There is often a common theme in Autism Spectrum children that is missed — that is, the resonance, romance and love between the parents as a couple. In a high number of cases we serve, the Autistic child becomes the “pet project,” more specifically for the mother, making the child the more alpha relationship in their lives. This misplaced focal point is often to the serious detriment of the partnership. Very often, the Father will describe feeling reduced more to a “donor” than a lover or husband, a second class citizen in the whole family matrix.
The reason, mostly, for this can be that we Mothers are the ones to have taken the child to the Paediatrician in the first place where the vaccine injury first occurred. We’re the ones that innocently allowed ourselves to be coerced into having those oh so damaging shots. It’s our fault!
So like the dutiful and guilt-ridden beings we are, it’s now our job to fix it. This can takes days, weeks and even years of research. I know as my attitude was, as my son’s Autism momma bear, I would not rest until I fixed this thing that I had seriously broke. My life became a perpetual confession of Autism damage shame.
I, like other Autism parents, created a sympathetic storming that my intellect felt helped to discharge the guilt, but it never did. It was like every practitioner I tried, was the hope that I’d be alleviating just a little bit more of the life-long mortgage of guilt. These payments in time, energy and money levied for having caused this diabolical nightmare to my son was an attempt to discharge a much bigger load … my hate.
The game became, “How to let go and relax into love and romance when my whole autonomic nervous system was in fright flight.” I on high alert and all I secretly wanted more than anything was for some sweet, knowledgeable Prince to appear on a fine white steed with the answers and rescue me and my child from this dungeon prison. When his Father only added to the confusion, he often became the target of my hate and confusion. As the man, wasn’t he supposed to rescue us from our plight?!
The sad part is that if you’re not properly discharging through the orgasm function, as a couple, the rage is building in your own organism. You will be caught in a loop of guilt, grief, fear and hate otherwise termed medically as sympathetic storming, burning out your adrenal glands over time.
In truth, if you think about it, it is a type of stimming. As you no doubt have already suspected, this dynamic is worsening the behaviours in your child. I know, I know, now I’ve just piled one more thing for you to feel guilty about on top of everything else. Try and hear me out as I will help you find your Prince and the route out, but you will need to know what you’re dealing with first. Try to hang on for a sec. while I explain.
Way back, before I fully actualized myself through full orgastic potency (The Fountain of Youth) I’d became this crazed, self-blaming, condemned/condemning, woman hell-bent on fixing Jordan’s issues as a means to attempting to rescue myself from my own neurotic (stimming) plight. It was a recipe for disaster! I was not properly threaded through my own sexual function and was suffering my own chronic diseases (cancer, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, psoriasis, hypoglycaemia, etc.) as a result.
No capacity for orgasm means islets of organization or what we term in psychological terms as stasis neurosis. The inch and a half tumour in my left breast (feminine side, the right being more masculine) represented my stasis, a collection of matter, an islet of unexpressed toxicity. Breasts are emblems of self-nurturing, or lack there of.
The problem was that by making Jordan the alpha-pup in the family matrix, instead of my intimate relationship with his Father, I was jumping the queue with regards to natural love and grace. We all know what happens if a human being makes a dog the alpha relationship in the home. They will start chasing their own tail, smearing (or eating) their own stool, scooting with parasites (parasites victimize hosts due to undischarged anger), and acting aggressively. Sound familiar? Watch reruns of Cesar Milan if you’re not sure of what I’m suggesting here.
I bet you’re scratching your head in wonder around this phenomenon and asking yourself why. While I’d love nothing more to discuss this with you after you’ve read my second book, “Unfolding The Essential Self; From Rage to Orgastic potency”, or to spend days lecturing about these relationship dynamics, here’s a short version of the reason: Basically, the model of healthy family dynamics must be upheld for children to naturally unfold their essential selves.
