that can skew our healthy life experience. Sometimes these emotions are also more intense during the healing reactions of certain timeline events.
This remedy helps to also soften and release of any of these accumulated feelings, in addition to events that occur in the present, making it easier for the individual to bear the emotional load more expediently, by speeding healing. The secondary action of this combination helps to mobilize these strong feelings for release on the curative law of nature, “like cures like”, which is homeopathic law; preventing more trauma from being incurred in the present.
Here’s the breakdown to each rx in our NSOL combo and the links for you to read about each remedy separately if you wish:
S – Staphysagria is for frustration, anger, humiliation, betrayal, and feelings of being victimized.
O – Opium * or Papaver is for feelings of fear, anxiety, and lack of initiative.
L – Lachesis is for guilt, shame, resentment (violations of trust) and jealousy.
It is important to note that by taking your emotional support dropper with “NSOL”, you won’t become numb or complacent to life; they don’t stop you from feeling the richness of life’s offerings. The height and breadth of feeling will remain intact. However, folks often tell us that they have better dominion and choice over how they want to act on those feelings after having the remedy at hand.
We also hear from our clients that the remedies have helped them to burn off much of the past grief, anger, fear, guilt, and resentment so that reacting to issues in the present feels more appropriate to the moment, instead of dredging up a myriad of unresolved content from their lives. Internally, they become more self-reliant and emotionally stable, an internal beacon to one’s own self. We know this ourselves to be true as NSOL offers a kind of liberty to be able to discern how we want to react in the present without all the historical baggage.
*Note: Just a reminder that no remedy has chemical residue from any of these bio-energetic remedies. If they were sent off to a chemist’s lab, they’d deem them “placebo.” We know that the high attenuations are actually effective, which speaks to the millions of patients worldwide seeking homeopathic treatment.
We’re all trying to balance so much! Often times, it’s not just the business, home life and kids to keep organized, and on a schedule, often times we’re having to be responsible for the collective consciousness for the entire household. Consider how often you’re asked, “Ok, so what’s next?”. Or “You should have just asked me to do that and I would have gladly helped you out.”
So many women I serve, and some men too, will cite extreme exhaustion. Not only for the actual tasks they perform at the office or at home, but because they also feel like the CEO of operations. This unexpected job description often surprises us out of nowhere. Who put me in charge anyway? Where was that written? How do I exit this role without the whole damn ship sinking?
How did the job of knowing what’s next fall on me? I’d never asked my husband, “What’s next?” in over a dozen years of marriage. How is it that as a reasonably intelligent woman I always felt my corpus callosum log-jammed every time? Perhaps my lesson was to learn how to engage with my own instincts and activities, leaving intellectual management to other individuals. That, actually would make sense.
In those moments, I definitely know I could use help. The first thing would be to take the task-manager role off my shoulders. When was this bestowed on me? Please supply a two page answer single spaced while I dress this roast of bison and finish prepping the potatoes. Perhaps you’ve lived this too.
While the offer to help is, in itself, an act of generosity, it can annoy the living daylights out of a Mom in a Sepia state. How many CEO’s of multinational companies can think on the spot of the detailed activities to be executed by a worker who barges into his office while he’s on the phone and also in the midst of forecasting the budget for the next annum? You see it, right? It doesn’t happen. At the very least, you make an appointment or see a more junior manager. Perhaps your spouse might ask one of the kids. Ah, not a bad idea, a kid will always tell you precisely what to do to serve them.
I recall feeling totally burnt out in the early stages of my marriage. In fact, I had the feeling that if one more person asked me what they could do, I might run my laser eyes clear through their guts while launching enough swear words at them to burn off their eyebrows. They’d grow back, right?!
I once recall trying to prepare supper while nursing an infant on the breast, with a toddler pulling all the pots and pans out on the floor, stirring a pot of rice pasta with the phone in one ear speaking to the guy rescheduling to come service the dishwasher who I had stayed home all day waiting for. It was a Friday.
At that moment, my husband walks into the kitchen having just arrived home from the office, and wants to know what he can do. The first answer that popped up to the fore is, “no clue” and then, “isn’t it obvious?” or to silently turn back and offer a tear of frustration into the pasta. This gesture alone can create a ton of animosity and then spouses wonder why dinner conversation is a little stunted and the weekly sex is dwindling.
