Arnica for Bruises … as per our patient Sara T.

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Wanted to share this experience with you….
Yesterday Sam and Sonja crashed into each other while riding bikes.  (Sam was riding his friends bike and forgot it only had hand brakes….oops!).   Sam somehow landed on one of the handle bars, and it left about a 2 1/2 inch scrape down his ribs.  He was doubled over clutching himself saying he couldn’t breath!

 

 

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Once we got inside, I immediately started giving him Arnica, and continued several times throughout the evening.  He barely complained last night, and said he had a few pains by bedtime.  This morning there was ZERO bruising, and the scrape looked better too.  He said it hurts just a bit.  And I know he hit the handle bar hard…the other handle bar left a hole in the ground….(although it did rain and the ground was soft).  ZERO bruising…I’m even more impressed with homeopathy than before!!

Best of luck with packing and traveling!
Sara T.

(The children’s names have been changed for the public sharing of this article)

 

If you want to learn more about how to use homeopathic principles in first aid situations like this one at home, you can sign up to receive our on-line Bee Stings and Bruises Course here:

 

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The Band-Aid On The Elephant’s Ass Of My Life

It’s actually funny if you think about it, in the 50s and 60s we were given the image that so much of our lives would become automated that we’d all be sitting around reading magazines and nibbling on bonbons. Well, this couldn’t be further from the truth.

Given that the patriarchal powers-that-be rigged a bra burning movement, and then a debt-based economy, we’ve now got both men and women stressed to the teeth. I recall also living this way, serving the corporate machine, afraid one day that we’d both miss picking up our son on time from daycare.

It was a five day rat race and then the weekends were dedicated to cleaning a home that we barely lived in during the week, that we were mortgaged to the hilt for for the next 25 years. It was so demoralizing.

I blew my adrenals, suffered chronic fatigue, was in bed for several days every month barely able to cope on so many levels. If you got in the way of my chocolate habit, after the kids were in bed, I can’t say I’d treat you with any remotely ethical grace.

I was exhausted and it’s true that I hated my life. I felt broken physically, mentally, and emotionally by the up hill struggle of trying to slap band-aids on the elephant’s ass that I called my life. I never had the feeling that I could take anytime to do anything well.  I didn’t even know what self-care meant!

After trying to solve my son’s autism spectrum issues, I had a complete, well orchestrated, nervous break-down. I quit my ridiculously high paying consulting job and came home to write poetry for several months. My husband just about lost his elephant sized #$%^ over that escapade. I told him that I was between contracts.

I modified the whole kitchen to knock out the carbs., grains, and refined sugars. Anything white and non-organic went into the garbage. I had just started Heilkunst treatment and within those first few months, my inner value began creeping up a couple of nefarious notches.

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I started following Dr. Abravanel’s lifetime nutrition plan to help solve my glandular stress and heal my hormonal expressions that turned my Ms. Hyde into the worse Dr. Jekyll before my menses every month. It was quite the over-haul for which I’ve never gone back to my wicked ways. That was over 18 years ago now.

As a result, for this month’s newsletter, we’re going to focus our blog posts on both hormonal and glandular typology. Our hope is that if you’re as stressed out as I once was that it will be the pieces to help you get on the road to recovery.

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This afternoon, after writing all morning, I rolled over on my towel at the beach while the Caribbean Sea ebbed its lacy tide at the shore near my feet. I can’t believe that Heilkunst was so instrumental in taking me from what felt like hell on earth to now what feels like heaven. I now feel so very blessed.

Our Warmest,

Ally and Jeff

(Excerpted from May 2016 Newsletter)

P.S. To find out more about our hormonal and nutrition protocols and much more, click on the link below to receive a copy of our monthly newsletter:

 

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Ok, so you’re “broadcasting a remedy,” wait what?!

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Many of you who’ve been working with us have called in needing treatment for an acute flare-up. As you go through your traumatic timeline or Chronic Miasms, 10-15% of the time, you just don’t get through the gate clean. You get your t-shirt snagged on a nail and the next thing, you’re calling or e-mailing us looking for a leg up.

That’s what we’re here for. We’re happy to help and yes – who wouldn’t prefer to help their feverish babe back to sleep with a dose of Belladonna? It sure beats pacing back and forth with them in your arms at midnight! We hear you – we were once parents of wee ones too.

And who wants to sit in an emergency waiting room with a restless babe in arms for an indeterminate number of hours? Especially when it is most likely a healing reaction to the previous timeline or miasmatic remedy. A quick email or call to us is usually a much better choice!

When clearing a prior use of antibiotics on your timeline, you will show signs and symptoms of the suppressed disease matrix coming up from just below the decks. Now the original disease re-emerges from underneath the masking effect of the drug. This is what we mean by the drug being suppressive or palliative only, as the original underlying natural disease is still at large.

When you call in, your Heilkunst Practitioner will listen carefully to what you say. Funny about Strep Throat, as patients will have about 10 different ways of describing sore throats. It is actually rarely the actual Streptococcus strain of bacteria. We will pour over our Repertories (fancy reference book for finding the right remedies) and then reference our Materia Medicas (corresponding reference book which is a catalogue of all homeopathic remedies and their laundry list of symptoms).

Once we have the best matching remedy (or in some cases, remedies), we’re not about to leave you in the lurch just hanging there in pain at the other end of the phone! Nope, we have a computerized “radionics device” called “CoRe Bioresonance Feedback”. We can dial in your name, place of birth and date of birth and pick up your unique frequency in nature and broadcast that rx right to you! (If you want to learn more about the dousing aspect of the CoRe Inergetix System you can check out the link here.)

Crazy I know! Please recall that I was a financial advisor before I was a Heilkunst Practitioner and if you’d explained this to me 20 years ago, I’d think you were talking out your behind. Also, read our other blog entitled “What’s in a Remedy?” for more on how we’re able to effectively broadcast bio-energetically across the divide.

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The other thing that we can do is provide you with a “paper remedy.” Yes, you heard right. Paper rx are the remedies that we tell you to write down on a piece of paper and then stuck in your pocket or shoved under your pillow while you sleep. Yes, I know, you’re thinking I’m completely bonkers, however, don’t judge until you’ve tried it.

As prayer has been proven effective in physics terms, we can also cure disease from afar. Think of it like this. I make up a remedy, put it in a bottle, you add the water, and then you take said remedy and it biodynamically cures the disease in your etheric body. If you were to take that dropper to the chemist for testing, they’d tell you it contains nothing but water.

Shape of Love

By broadcasting OR using paper rx, we’re simply skipping the bottle or rice paper step and sending the bioenergy straight to its source. In fact, we have more advanced patients that never receive anything in the mail. Ever! We broadcast both their dropper bottle info. and timeline rx every month. And yes, they have the same degree of  healing reaction that you do mid-month.

Thoughts and Words

It was back in first year of medical school when I came down with one of the worst headaches that I’d ever had. I was just starting to feel nauseous and get a white aura at the periphery of my vision when the Instructor noticed my very pale face and wincing eyes. After a few poignant questions, she gave me a paper remedy of “Bryonia” with a fairly high potency. I was totally skeptical! However, within 20 minutes I was more than improved with just a ghost of  pain behind my eyes that was abating in the background. What a relief.