We hold the healthy container for them but if we’re constantly losing our own #$%^ due to rage, we can’t really be wholly available to them, ourselves or our spouse. (See also Bert Hellinger’s work on family constellations). We also need love, affection, attention and nurturing that we trust, and have faith in, to help us relax and unfold into healthy humans otherwise we turn to secondary drives like shopping, modalities of treatment, video games, gambling, drinking pornography etc. to try and discharge the accumulated hate and anger.
A child needs to know that they are the result of a loving, intimate, sexually potent, and fully generative union. It is a vessel, a chamber that creates safety, equilibrium, ease, grace and the natural capacity to unfuld their natural selves within. What happens a lot in Spectrum kids is that this fully bonded and unified front breaks down and the child becomes the object of all the mother’s affection, fears, and misplaced and broken sexuality (skewed Oedipal complex). It is a projection of the crippled relationship with the spouse and it is part of what needs to be addressed in Heilkunst treatment.
I know because this dynamic shows up in the relationship of the patient’s I serve, a lot. It is also why many of these hobbled relationships in the cases of Autistic children often don’t last before we get to them. While the divorce rate in families with healthy parents average about 13 percent, families with Autistic kids tends to be almost double. If we’re going to be solving the Autism Matrix, we’ve got to address the root causes … all of them, including Mom and Dad’s love relationship. In Heilkunst, there is no stone left unturned.
If you’re listening to, or have read my book, The Path To Cure and recall the moment when my son Jordan peeled all of his clothes off in my Heilkünstler’s office? Can you imagine my shock when I turned around in my chair to see him standing there bare, buck naked? He’d never done anything like this before!
Do you also recall my moment of surprise and that I innocently asked my own Heilkunst Practitioner, “Um, What? Why is he completely stripped down naked?” Do you remember her reply to me? It went something like this, “Jordan will put his clothes back on when his parents relearn how to take theirs off.” I’ll never forget the feeling or the impact her words had on me that day. My life since then has been about sussing out the reason for why this was (and is) an aspect to be treated to solve the Autism Matrix outright. I’ve explored this both experientially as well as in my postgraduate research.
I know, as this was what I had to do for myself. It is also what I do for my patients as we’re working on the root cause of their child’s issues. Gut dysbiosis, detoxification, vaccine trauma, and Genetic Miasm therapy for the spectrum babe and big lovin’ on the Momma and Poppa to get them back in the game of romance and juicy intimacy.
Really, boil it down, why else are we here but to love and be loved …. not to be perpetually scared to death, living out of fright flight because Big Pharma, and our genetic predisposition, stole my child’s health. The whole Autism matrix (including Big Pharma) also preferring my head down in shame as I march my already over-stimm-ulated child to a hundred different practitioners for treatments that don’t resolve the underlying cause or the parents PTSD suffering outright.
The gut doctor, the speech pathologist, the physical therapist, the behaviour therapist, the naturotherapist, the camel’s milk therapist and the list goes on and on. We’ve heard it all. Yes, I was once caught in the “try everything” web too. Can you see how the intellect (patriarchy) shredded it’s self into a whole bunch of fragments?
You may notice how government and hospital departments are also carved up the same way, with no fundamental guiding principles or wholistic plan or approach. It’s designed to keep giving you the run around as you’ll eventually figure out, they don’t know … it’s just trial and error and while you get a little ways, the majority of symptoms come back. I know, I lived this too and wrote about all of it in my book, “The Path To Cure; The Whole Art of Healing Autism.”
This is not a coalescing wholism, it’s fragmented all over the place with no organizing idea or set of principles. Also, where’s the romance in running your kid all over Hell’s half acre? You hate it and he hates it too. I know, I hated it and my son also did too. So stop for a second and ask yourself, how can I solve this outright without killing myself, while also addressing the underlying cause using a map, a set of true, realizable principles with good proven results?
Perhaps read some of our testimonials here will cause you to relax:
Most of us don’t realized it, but the pervasive guilt we Autism parents feel is actually rage turned in on oneself as opposed to aimed at the patriarchal, Big Pharma/Government matrix that actually stole my own son’s health. When aimed appropriately, untangling our essential selves from the blame, we can get yourself properly postured at the target. Once I got my feet under me and my health back, I began writing books explaining how to resolve suffering using homeopathic and Heilkunst principles to anyone who’d listen.