I spent years stuffing my feelings down and taking Sepia regularly until my breast finally swelled with a 1.5 inch tumour. Among this, and other dynamics, I’d say this phenomenon cost us the marriage. It wasn’t until these very same issues started to crop up in my second marriage that I began to “get it”. The whole family plumbed solutions to help relieve me of the burden of doer and decision-maker. At the time, I was running a household, half a business, part of the farm, a kids’ camp (in the summer), writing a book and doing postgraduate research. Brutal, I know!
The summation of this post is that we finally did solve it with some creative problem solving. It took a team effort, but you can read that article here.
Cancer is a having a predisposition for undischarged grief, feelings of rescuing others to the exclusion of self and the un-lived life. Their secret, hidden, agenda is that if I help rescue enough folks (children, spouse, friends etc.) eventually they’ll rescue me back. However, they become increasingly angry when this does not happen, as the codependency just perpetuates.
To solve it, outright, you need not just mop up the toxicity (tumors, cysts, t-bacilli cells) on the physical level, but also address the state of mind that created the conditions ripe for its “infectious” nature in the first place. This is why folks who’ve contracted cancer and have it removed with surgery, treated with radiation or chemo generally have a recurrence of the same disease matrix 3-4 years after.
If I open the pages of Michael J. Lincoln’s book, “Messages From The Body” and review the reasons for contracting Cancer, you will clearly see that the physical manifestation is only part of the story. In fact until you’ve addressed this state of mind, the “Cancer” hasn’t really gone anywhere:
Cancer – “Powerlessness-rage.” They feel overwhelmed and devastated, with a sense of intense emptiness in their life. There has been many years of inner conflict, guilt, hurt, grief, despair, resentment, confusion and/or tension surrounding their deepest personal issues. It is connected with feelings of hopelessness, inadequacy, helplessness and self-rejection. They see no possibility of relevance or effectiveness from the Cosmic realm. They have disharmonious attitudes towards parts of themselves that they don’t want to deal with.”
To learn more about this disease matrix, and how to be proactive for yourself and your children, click on this link to read more May 2017 Newsletter. Our goal is to prevent the incidence of this Spring Genetic Miasm in as many folks as possible.
Contemplation or meditation is about developing the sight of God. It can’t be termed anything else. When we speak of “seeing” as a bodily organ, we are more often alluding to perception or proprioception, discerning the essence of a thing.
When I looked at the sunset in this image , above, I heard the sound of the waves and felt my bare feet in the black volcanic sand. I aimed my camera west at the cascading light of the mountains that surrounded Puerto Vallarta. I also felt culture shock. The image brings back that feeling of thawing from the cold, wet, rain of the west. I drove thousands of kilometres to arrive at the taking of this image that thawed my feelings of shock. When I put on my proprioceptive goggles, I might have discerned some feelings of grief and fear that were in me and in the image. You might relate to that image similarly, sensing my mood at the time or perhaps conjuring up a time when you felt similar feelings.
Vision or being “sighted” has so much less to do with “seeing” than it does with an epistemological event swathed with feelings that are soaked with impressions (feelings, functions and sensations) sourced both from inside and outside our bodies. Reality, as it lives in me, and in you, can be subjective (as in Kantian terms.) We can actually begin to develop an objective science of sight, so to speak, and render those sensed impressions into to a science of spirit: Rudolf Steiner’s epistemology.
In essence, this is the arm of Heilkunst; termed Anthroposophical Science; or the study of man. When we achieve unicity between God and man through our“soul seeing,” we can begin to sort out what is a function of disease and what is health. We can see or more accurately apperceive, discern and diagnose, based on certain qualities of feelings, functions and sensations (the Physician’s response)- trusting more in our inner soul’s function to “see” and apprehend phenomena.
This is why, as Heilkünstlers, we have no issues working with patients by phone. Our organs have been honed over the last twenty years to be able to “see” with all our faculties – not just with our eyes. A change in tone, a sudden in breath, a pause, or even a swallow inserted at the right time will enable us to perceive what we can not see. It feels like a transcendental meditation, adopting the spiritual sight, a departure from ordinary cognition.
In essence, your soul wants my soul to obtain the truth about you, so that you can be whole. It reaches out to me through nuances in symptoms so refined at times that you may not even be consciously aware of them . The soul is entirely intact, and it’s job is to push discrepancies out into our midst so they can be fully apprehended – their meaning sucked clean from the bone and annihilated. For us, this is the functional nature of the “seeing” phenomena for proper discernment.