So for the last 15 years, Arcanum Practitioners have been broadcasting remedies all over the world. Flu rx for a patient in Cape Town, nausea rx for a fellow in Ottawa, bruising rx for lassie who fell from a horse in Fredericton and Strep. Throat for a young lad in Nebraska. The list is so long, we probably need to check with air traffic control before all these rx hit the airways. We’re sending out so many cures, we should be clocking the miles like an airline!

 

How to Mitigate Those Big Healing Reactions

imgres-1 A few patients have said to me, “You know, Ally, I was a little freaked out to start my own Heilkunst Treatment due to the massive healing reactions you illustrated in your book, “The Path To Cure“. How can we prevent these from happening to me?” The following is illustrative of how we’ve “come a long way Baby!”

When Jordan and I were first treated using Heilkunst principles back in the late 1990s, the principles of Regimen were not wholly nailed down yet. So much can be done by ensuring that your nutritional groundwork is sound, and that you’re supplementing appropriately to support your physical body (“ground substance”).

We also ensure that your system is able to detoxify more easily through principled medicine using certain foods, chelation protocols and homeopathic remedies not wholly understood back then for inviting channels in the body to open. This knowledge now allows for the process of letting go the material/emotional content more easily from the body.

The other thing is that we use Flower Essences (the Bach remedies being one better known example of them) in order to lovingly support the system using a more feminine gesture of care and love to “change your mind” gently. This enables us to alleviate you of your disease load while also gently supporting your system with healative flower essences.

We’ve also completed postgraduate research in advanced Heilkunst therapeutics including medical orgone therapeutics, Character Analysis, cognitive therapies, and Anthroposophical Medicine which enables us to help you to release the buried content at your emotional and spiritual core more easily. These studies were not available when we were going through our own Heilkunst Treatment.

The last element that we bring is almost 10 years of CoRe Bioresonance Feedback, enabling us to do a review of the phenomenon around the healing reaction and we’re able to broadcast both pathic and tonic remedies (ie remedies to relieve symptoms and remedies to address root causes of disease) immediately to the patient suffering a challenging healing reaction. We can even discern which books, movies, essential oils, Reckeweg, Anthroposophical, Lanthanide remedies, etc. would help you through this challenging time of flux and healing.

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No need to suffer as I did, for as long as I did! Also, EQ constitutions like mine … well, we’re a bit like Drama Queens (with a capital “D” and a capital “Q”!). A Silicea constitution would never think to have healing reactions as juicy as mine! We’ve got lots of tools, now, to help pull you out of a tailspin.

Here are a couple of blog posts further explaining the reason why some healing reactions are so large, and some alternative dose and potency methods for delivering the remedies:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Alexandre (6 years) Making His Way Out Of The Autism Spectrum

This is a testimonial e-mail sent by a Mom whose son, Alexandre, was non verbal 3 months prior at the onset of Heilkunst treatment.

 

Date: Fri, Mar 8, 2013 at 9:19 AM
Subject: Progress report
To: “info@arcanum.ca

Hi Allyson,

I am so over the moon with everything that has been accomplished with Alexandre and myself. The changes in me have been smaller but I have not woken with lower back pain since our visit, we are eating much healthier, not 100% there yet, but progress in being made. I am craving water and drink 2-3 large cups at work (holds 16oz/cup) and 3 or more at night as well. I feel more awakened to the small things and I am playing more with my babies, which is wonderful!

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As for Alexandre, his progress is phenomenal!!!! I attached a couple pictures of what he has done to surprise me. He did both without my assistance, AMAZING! He is far more verbal and seems to be opening more and more each day. He repeats everything, or at least attempts to, he is singing, and laughing so much. I was almost in tears last night, making a healthy supper of Quinoa, broccoli and cauliflower and chicken and my children were laughing and playing with each other. Usually Alex would be doing his own thing not paying any attention to (his sister) at all.

You have made such a change in our family is such a short span of time. I am so excited to come and see you again on the 26th. All of these changes have made our family energy so fun and positive. You have even made (my husband) into a believer. Thank you so much, you are truly our miracle worker.

I have given your name to so many people and I believe that my (relatives) will be in touch to seek treatment. You will love them both. I have told them that I think you can help them, I have complete faith in your abilities and I am your biggest fan!

I know you went to see my Aunt too, I’m hopeful that she’ll welcome your treatment and at least be able to have her remaining time be quality time.

Again thank you from the bottom of my heart! Alex and I will see you on the 26th!!!!! Can’t wait.

Thank You,
Nicole

Interval Fasting; Shocking Your Monkey To Life

“Shock the monkey
Shock the monkey
Shock the monkey to life”

~ Peter Gabriel

Some of you know that Jeff and I are living in Mexico for the Winter.  It is stunningly beautiful here, warm, and teaming with fresh foods and life.  Everyday we wake early, often walking the beach, biking or swimming for a couple of hours first thing before clinic and work calls.  When we walk, we’re often strolling hand in hand back to our condo, mid-morning, for another swim in the pool, a little sunbathing and a meditation well before lunch.  I feel like a kid who’s having so much fun, I forget to eat!

After being here for almost 2 months, I didn’t notice much that my physical body had changed.  It is hot, so I wear a lot of dresses.  One day, I grabbed a pair of white pants to wear out to dinner.  When I buttoned them up, I noticed several additional inches between me and my waistband.  Odd, I checked the size thinking I might have packed the wrong ones to bring, but no this was the snug pair that I’d brought with me from home.

Not a week later, I was speaking with a patient who’d fully actualized her essential self and was just finishing up her Heilkunst treatment with me.  She mentioned having lost weight recently citing how easily she was letting go.  She was excited to tell me how her daughter, who is a Chef, was the one to have recommended, “The Fast Diet” by a Dr. Michael Mosely and Mimi Spencer.  I didn’t think too much about it as I’m not one much for fads of any sort, however, in the same week, I came across this Ted Talk video with Mark Mattson on fasting and ketosis and wondered at the recent phenomenon I was experiencing.

Interesting to me, as I both love and hate fasting!  I do it full out a couple times a year.  Based on principles of not allowing my body to become so complacent with the influx of cooked or even raw foods, I’ll go to a liquid or mono-food diet for a time to give my body a rest, metabolize hidden islets of toxicity and re-boot the grid with regards to my relationship to food.  I love food, I love to cook and I often need to recall that,”I eat to live, not live to eat!”

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I know that when I’m ready to know a whole concept, the teacher will appear.  In this case, my patient, was the cathartic nudge I needed to figure out why I was naturally and easily dropping weight.  I knew that our foremothers and fathers did not have the food availability that we do in these modern times and that often, they were not eating 3 meals a day due to shortage.

Even when I worked on the family farm, often we’d be out in the fields or milking cows before dawn, coming up to the house around 11:00 a.m. or noon for our main meal.  The table heaped with meat, green beans boiled to well beyond their death in milk and potatoes, always heaps of potatoes.  Then we’d have a smaller supper, usually a sandwich made from the noontime leftovers.  Then you’d fall into bed just after the sun was down, spent and fulfilled within my beloved community.

