I recently outlined how our love function metamorphoses up through our four bodies, and how this is a key factor for assessing where we are in our health. Looking at the love function of agape, which relates to our ontic organization, one of the challenges which we typically have to face over and over through life is of “letting go”.
One area where we especially trip over this challenge is in our role as parents. Much is demanded of a parent, and much is generally given to meet these demands. The challenge of letting go comes up particularly to the degree that we hold the belief that we need to be in charge of our child’s destiny. That’s one thing we definitely don’t have dominion over, but this often does not translate fully into the mind of the parent, who mistakes subjective love for this higher form of agape love, which requires letting go.
I remember at various points when my step-kids were quite young in arriving at these points of letting go, as I realized that their talents and interests would not and should not be the same as mine. Parenting is not about creating a “chip off the old block” (which is a world without ontic or individuality), but more like functioning as a platform from which the child can take off into their own unfolding.
I’ve seen many variations of this challenge for parents letting go in the clinic, including seeing how parents and their children suffer from their own highly controlling behaviours, or when they otherwise feel that their child is not properly “conforming” to the outer expectations of school or society. This challenge will grow larger, as we continue to develop the capacity of our individuality through developing this ontic organization.