Rudolf Steiner states, “Just as in the body, eye and ear develop as organs of perception, as senses for bodily processes, so does a man develop in himself soul and spiritual organs of perception through which the soul and spiritual worlds are opened to him. For those who do not have such higher senses, these worlds are dark and silent, just as the bodily world is dark and silent for a being without eyes and ears.”
In this month’s articles, we speak about eyes and the meaning behind the “ocular” block as per Dr. Wilhelm Reich. Why don’t you take a look and see if you can wholly apprehend the phenomena around the meaning behind “pink eye” and why we don’t always use our eyes to “see” – when we are trying to avoid engaging with something in our lives.
Conjunctivitis is an infection of the conjunctiva, the mucous membrane that covers the front of the eye and lines the inside of the eyelids. Conjunctivitis is popularly known as ‘pinkeye’ and can be triggered by a cold or an allergy; but if we dig a little deeper we can discern the other sources of irritation in the eye; for example, the emotional root.
As with every physical symptom, there is an emotional etiology. Pink eye is no exception. A condition is not entirely remedied until it is addressed on the mental sphere, not just on the physical level. The meaning is behind it’s expression or you risk a cyclical reinfection. Those that manifest pink eye symptoms will be suppressing the following state of mind as per Michael J. Lincoln’s book, “Messages From The Body.”
EYE PROBLEMS IN CHILDREN
“I don’t wanna know!” They are harm-alarmed about what is happening in their family. They are afraid of the implications and ramifications, and they are tending to use their imagination to conjure up the worst-case scenario. They are not wanting to see what is going on in the family and in their life, because it’s too overwhelming for them. It occurs when there are chronic or situational stresses happening in their family.
“Right and righteous.” They are engaged in an outraged indignation stance of anger and frustration with the “moral cretins” around them. They are not wanting to see what is happening around them. Underneath all this approach is a deeply disturbing questioning of their self-worth. They are the product of wrong-making and judgmental parenting.
RIGHT: “Outraged.” They have a lot of rage at the state of the world.
LEFT: “Fed up.” They are enraged at how they are being treated by the world.
In Rudolf Steiner (1861-1925) and Ida Wegman’s book, “Extending Practical Medicine: Fundamental principles based on the Science of the Spirit Anthroposophy” we learn that the eye actually isn’t “seeing” it is a camera. In fact, the brain isn’t seeing in a pure sense. The eye is truly the mirror of the soul, and it is in the soul that we take images and apperceive consciously that which the eye has captured.
Steiner knew adroitly that real freedom can only be obtained through individual spiritual development, gained through scientific study of the spiritual nature of humanity and the universe. He showed that such a path could inspire many cultural innovations in areas such as education, agriculture, medicine, architecture, science and the arts, which are still relevant and progressing today.
In the book, “Managing Screen Time: Raising Balanced Children in the Digital Age” by Edmond Schoorel: “We learn that when we look at something in everyday life, both eyes focus on a single point. In front of a flat screen this cannot be done. In order to absorb the images, the eyes automatically lose their focus and the optical axes assume a parallel position. This is the cause of the typical TV stare. The intentional look that focuses on something in the real world or on a picture is replaced by a way of looking that is determined by the moving image. It is a look without intention.”
Our own Jeff Korentayer wrote at length on the armoring of the ocular block, as per Dr. Wilhem Reich a German Psychotherapist who went on to suss out how the ocular block plays out in one’s character analysis, in his blog post with the same name here (insert link: http://arcanum.ca/2012/09/03/heilkunst-basics-university-3rd-year-armoring-of-the-ocular-segment/) He describes the ocular block also as having a degree of dissociation, “Emotionally, as I’ve mentioned, there is some degree of dissociation, or lack of contact with life and reality.” Reich termed this “contactlessness.”
Now for the Homeopathic Remedies and Bach Flower Essences to consider for the ocular block as per our senior Heilkünstler here at Arcanum Wholistic Clinic, Jeff Korentayer: “In terms of remedies to consider, Opium is useful for the aspect of dissociation, when someone seems to be living in another world. Ruta Grav is useful when there is chronic strain to the eyes, such as working long hours staring at a computer screen. Gelsemium can help when there is a tired, droopy appearance to the eyes. The Bach Flower Remedy Clematis may also be useful for that dreamy, disconnection from reality state. Also, Chestnut Bud may be appropriate where an ocular block has prevented someone from gaining insight from their life lessons and end up repeating the same mistakes over and over. The homeopathic remedy Cannabis Indica is also strongly related to this theme of the ocular blockage, in terms of a dissociation or split from reality. The same is true in various ways of all of the ideogenic remedies.”