My kids, even though they were mostly raised on farms, naturally ate the same way.  They would almost always skip breakfast and desire a decent meal around noon and then a snack-like meal again in the early evening or sometimes not at all.  Often, they were easily going over 12 hours without food in their teens as they dictated their own nourishing schedule!  I also noticed that my children, now adults, always self-regulated their diets out of their innate volition. I also knew to trust my kid’s innate rhythms, as they were the healthiest people I had the pleasure of observing through their organic unfolding!
260px-Glycogen_structure.svgI was always curious about society’s expectation that we eat three meals and snacks as it always seemed excessive to me.  The idea of not eating for longer spans of  became clear to me when I read how glycogen gets stored up in the system.  In humans, glycogen is made and stored primarily in the cells of the liver and the muscles hydrated with three or four parts of water. Glycogen functions as the secondary long-term energy storage, with the primary energy stores being fats held in adipose tissue. Muscle glycogen is converted into glucose by muscle cells, and liver glycogen converts to glucose for use throughout the body including the central nervous system.

The glycogen’s function is to lovingly take care of you in instances of fight or flight.  The fast twitch muscles rely on this substance for your reflexes to think and act fast.  On that note, perhaps think of the immediate gratification required by our present society; fast food, fast education crammed into our first 20 years, fast growing crops, fast trades on the stock exchange, children growing up too fast and too soon, fast diagnoses, fast pills and fast sex. Little in our modern world is slow and delicious, as we’re always rushing from one thing to the next.  The armouring in our physical bodies speak to this constant gesture of immediate gratification.

 

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The problem becomes that if you’re eating every couple of hours, you’re not only adding to the sugar in your blood, but you’re also rarely getting to the strata of the fat layers stored beneath the glycogen.   The state of burning fat is termed “ketosis”.  Producing ketones is a desirable state loved by both the kidney and heart, that was formerly controversial by some allopathic scientists.

There is an assumption that if a body is burning a lot of fat for energy, it must not be getting “enough” glucose. However, there is no indication, from studying people on reduced carbohydrate diets, that this is the case.   If you can’t periodically get into ketosis, you end up suffering a physiological vicious circle of fight/flight.  Then, when you grab a latte for lunch en route to an afternoon meeting, you prevent the system from burning fat, sinking into the slow, heat burning furnace we’re capable of.

Many folks are starving from a lack of micro-nutrients, but they’re also superficially cold both physically and emotionally.  This is true for slim individuals too, as folks who are ripped in their musculature are often as armoured as the obese person.  Think of the runners who’ve dropped dead and the finish line or the woman with arthritis so bad in her one hundred fifteen pound frame.  Even Dr. Mercola speaks to the benefits of intermittent fasting and he’s a really lean dude!

 

 

When we do eat it is important to engage consciously, deliberately and prayerfully with our food.  In our culture, we’ve mostly forgotten the art of romance with food and who we are eating with.  Think how nourishing it can feel to eat together with loved ones and while lingering over a bowl of chowder.  My husband, Jeff, when he’s eating something he loves that I’ve prepared will literally moan with each bite, closing his eyes and savouring each proffered chaw.  God, how I love to feed him!

So how to solve our glycogen habit you ask?  First, we have to stop being junkies and then as Peter Gabriel suggests, we’ve got to “shock the monkey!”  First of all cut out the coffee.  Coffee suppresses fear and is a big cause for anxiety and sleep issues in our culture.  Perhaps deal with the underlying cause.  Eat organic fruits and vegetables that resonate with your blood type.  We’ll send you the food lists, or you can check out Dr. D’Adamo’s book, “Eat Right For Your Type“,  and then one to two days a week, you bring your calories down to a mere five hundred for the day.

The idea is that our physiologies are not really designed to eat three meals a day plus snacks.  When was the last time you had to fish, forage or hunt for you food?  When you’re hungry, really hungry, your mind gets sharp, your body brilliantly taut and at the ready to smartly outwit that trout.

Where did the false premise of eating every couple of hours come from? It is promoted by dieticians trained to follow government food guides, which in turn arise from inimical forces in the allopathic medical field who make money on your three meals a day choices. This constant consumption of food contributes to obesity, cancer, high blood pressure and heart disease.

Suppressing our innate drives of creativity and desires for love and intimacy, by mouth, is often the socially acceptable drug of choice for a lot of people.  I’m suggesting that we solve the underlying cause for the angst and pain we suffer instead and stop being so resigned to it; go ahead and shock the monkey! See the stuff that you’re really made of.

This is also the basis for Dr. Mosley and Mimi Spencer’s “The Fast Diet” (although his use of coffee I can’t condone especially for all other blood types except ‘A’).  And, no, that doesn’t mean you’re eating like you’re in a blitz! Think the other kind of “fast,” the spiritual one.  Folks have been fasting for religious reasons for thousands of years.  It is for the purpose of spiritual transformation, getting into the strata of your being-ness, plumbing the depths of your intimate relationship to God.  If you’re an atheist, then just think of how your organs and health will benefit.

On five hundred calorie days, it also means slowly and lovingly savoring a farm-fresh egg and some organic cottage cheese with half a grapefruit perhaps late morning, for example, and then a beautiful little stir-fry early evening.  If you’re wanting to get back to your healthy weight, have clearer thoughts and a healthier body, Mosley suggests engaging thusly on this fast two days per week and if you’re seeking to maintain your health, purging your system of unwanted toxins or islets of organization, then one day a week is sufficient.  It actually is a a lot easier than you might think!  Read the testimonials of folks who’ve let go of hundreds of excess weight at the back of the book.

When I was doing the research for this article, I queried my 18 year old daughter, Adie, who is a natural athlete.  She trains Olympic-level horses and must remain in a state of self-governance with regards to her heath and regimen.

“Adie, what do you do when you feel hungry?”  I heard her pause at the other end of the phone, “Well, I acknowledge the need for a moment and then just let it pass, really.  It’s just hunger, it’s not like I’m going to die or anything.  Often it’s just a call for more water so I drink, or recognize it for what it is and then just let it go or re-engage more deeply with what I’m working on.  I don’t let it dictate my actions as the more I eat, the more food I want.”

I gave a lot of thought to Adie’s words.  It is true that I answered the call for food too often myself.  Even though I’ve naturally purged a dress size or two, I’m going to grab that monkey by the tail and give him a good yank! Also, I NEVER underestimate happiness, beauty, the beach and good geography for allowing a gal to simply let go.

“Cover me when I run
Cover me through the fire
Something knocked me out ‘ the trees
Now I’m on my knees
Cover me, darling please
Monkey, monkey, monkey
Don’t you know you’re going to shock the monkey”

~ Peter Gabriel

 

Sources:

http://www.collective-evolution.com/2015/12/11/neuroscientist-shows-what-fasting-does-to-your-brain-why-big-pharma-wont-study-it/

http://fitness.mercola.com/sites/fitness/archive/2013/06/28/intermittent-fasting-health-benefits.aspx

 

 

How Couples Counselling Can Give A Better Understanding Of the Positive Role of Conflict

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Most folks in committed relationships feel that conflict is a bad thing.  The shadow side of the self is often suppressed with tactics like “anger management” or palliated with the “power of positive thinking.”  The subconscious will always leverage the shadow content for your “not so viewing pleasure” if you choose to keep it falsely couched behind an over active intellect.  The intellect thrives falsely anchored in the past or projected into the future and true health can be achieved as long as this is the pattern.  Relationships demand connection to our true feelings and it is best if we know what they are before negative conflict arises.  