If your child is severely damaged, I am sorry. My son was severely speech challenged, stimming, with no eye contact, with severe OCD and gut issues. He was still wearing a pull-up diaper at four and a half, wouldn’t let me lay him on his back, kicking, hitting and biting without mercy each time I had to change the smelly, leaking bolus. If not for Heilkunst resolving his ills, I was getting ready to look for part-time care. My own marriage was in a shambles.
Yes, even Firefighters get several days off in a week and you need the same just to recall that you’re a woman, or a man, (not a lame attempt at a full-time super hero). You also deserve to feel a whole lot of lovin’ on your romantic heart and in your bones otherwise the risk is that you become secretly suicidal. Yes, I know, you rarely admit your true feelings at your core to hardly anyone. Remember, I once lived this insidious matrix too!
Undischarged self-blame and hate becomes part of a looping OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) pattern that is so intrinsic to the same gesturing found in the Autism Spectrum. It is a form of this neurotic rerunning program that never discharges through the orgasm function that also keeps the child pinioned in his own repeating patterns. It is related! I know, because in order for my son to get better, really better, I had to look at my own fundamental issues, including the lack of love, relaxation, romance, sex and intimacy. Back then, I was barely surviving let alone able to engaging in loving!
The more neurotically I looped with the thoughts, “gotta fix this, can’t rest until I fix the damage I’ve done, gotta fix this, can’t rest until I fix the damage I’ve done …” over and over again, the more my child also gestured the same like a canary in my severely off-gassing coal mine. I write about this relationship more robustly in my first (FREE Audiobook) book, “The Path To Cure; The Whole Art of Healing Autism.”
You see as long as you’re not in your creative, generative (read sexual) seat, the more easily Big Pharma continues to go about the insidious business of poisoning people without being held accountable. It’s a stimming Catch 22. If I think I’m to blame, I won’t aim my weaponry of knowledge appropriately. As a now strong, potent, generative, self-reliant, creative and sexually empowered individual, I don’t take their perpetuating smoke and mirrors lying down.
We will not be suppressed by their lying, drugging matrix anymore. Right now, our editors have the manuscript for our next book “The Vaccination Myth.”
Resonant sex and intimacy has a natural capacity for discharging neurosis, anger, resentment, grief and fear. Dr. Wilhelm Reich called the results of this healthy communion the four beat cycle; tension, charge, discharge and relaxation. When it is not occurring with appropriate regularity, the child will feel the charge and tension loops as incomplete in their own organism, and will show up as OCD cycles — charge and then tension, charge and then tension, charge and then tension with no logical discharge or relaxation achieved.
The parents will unknowingly drive this ill-patterned dysfunction, with their own looping rage and guilt. The discharge becomes on lock-down and the tension/charge builds until the hate tries to break the dams instead of a properly directly, empowered love. Which would you rather?! Our children can only be as healthy as we are, for the most part. Where we’re limited, and feeling thwarted, they will also mirror the same gestures of trying, giving up, trying, giving up over and over again.
Once I’d discharged a goodly chunk of my own rage, through Heilkunst Medicine and the sexual function with my Beloved, I became a writing force to be reckoned with. No more was I pinioned in self-blame. I came out fighting mad and my son’s health improved as well. This is the fullest application of Heilkunst Medicine through regimen, medicine proper and therapeutic education. It’s a dynamic approach.
As a result, of gaining my essential self’s dowry, I’ve spent the last twenty years bolstering the knowledge and health of Autism Momma’s just like me. It’s why my son is whole and healthy. It’s also why we’ve written almost fifteen books on the subject of health and empowerment. There is love and romance after Autism. I know, again, because I lived it and if it is also your true desire function, you can too!
So, what does a healthy, resonant relationship look like you ask? And which pairings of homeopathic constitutional types tend to have a natural affinity for a resonant relationship? Find out by joining me in listening to chapter 14 from The Path To Cure on The Constitutions and Love.