One of our chief homeopathic remedies specifically used for Pink Eye is Pulsatilla. Now that you have all the knowledge regarding the dissociative nature of the sufferer, take a look at the physical and mental emotional aspects of Pulsatilla in Dr. Clarke’s Materia Medica. Puls is dying for emotional connection and will whine, cry and be beyond needy if her needs aren’t being met. Over time, if they’re denied their primal needs, they will start the psychological process of disassociating to cope. Pink Eye is an emblem for this deeper phenomenon:
Eyes.?Affections in general appearing on the cornea; margins of the eyelids; dim-sightedness, with a sensation as though there were something over the eye which the patient wishes to rub away; amaurosis; cataract.?Pain in eyes as if scratched with a knife.?Burning sensation, pressive pain as if caused by sand; or sharp or shooting pain in eyes, or else boring and incisive pain.?Burning itching in eyes, chiefly in evening (inducing rubbing and scratching).?Inflammation in eyes and margins of lids (and meibomian glands), with redness of the sclerotica and conjunctiva, and copious secretion of (thick) mucus (and nightly agglutination).?Swelling and redness of eyelids.?Trichiasis in eyelid.?Styes, esp. on upper lid.?Crystalline lens clouded and of a greyish color.?Stye with inflammation of sclerotica, and tensive drawing pains on moving the muscles of the face.?Dryness of eyes and lids, esp. during sleep.?Profuse lachrymation, principally in the wind, as well as in open air, in the cold, and in clear, bright daylight.?Acrid and corrosive tears.?Abscess near angle of eye, like a lachrymal fistula (discharging pus on pressing it).?Nocturnal agglutination of lids.?Pupils contracted or dilated.?Amaurosis; paralysis of optic nerve.?Look fixed and stupid.?Dimness of sight, esp. or, getting warm from exercise.?Cloudiness of eyes and loss of sight, sometimes with paleness of face and inclination to vomit; (all objects present a sickly hue).?Loss of sight in twilight, with sensation as if eyes were covered with a band.?Sight confused, as if directed through a mist, or as if caused by something removable by rubbing, principally in open air, in evening, in morning, or on waking.?Incipient cataract.?Diplopia.?Luminous circles before eyes, and diffusion of light of candles.?Great sensibility of eyes to light, which causes lancinating pains (and in sunshine).
Mind.?[This remedy is particularly applicable for complaints which are found to occur in patients of a mild, yielding, or good-natured disposition; also in those who by, their sickness, or naturally, are very easily excited to tears?they are very apt to burst into tears whenever spoken to, or when they attempt to speak, as in giving their symptoms, &c.?Affections of the mind in general; covetous; mistrustful; absent-minded; low-spirited (H. N. G.)] Melancholy with sadness, tears, great uneasiness respecting one’s affairs or about the health; fear of death (tremulous anguish, as if death were near), care and grief.?Involuntary laughter and weeping.?Great anguish and inquietude, mostly in precordial region, sometimes with inclination to commit suicide, palpitation of heart, heat, and necessity to loosen the dress, trembling of hands, and inclination to vomit.?Fits of anxiety, with fear of death, or of an apoplectic attack, with buzzing in ears, shiverings, and convulsive movements of fingers.?Apprehension, anthropophobia, fear of ghosts at night or in evening, with an impulse to hide or to run away, mistrust and suspicion.?Covetousness.?Taciturn madness; with sullen, cold, and wandering air, sighs, often seated with the hands joined, but without uttering any complaint.?Despair of eternal happiness, with continual praying.?Discouragement, indecision, dread of occupation, and obstructed respiration.?Disposition envious, discontented, and covetous, exhibiting itself in a wish to appropriate everything.?Caprice, with desire at one time for one thing, at another time for something else, either being rejected as soon as obtained.?Hysterical laughter after meals.?Hypochondriacal humour and moroseness, < evening, often with repugnance to conversation, great sensitiveness, choleric disposition, cries, and weeping.?Ill-humour, sometimes with a dread of labour, and disgust or contempt for everything.?Inadvertence, precipitation, and absence of mind.?Difficulty in expressing thoughts correctly when speaking, and tendency to omit letters when writing.?Giddiness; patient neither knows where he is nor what he does.?Great flow of very changeful ideas.?Nocturnal raving; violent delirium and loss of consciousness.?Frightful visions.?Weakness of memory.?Fixed ideas.?Stupidity.