 

By offering yourself as a more explored whole to your partner, you risk less destabilization and demoralization on both sides.  If you choose to use the the relationship as the primary vehicle for raising negative content from the subconscious, you risk destroying your relationship with your partner and over time, with yourself.  You’ve heard how an abused man or women will enter into a similar relationship a second time.  When the conflict arises, you often get taken by the thrust of stored negative emotions that leave you mystified and trapped in a “he says, she says” mode of negative communication.  Really, no one ever benefits from a battle of wills.  This primal loop of negativity just loops tirelessly around and around.

 

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Most art and film, for example, reveals our suppressed feelings “in the now” that allow us to see who we are in the light of day.  It will even expose our bad bits in a very positive medium.  The movie The Matrix is a very good example how art can render just how unconscious we’ve become to the forces of  evil that puppet us. In order to convert the shadow side of our being, and live outside our own Matrix, we need to shed some light on this nether aspect of the self.  Our grief, fear, anger and guilt are not going anywhere, and as you may already suspect, they do despise positive thinking and will sabotage it constantly.  If we commit to harnessing them correctly, however, we can know a greater self-powered consciousness than ever before.  By first embracing what is, in the moment, our emotions will convert, offering themselves up as a fount of creativity.  Safe expression of our feelings can become a vehicle to our greater creativity and ultimate healthy connectivity with others.

 

41GHEtLdJfL._SX328_BO1,204,203,200_The parts of your relationships that you despise, or even abhor, is a good indication of what you need to wrestle with in your own shadow side.  That emotion, then needs expression.  Using safe modalities such as a punching bag, Judo, art therapy, journaling, and poetry can allow you to safely see what is hidden at the level of your sub-conscious.  You can do this first, on your own, safely illuminating negative emotions positively.  Shedding light on your dark side raises your knowledge of yourself, in a more positive light, ultimately building self-confidence.  This allows the relationship to benefit from your conversion of the negative into the positive.  No individual finds anything more sexy than a partner who already lives a fully examined life.  By the time you get to the commitment stage, you are already starting most of your sentences with, “I feel …” breeding confidence and self-esteem even when the emotions are of a negative breed.  This full engagement with your feelings, relieves you of the negative matrix, allowing you to embrace positive conflict in all aspects of your life.  It begins with the self and your marriage can only benefit from it.

 

 

The Myths and Misconceptions of Couples Counselling

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Healthy relationships are a function of Love, commitment and a mature consciousness  It can be tough to enter into our imaginations to look into the future with regards to the dynamics of the relationship with clear, honest eyes.  Most folks know, unequivocally, at the altar whether or not they are making a mistake and due to social pressures, will go through with it anyway while the pulse races and the mind screams in protest.  Pre-Marriage Counselling can be the most intelligent and Love-imbued activity you can engage with on behalf of yourself in order to shed a conscious light on the myths and misconceptions of a prospective union with another.

 

A popular but mistaken belief is that the main factors contributing to a long marriage are luck and love; instead, commitment and companionship actually play a more important role.  In fact, one has to be committed to being their own intimate companion first!  What this means, simply, is that I can only be as intimately connected to another as I am already committed to myself and my own feelings first.  For example, when you are feeling anxious, ask yourself how you are really feeling?  Sink down, below the anxiety into the pit of your stomach.  What is the feeling?  Generally, it is a deep seated and more deeply rooted fear.  If you are able to connect to “the feeling” the crux of the anxiety, and name it out loud, watch the shifts that occur in your body as the breath deepens and you relax.  If you are able to execute these connections to yourself, first, then you simply can offer this same capacity to connect to yourself to your beloved.  It actual fact, I can only connect to another human being to the degree that I am already connected to all aspects of myself; especially my deeper feelings.

 

 

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Conflict is not unusual or abnormal in a relationship; actually it can be the most illuminating tool to know the self if used constructively.  Freud called this phenomenon “transference.”  If I am displaying blame, criticism, or a false desire to fix someone else, what I am actually attempting to leverage from my subconscious is my fear, grief, anger, guilt and resentment by projecting onto the other person.  If I can train myself to read these projections before they are projected inappropriately onto my beloved, I convert lead into gold!  This is the secret behind Paracelus’ Alchemy. Alternatively, if someone chooses to live an unconscious life, they will keep projecting the same content over and over again based on deep seated karmic patterns and harbored diseases that keep one sadly puppeted by their unconscious; or neurotic and psychotic material.  Once we learn to hold the charge of a deeper inner consciousness with the realization that I’m about to project it onto someone else, I can illuminate the unconscious into consciousness.  Pre-marriage counselling, by an illuminated and trusted mentor can help us to face the content we harbor, poised to projected onto the tableau of an innocent marriage.  For example, if I notice I’m jealous, for example, rather than anxiously blaming or accusing my beloved, I can thoughtfully engage in the root cause which is my utter insecurity and fear that I may be abandoned.  In fact, in the case of jealousy, it is typically a sub-conscious projection of your little kid-fears that your are not worth being wholly committed to that was illustrated to you in early childhood by Mommy or Daddy.  Most of this content has been harbored before the tender age of three.

 

imagesPrincipled counselling is only to be used to avoid a negative situation like an imminent divorce; rather than a positive goal of consciously building a healthy, fulfilling relationship.  All negative self-perceptions have the capacity to be transmuted into a benefit for yourself and subsequently the relationship.  It takes courage to sink into the muck and mire of your deepest fears and hatred.  Once down in the content of the demiurge at your core, you realize that as you clear the brambles with your sword of truth, it is just the whining and little kid fears of your early childhood still holding you prey.  If you can pick up this side of yourself, the abandoned toddler, and purvey her/him out of the darkness with compassion and love, you will see that the positive goal of consciously building a healthy, fulfilling relationship, actually begins in your own loins!  If you can rescue yourself first, you don’t project your insecurities and demands to be rescued by your partner day after day.  This is the most liberating, mature and whole way of being in relationship.  Can you imagine what our relationships could look like if we are both already rescued and whole; our salvation completely bagged and intact?  There would be no end to the love, abundance and creativity we could explore.

 

Another myth is that “mature” or “smart” couples don’t need outside help to solve any conflicts or issues.  Self-intelligence does not necessarily come from having a PHd. or from living a long time.  Wisdom or as the Greeks spouted, “Know thyself” is a function of courage, the true capacity to face all your feelings in an honest, forthright, way and allowing your fears to convert into hope, hate into love, jealousy into faith, and grief into compassion and tenderness.  The intellect is not “smart” or “mature,” in fact it is a child barely out of diapers, living out of the past or projected into the future.  It is a moralizing junky that only knows how to compartmentalize, or analyze, trying to shove every feeling into filing drawers of the mind too small and contracted to fit them.  Feelings just don’t fit the intellectual construct and will spew onto the outer landscape, generally projected wrongly onto others.  It is a hot-flash of unconscious emotion.  When we walk it down into the nether part of our being, face our truer base emotions, they will naturally convert into right thinking, informed and imbued with heat, enthusiasm and orgastic love.  This is a more righteous definition for the state of maturity bourn out of a deep self-knowledge.  This way of being connected to he self is sexy beyond words!  Being the mature, realized, conscious being that you are naturally destroys the myths and misconceptions of the victim, prey-like self.

 

images-2One misconception with far reaching implications is that having children will bring a couple closer together or patch up existing problems.  What fears, anger, grief and resentment we can’t raise into consciousness out of love, actually becomes the prison projected onto the next generation.  What we bear from our loins carries the same limitations, or alternatively, the love and hope we’ve consciously become. Our babes are a mirror of our limitations or the triumphs of our celebrated lives.  The myths and misconceptions of pre-marriage counselling are that it can’t help.  That is true if I’m hell-bent on self-destruction.  Sadly, folks poised on remaining unconscious, perilously lost in the darkness, puppeted by unconscious acts that keep them, their partners and their off-spring trapped in karmic and disease patterns will perpetuate out of  law; the law of resonance.  

Appropriate pre-marriage counselling with a an inspirational mentor trained in the principles of Character Analysis and Orgone Therapies (enabling to access the pre-verbal ages from pre-womb to about 3 or 4 years where most patterning started) can help the individuals seeking coupledom as a function of their personal evolution be the most illuminating journey imaginable.  This is not for the faint of heart and few will own the courage to plunge into these depths, however, a mentor who has journeyed the same route before you, fully conscious, trained and illuminated can be a God-send.  It is time for us to cure ourselves, our relationships, our marriages and then only foster our children out of this deep abiding knowledge and love.  A whole, healthy, sovereign and autonomous self will create the opposite qualities in a partner.  Work on yourself first, or in conjunction with your relationship, as individual wholeness will burn off the predisposition for dysfunction and co-dependency.

Are you ready for a map so that you can artfully fall apart?

The Art Of Falling ApartRaw Honesty

“Five Stars” to Allyson McQuinn for having the courage to write about how disease and failing to follow one’s own passions are irrevocably connected. Using her own life as an example, she describes with raw honesty the journey from “doing” for everyone else in stereotypical mother/wife-style, to the health crisis of a serious debilitating skin condition, and then on to remarkably attaining her health again after much soul-searching and life changes.
Well worth the read! ~ Kim White

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“I purchased your new kindle book “The Art of Falling Apart”. I have really appreciated you writing it. I read it within a few days. I really loved learning how you processed and found your way through and out to the other side, and all the things you shifted and changed during that time. Very enlightening. It helped me to see how I have processed things myself. What you went through is certainly not for the faint at heart, and I can certainly relate to so much of what you shared. But it’s how we get to the best parts of who we truly are underneath all those layers that are not us. So thank you for sharing your experiences. All the best!!” ~ S.M.

 
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“I’m almost done with your new book.  I’ll write a review soon!  Wow, it is brilliant!   Thank you so much for baring your soul!  I felt like it mirrored so many things that I’ve been feeling, and it was validating to read someone else’s experiences.  You know, that “I’m not alone” (aka crazy) feeling!  Thank you for everything, Allyson! ” ~ S.T
 
 
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“Thank you for sending me the note about your book. I downloaded it and couldn’t put it down-even going cross eyed reading it on my phone lol.

The Art of Falling Apart is resonating with me deeply, I found my self going yes, yes, yes, and oh that’s why. I definitely feel that I am in the falling apart process, and instead of allowing it to take over with grace, I am resisting it with all my might, even though the voice in my head is say just let go and ride the wave. I too put others before myself quite often, and feel guilty  when I don’t, and try to do everything myself so no one feels they need to look after me-but I am at a point where I need to step down a little and let someone…hubby…care for me too ( I have shut him out from that, because I never wanted to be the needy girl), no I am understanding that being cared for is not a needy…sorry I went off on a tangent…

I also enjoyed hearing about your experience with Christ and Mary. For the longest time I have avoided and felt repelled by, I don’t want to say Christ, but by Religion factor-but I find that since painting with Shiloh (whom has a very deep connection with Christ and especially Mary and the goddess) I find my self drawn more the stories, teachings and history. I am learning that I don’t have to be in organized religion to enjoy them, and be inspired by them. I wrote down each book you recommended on this topic…hope that made sense. ~ J.R.

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Real, Raw and Amazing!

“This is by far one of the most honest, raw, emotional books that I have ever read. Allyson shares her relevant lifetime history and how it led her to the ‘baptism’ encounter. Most importantly, she gives a firsthand account of how she sought the true meaning behind her suffering and took it upon herself to dig into the depths of her soul to cure her disease outright – which is her heart’s calling for herself and others.
Aside from the raw account of understanding her truth, Allyson’s writing style has once again left me unable to put her book down until I was finished reading!” ~ Kassie Ehler

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“This is your most intimate, and illuminating, piece of work so far- it was a baptism by fire for sure!

You drew me into your inner world-taking me through the dark recesses of our primal fears, self-doubt, and the dying away of the false ego, to emerge, renewed and more wholly in relationship, with your Self and your life. It’s heartfelt, terrifying, beautiful, and inspiring.

Often practitioners are placed on a pedestal (or we falsely place ourselves on one). Because our work is to guide others towards ousting the false ego, resolving trauma and aiding in their trajectory towards claiming the essential self- we must, to a degree, be able to do this ourselves. Therefore, it is humbling when find that we still have a lot of personal work to do, and I think sometimes, we feel shame when we falter. We need to confront that fear of revealing, that we too, are still in a process of becoming. It is a vulnerable position, and yet, it is the very thing that is necessary.

With this book you have illustrated the darkest part of our unfoldment, where we enter into the recesses of our fears and assume, with full consciousness, who we are meant to be. Many of us turn away at this point, because it requires that we acknowledge, and act, on our truth. This is not easy, requiring that we stay with the chaos, and have faith, surrendering, and allowing, the facade to burn away. It can be wholly life-altering if we have built our relationships, and our lives, on who we thought we were (or felt we needed to be). It’s seemingly easier to suppress symptoms and dis-ease, disassociate from our truth, and stay in our delusions, that is, until we are faced with our ultimatum. You have illustrated this so beautifully. I felt your fear, your brokenness, your self-doubt, your bravery.

Then you take us into the warm embrace of self-care, and the traversing of this passage, with tenderness and self-love. This is one of the toughest things for most of us to do. “What? Am I actually going to ask for, and do, what I need to get well? What about XYZ? I can’t.” Your false ego was flat-lined, and you did. I felt like I was there with you, building up your relationship with your self, acknowledging and acting on your desires. It was tender at first, and then I could feel your energy build. I felt the enthusiasm as your love function became activated, and celebrated, when you found yourself with your kin, wholly in love.