The last aspect to be addressed is the family dynamic. Why is the child suffering dissociation? If the parents aren’t able to fill the need for connection in the child, then why? Where have their needs been compromised? What do they need to fully actualize this primal longing to solve their own ocular block?
Connection through the eyes begins at birth. Healthy babes who are born in a serene, relaxed environment without the insult of eye drops will look for their Momma, crawl to the breast up our tummies and latch on to our breast; making eye contact from moments after birth. Skin to skin warmth and the way our Mom returns that look of connection becomes the foundations for a healthy life of ensouled apperception.
We will come to know, in deeper gnostic terms, a safety, love, care, desire, and true container for our healthy unfolding. This is the launch pad for our wholeness and grace, our anchor to our ALL, the wisdom of our philo-sophia from which to explore our world by tiny increment. If Mom turns away with guilt (insert blog on Lachesis here) or she’s overwrought with other responsibilities (insert blog on Sepia here) she will feel unavailable to the baby.
Our job as Doctors of Heilkunst is to plumb the depths of the whole phenomenon, leaving no therapeutic rock unturned. Otherwise we miss a Divine opportunity to resolve the essence of our human suffering. We’re well beyond just throwing an allopathic medicine at the symptoms. We deserve so much more than that.
When the kids were still at home, we had a couple of systems that worked well as we had two busy practices, both of us were doing postgraduate research and we had a farm to also run. Basic stuff had to get done, but I was unwilling to be the sacrificial lady lamb in the equation. Jeff, also, would not allow this to happen to me, either, so we developed some basic systems.
Every week we had a white board on the fridge and the four of us would divvy up the chores to be done that week, listed for each day. We also had laundry-folding parties where everyone would meet in the living room, the clean laundry spilt out of the baskets onto the floor and then everyone would help sort by pitching undies, shirts, pants etc. at each other until it all got distributed. Great hand-eye coordination and memory work with this one! Each person had their own basket to fold (or gather) their clean clothes into and then put them away in their drawers or closet.
If the kids needed help, they would ask as we buddied up when one child was smaller and more challenged with the task at hand, but they were generally part of the sorting party by the time they were 4 and running the washer and dryer by 12. Sometimes their clean clothes lived in that basket until they got to the bottom, but it had to be kept in their closet. It was their choice as long as it was “put away.”
The other thing that helped a lot is that we had a shared grocery/general shopping list app on our phones divided into categories like “market,” “grocery store” or “hardware store.” If stuff needed to get on the list, like ‘cheese’, the child had to use our phones to load it on there or it wouldn’t get bought. Over time, they both got better at spelling these items … but often either Jeff or I would be standing in the grocery aisle laughing ourselves silly as Jordan got good at writing items like, “monkey balls” or “penis pickles.”
When they were in their teens, they had the same shared list on their own phones and then when they drove, they also did the groceries. Yay! We helped to grow them into these shared roles from the time that they were little. They were also taught how to manage bills, make payments, and budget accordingly. Now, we’re showing them how to invest in ways that yield solid returns.
The idea was/is to make it fun, there was always some joking around, and the burden was never all on my shoulders to be the Queen-pin of our domestic operations. We also divvied up the cooking and everyone took a night or two preparing supper for the family. We ate a lot of the same things and our crock pot got a lot of use. Sundays, we’d get some music on, Adie would often bake (her Scottish shortbreads are to die for), I’d prepare one meal, Jeff another and Jordan would be designated sous chef or dishwasher. The key was that we worked together at all of it … including mucking out the stalls in the barn. It built a sense of teamwork and belonging. A dull knife and a carrot can keep a toddler busy for quite awhile!
In our practice, we see a lot of women chronically in a Sepia state (the careworn mother) or Cancer state of mind (rescuing others to the exclusion of self). It is important to activate the health and well-being of our essential selves so as not to default to this program often wrought by our fore-mothers. Trying to work full-time and/or homeschool and then also deal with all of the responsibilities of hearth and home (or farm) can start out as protracted stress and then become, over time, Sepia or Cancer states qualifying you for more aggressive treatments. Is it time to wake from your resignation?
Here’s the original article, by Lisa Wade, that this blog was inspired by ….