Your book felt like an intimate, resonant conversation; these are the conversations that I crave. It could only have been achieved if you allowed yourself to truly be seen, and to speak, from your heart, and from your truth. It is a remedy, truly, for those that are still pursuing this passage. With the sharing of your story, you become a maverick, and give others a hope, and faith in their capacity, to become who they are meant to be.” ~ Sara Dubeau, DHHP, DMH

 

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“”The Art of Falling Apart” was in my hands as soon as it was hot off the press. I knew that there would be many gems in this book, and I was totally right. In reading Allyson’s personal healing journey it felt so raw, real, painful and inspiring all at the same time. There were many aspects of her healing journey that have resembled mine in some ways over the course of the last few years. In reading her book it helped me acknowledge to myself that I’m on the right path. Allyson wrote a very enlightening book filled with incredible wisdom and courage. Thank you for showing us that it’s possible to arrive at who we truly are underneath the many layers that need healing. I appreciate you sharing your very personal experience with us. Highly recommended book!!” ~ Suzanne McRae

 

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“I very much enjoyed reading this book, so much so that I finished in a couple days. It spoke deeply to my current state of mind, and gave me hope that it is okay to just let go, and that I will find my path.
Allyson has a captivating way of capturing her experiences in writing-such a personal story but also filled with much knowledge and direction to other resources if you so choose to go deeper.” ~ Jennifer Slader 

 

Link to Book in Amazon:

 

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Childhood, disrupted

An excellent article, published on Aeon on how childhood trauma manifests as physical disease later on:

Adversity in childhood can create long-lasting scars, damaging our cells and our DNA, and making us sick as adults

by Donna Jackson Nakazawa

 

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Photo by Charles Gullung/Gallery Stock

 

If you saw Laura walking down the New York City street where she lives today, you’d see a well-dressed 46-year-old woman with auburn hair and green eyes, who exudes a sense of ‘I matter here.’ She looks entirely in charge of her life, but behind Laura’s confident demeanour lies a history of trauma: a bipolar mother who vacillated between braiding her daughter’s hair and peppering her with insults, and a father who moved out-of-state with his wife-to-be when Laura was 15 years old.

She recalls a family trip to the Grand Canyon when she was 10. In a photo taken that day, Laura and her parents sit on a bench, sporting tourist whites. ‘Anyone looking at us would have assumed that we were a normal, loving family.’ But as they put on fake smiles for the camera, Laura’s mother suddenly pinched her daughter’s midriff and told her to stop ‘staring off into space’. A second pinch: ‘No wonder you’re turning into a butterball, you ate so much cheesecake last night you’re hanging over your shorts!’ If you look hard at Laura’s face in the photograph, you can see that she’s not squinting at the Arizona sun, but holding back tears.

After her father left the family, he sent cards and money, but called less and less. Meanwhile, her mother’s untreated bipolar disorder worsened. Sometimes, Laura says: ‘My mom would go on a vitriolic diatribe about my dad until spittle foamed on her chin. I’d stand there, trying not to hear her as she went on and on, my whole body shaking inside.’ Laura never invited friends over, for fear they’d find out her secret: her mom ‘wasn’t like other moms’.

Some 30 years later, Laura says: ‘In many ways, no matter where I go or what I do, I’m still in my mother’s house.’ Today, ‘If a car swerves into my lane, a grocery store clerk is rude, my husband and I argue, or my boss calls me in to talk over a problem, I feel something flip over inside. It’s like there’s a match standing inside too near a flame, and with the smallest breeze, it ignites.’

To see Laura, you’d never know that she is ‘always shaking a little, only invisibly, deep down in my cells’.

Her sense that something is wrong inside is mirrored by her physical health. During a routine exam, Laura’s doctor discovered that Laura was suffering from dilated cardiomyopathy and would require a cardioverter defibrillator to keep her heart pumping. The two-inch scar from her surgery only hints at the more severe scars she hides from her childhood.

For as long as John can remember, he says, his parents’ marriage was deeply troubled, as was his relationship with his father. ‘I consider myself to have been raised by my mom and her mom. I longed to feel a deeper connection with my dad, but it just wasn’t there. He couldn’t extend himself in that way.’ John’s poor relationship with his father was due, in large part, to his father’s reactivity and need for control. For instance, if John’s father said that the capital of New York was New York City, there was just no use telling him that it was Albany.

As John got older, it seemed wrong to him that his father ‘was constantly pointing out all the mistakes that my brother and I made, without acknowledging any of his own’. His father relentlessly criticised his mother, who was ‘kinder and more confident’. Aged 12, John began to interject himself into the fights between his parents. He remembers one Christmas Eve, when he found his father with his hands around his mother’s neck and had to separate them. ‘I was always trying to be the adult between them,’ John says.

John is now a boyish 40, with warm hazel eyes and a wide, affable grin. But beneath his easy, open demeanour, he struggles with an array of chronic illnesses. By the time he was 33, his blood pressure was shockingly high; he began to experience bouts of stabbing stomach pain and diarrhoea and often had blood in his stool; he struggled from headaches almost daily. By 34, he’d developed chronic fatigue, and was so wiped out that he sometimes struggled to make it through an entire workday.

John’s relationships, like his body, were never completely healthy. He ended a year?long romance with a woman he deeply loved because he felt riddled with anxiety around her normal, ‘happy family’. He just didn’t know how to fit in. ‘She wanted to help,’ he says, ‘but instead of telling her how insecure I was around her, I told her I wasn’t in love with her.’ Bleeding from his inflamed intestines, exhausted by chronic fatigue, debilitated and distracted by pounding headaches, often struggling with work, and unable to feel comfortable in a relationship, John was stuck in a universe of pain and solitude, and he couldn’t get out.

Laura’s and John’s life stories illustrate the physical price we can pay, as adults, for trauma that took place 10, 20, even 30 years ago. New findings in neuroscience, psychology and immunology tell us that the adversity we face during childhood has farther-reaching consequences than we might ever have imagined. Today, in labs across the country, neuroscientists are peering into the once-inscrutable brain-body connection, and breaking down, on a biochemical level, exactly how the stress we experience during childhood and adolescence catches up with us when we are adults, altering our bodies, our cells, and even our DNA.

Emotional stress in adult life affects us on a physical level in quantifiable, life-altering ways. We all know that when we are stressed, chemicals and hormones can flush our body and increase levels of inflammation. That’s why stressful events in adult life are correlated with the likelihood of getting a cold or having a heart attack.

But when children or teens face adversity and especially unpredictable stressors, they are left with deeper, longer?lasting scars. When the young brain is thrust into stressful situations over and over again without warning, and stress hormones are repeatedly ramped up, small chemical markers, known as methyl groups, adhere to specific genes that regulate the activity of stress?hormone receptors in the brain. These epigenetic changes hamper the body’s ability to turn off the stress response. In ideal circumstances, a child learns to respond to stress, and recover from it, learning resilience. But kids who’ve faced chronic, unpredictable stress undergo biological changes that cause their inflammatory stress response to stay activated.

Joan Kaufman, director of the Child and Adolescent Research and Education (CARE) programme at the Yale School of Medicine, recently analysed DNA in the saliva of happy, healthy children, and of children who had been taken from abusive or neglectful parents. The children who’d experienced chronic childhood stress showed epigenetic changes in almost 3,000 sites on their DNA, and on all 23 chromosomes – altering how appropriately they would be able to respond to and rebound from future stressors.

Kids who’ve had early adversity have a drip of fight-or-flight hormones turned on every day – it’s as if there is no off switch

Likewise, Seth Pollak, professor of psychology and director of the Child Emotion Research Laboratory at the University of Wisconsin at Madison, uncovered startling genetic changes in children with a history of adversity and trauma. Pollak identified damage to a gene responsible for calming the stress response. This particular gene wasn’t working properly; the kids’ bodies weren’t able to reign in their heightened stress response. ‘A crucial set of brakes are off,’ says Pollak.

Imagine for a moment that your body receives its stress hormones and chemicals through an IV drip that’s turned on high when needed and, when the crisis passes, it’s switched off again. You might think of kids whose brains have undergone epigenetic changes because of early adversity as having an inflammation-promoting drip of fight-or-flight hormones turned on every day – it’s as if there is no off switch.

Experiencing stress in childhood changes your set point of wellbeing for decades to come. In people such as Laura and John, the endocrine and immune systems are churning out a damaging and inflammatory cocktail of stress neurochemicals in response to even small stressors – an unexpected bill, a disagreement with their spouse, a car that swerves in front of them on the highway, a creak on the staircase – for the rest of their lives. They might find themselves overreacting to, and less able to recover from, the inevitable stressors of life. They’re always responding. And all the while, they’re unwittingly marinating in inflammatory chemicals, which sets the stage for full-throttle disease down the road, in the form of autoimmune disease, heart disease, cancer, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, fibroid tumours, irritable bowel syndrome, ulcers, migraines and asthma.

Scientists first came to understand the relationship between early chronic stress and later adult disease through the work of a dedicated physician in San Diego and a determined epidemiologist from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) in Atlanta. Together, during the 1980s and ’90s – the years when Laura and John were growing up – these two researchers began a paradigm-shifting public-health investigation known as the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study.

In 1985, Vincent J Felitti, chief of a revolutionary preventive care initiative at the Kaiser Permanente Medical Care programme in San Diego, noticed a startling pattern in adult patients at an obesity clinic. A significant number were, with the support of Felitti and his nurses, successfully losing hundreds of pounds a year, a remarkable feat, only to withdraw from the programme despite weight-loss success. Felitti, determined to get to the bottom of the attrition rate, conducted face-to-face interviews with 286 patients. It turned out there was a common denominator. Many confided that they had suffered some sort of trauma, often sexual abuse, in their childhoods. To these patients, eating was a solution, not a problem: it soothed the anxiety and depression they had harboured for decades; their weight served as a shield against undesired attention, and they didn’t want to let it go.

Felitti’s interviews gave him a new way of looking at human health and wellbeing that other physicians just weren’t seeing. He presented his findings at a national obesity conference, arguing that ‘our intractable public health problems’ had root causes hidden ‘by shame, by secrecy, and by social taboos against exploring certain areas of life experience’. Felitti’s peers were quick to blast him. One even stood up in the audience and accused Felitti of offering ‘excuses’ for patients’ ‘failed lives’. Felitti, however, remained unfazed; he felt sure that he had stumbled upon a piece of information that would hold enormous import for the field of medicine.

After a colleague who attended that same conference suggested that he design a study with thousands of patients who suffered from a wide variety of diseases, not just obesity, Felitti joined forces with Robert Anda, a medical epidemiologist at the CDC who had, at the time, been researching the relationship between coronary heart disease and depression. Felitti and Anda took advantage of Kaiser Permanente’s vast patient cohort to set up a national epidemiology laboratory. Of the 26,000 patients they invited to take part in their study, more than 17,000 agreed.

Anda and Felitti surveyed these 17,000 individuals on about 10 types of adversity, or adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), probing into patients’ childhood and adolescent histories. Questions included: ‘Was a biological parent ever lost to you through divorce, abandonment or other reason?’; ‘Did a parent or other adult in the household often swear at you, insult you, put you down or humiliate you?’; and ‘Was a household member depressed or mentally ill?’ Other questions looked at types of family dysfunction that included growing up with a parent who was an alcoholic or addicted to other substances; being physically or emotionally neglected; being sexually or physically abused; witnessing domestic violence; having a family member who was sent to prison; feeling that there was no one to provide protection; and feeling that one’s family didn’t look out for each other. For each category to which a patient responded ‘yes’, one point would be added to her ACE score, so an ACE score of 2 would indicate that she had suffered two adverse childhood experiences.

To be clear, the patients Felitti and Anda surveyed were not troubled or disadvantaged; the average patient was 57, and three-quarters had attended college. These were ‘successful’ men and women, mostly white, middle-class, with stable jobs and health benefits. Felitti and Anda expected their number of ‘yes’ answers to be fairly low.

The correlation between having a difficult childhood and facing illness as an adult offered a whole new lens through which we could view human health and disease

When the results came in, Felitti and Anda were shocked: 64 per cent of participants answered ‘yes’ to having encountered at least one category of early adversity, and 87 per cent of those patients also had additional adverse childhood experiences; 40 per cent had suffered two or more ACEs; 12.5 per cent had an ACE score greater than or equal to 4.

Felitti and Anda wanted to find out whether there was a correlation between the number of adverse childhood experiences an individual had faced, and the number and severity of illnesses and disorders she developed as an adult. The correlation proved so powerful that Anda was not only ‘stunned’, but deeply moved.

‘I wept,’ he says. ‘I saw how much people had suffered, and I wept.’

Felitti, too, was deeply affected. ‘Our findings exceeded anything we had conceived. The correlation between having a difficult childhood and facing illness as an adult offered a whole new lens through which we could view human health and disease.’

Here, says Felitti, ‘was the missing piece as to what was causing so much of our unspoken suffering as human beings’.

The number of adverse childhood experiences a patient had suffered could by and large predict the amount of medical care she would require in adulthood: the higher the ACE score, the higher the number of doctor’s appointments she’d had in the past year, and the more unexplained physical symptoms she’d reported.

People with an ACE score of 4 were twice as likely to be diagnosed with cancer than people who hadn’t faced any form of childhood adversity. For each point an individual had, her chance of being hospitalised with an autoimmune disease in adulthood rose 20 per cent. Someone with an ACE score of 4 was 460 per cent more likely to face depression than someone with a score of 0.

An ACE score of 6 or higher shortened an individual’s lifespan by almost 20 years.

Researchers wondered if those who encountered childhood adversity were also more likely to smoke, drink and overeat as a sort of coping strategy, and while that was sometimes the case, unhealthy habits didn’t wholly account for the correlation Felitti and Anda saw between adverse childhood experiences and later illness. For instance, those with ACE scores greater than or equal to 7 who didn’t drink or smoke, weren’t overweight or diabetic, and didn’t have high cholesterol stillhad a 360 per cent higher risk of heart disease than those with ACE scores of 0.

‘Time,’ says Felitti, ‘does not heal all wounds. One does not “just get over” something – not even 50 years later.’ Instead, he says: ‘Time conceals. And human beings convert traumatic emotional experiences in childhood into organic disease later in life.’

Often, these illnesses can be chronic and lifelong. Autoimmune disease. Heart disease. Chronic bowel disorders. Migraines. Persistent depression. Even today, doctors puzzle over these very conditions: why are they so prevalent; why are some patients more prone to them than others; and why are they so difficult to treat?

The more research that’s done, the more granular details emerge about the profound link between adverse experiences and adult disease. Scientists at Duke University in North Carolina, the University of California, San Francisco, and Brown University in Rhode Island have shown that childhood adversity damages us on a cellular level in ways that prematurely age our cells and affect our longevity. Adults who faced early life stress show greater erosion in what are known as telomeres – protective caps that sit on the ends of DNA strands to keep the DNA healthy and intact. As telomeres erode, we’re more likely to develop disease, and we age faster; as our telomeres age and expire, our cells expire and so, eventually, do we.

Researchers have also seen a correlation between specific types of adverse childhood experiences and a range of diseases. For instance, children whose parents die, or who face emotional or physical abuse, or experience childhood neglect, or witness marital discord between their parents are more likely to develop cardiovascular disease, lung disease, diabetes, headaches, multiple sclerosis and lupus as adults. Facing difficult circumstances in childhood increases six-fold your chances of having myalgic encephalomyelitis (chronic fatigue syndrome) as an adult. Kids who lose a parent have triple the risk of depression in their lifetimes. Children whose parents divorce are twice as likely to suffer a stroke later down the line.

Laura and John’s stories illustrate that the past can tick away inside us for decades like a silent time bomb, until it sets off a cellular message that lets us know the body does not forget its history.

Something that happened to you when you were five or 15 can land you in the hospital 30 years later

John’s ACE score would be a 3: a parent often put him down; he witnessed his mother being harmed; and, clearly, his father suffered from an undiagnosed behaviour health disorder, perhaps narcissism or depression, or both.

Laura had an ACE score of 4.

Laura and John are hardly alone. Two-thirds of American adults are carrying wounds from childhood quietly into adulthood, with little or no idea of the extent to which these wounds affect their daily health and wellbeing. Something that happened to you when you were five or 15 can land you in the hospital 30 years later, whether that something was headline news, or happened quietly, without anyone else knowing it, in the living room of your childhood home.

The adversity a child faces doesn’t have to be severe abuse in order to create deep biophysical changes that can lead to chronic health conditions in adulthood.

‘Our findings showed that the 10 different types of adversity we examined were almost equal in their damage,’ says Felitti. He and Anda found that no single ACE significantly trumped another. This was true even though some types, such as being sexually abused, are far worse in that society regards them as particularly shameful, and others, such as physical abuse, are more overt in their violence.

This makes sense if you think about how the stress response functions on an optimal level. You meet a bear in the woods, and your body floods with adrenaline and cortisol so that you can quickly decide whether to run in the opposite direction or stay and try to frighten the bear. After you deal with the crisis, you recover, your stress hormones abate, and you go home with a great story. For Laura and John, though, that feeling that the bear is still out there, somewhere, circling in the woods, stalking, and might strike again any day, anytime – that feeling never disappears.

There are a lot of bears out there. Chronic parental discord; enduring low-dose humiliation or blame and shame; chronic teasing; the quiet divorce between two secretly seething parents; a parent’s premature exit from a child’s life; the emotional scars of growing up with a hypercritical, unsteady, narcissistic, bipolar, alcoholic, addicted or depressed parent; physical or emotional abuse or neglect: these happen in all too many families. Although the details of individual adverse experiences differ from one home to another and from one neighbourhood to another, they are all precursors to the same organic chemical changes deep in the gray matter of the developing brain.

Every few decades, a groundbreaking psychosocial ‘theory of everything’ helps us to develop a new understanding of why we are the way we are – and how we got that way. In the early 20th century, the psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud transformed the landscape of psychology when he argued that the unconscious rules much of our waking life and dreams. Jungian theory taught, among other ideas, that we tend toward introversion or extroversion, which led the American educationalist Katharine Cook Briggs and her daughter Isabel Briggs Myers to develop a personality indicator. More recently, neuroscientists discovered that age ‘zero to three’ was a critical synaptic window for brain development, giving birth to Head Start and other preschool programmes. The correlation between childhood trauma, brain architecture and adult wellbeing is the newest, and perhaps our most important, psychobiological theory of everything.

Today’s research on adverse childhood experiences revolutionises how we see ourselves, our understanding of how we came to be the way we are, why we love the way we do, how we can better nurture our children, and how we can work to realise our potential.

To date, more than 1,500 studies founded on Felitti and Anda’s hallmark ACE research show that both physical and emotional suffering are rooted in the complex workings of the immune system, the body’s master operating control centre – and what happens to the brain during childhood sets the programming for how our immune systems will respond for the rest of our lives.

The unifying principle of this new theory of everything is this: your emotional biography becomes your physical biology, and together, they write much of the script for how you will live your life. Put another way: your early stories script your biology and your biology scripts the way your life will play out.

Unlike previous theories of everything, though, this one has been mind-bogglingly slow to change how we do medicine, according to Felitti. ‘Very few internists or medical schools are interested in embracing the added responsibility that this understanding imposes on them.’

With the ACE research now available, we might hope that physicians will begin to see patients as a holistic sum of their experiences and embrace the understanding that a stressor from long ago can be a health-risk time bomb that has exploded. Such a medical paradigm, which sees adverse childhood experiences as one of many key factors that can play a role in disease, could save many patients years in the healing process.

But seeing that connection takes a little time. It means asking patients to fill out the ACE questionnaire and delving into that patient’s history for insight into sources of both physical and emotional pain. As health-care budgets have become stretched, physicians spend less time interacting one-on-one with patients in their exam rooms; the average physician schedules patients back-to-back at 15-minute intervals.

Still, the cost of not intervening is far greater – not only in the loss of human health and wellbeing, but also in additional healthcare. According to the CDC, the total lifetime cost of child maltreatment in the US is $124 billion each year. The lifetime healthcare cost for each individual who experiences childhood maltreatment is estimated at $210,012 – comparable to other costly health conditions, such as having a stroke, which has a lifetime estimated cost of $159,846 per person, or type-2 diabetes, which is estimated to cost between $181,000 and $253,000.

Further hindering change is the fact that adult physical medicine and psychological medicine remain in separate silos. Utilising ACE research requires breaking down these long-standing divisions in healthcare between what is ‘physical’ and what is ‘mental’ or ‘emotional,’ and that’s hard to achieve. Physicians have been well-trained to deal only with what they can touch with their hands, see with their eyes, or view with microscopes or scans.

Just as physical wounds and bruises heal, just as we can regain our muscle tone, we can recover function in underconnected areas of the brain

However, now that we have scientific evidence that the brain is genetically modified by childhood experience, we can no longer draw that line in the sand. With hundreds of studies showing that childhood adversity hurts our mental and physical health, putting us at greater risk for learning disorders, cardiovascular disease, autoimmune disease, depression, obesity, suicide, substance abuse, failed relationships, violence, poor parenting and early death, we just can’t afford to make such distinctions.

Science tells us that biology does not have to be destiny. ACEs can last a lifetime, but they don’t have to. Just as physical wounds and bruises heal, just as we can regain our muscle tone, we can recover function in underconnected areas of the brain. If anything, that’s the most important take-away from ACE research: the brain and body are never static; they are always in the process of becoming and changing.

Even if we have been set on high-reactive mode for decades or a lifetime, we can still dial it down. We can respond to life’s inevitable stressors more appropriately and shift away from an overactive inflammatory response. We can become neurobiologically resilient. We can turn bad epigenetics into good epigenetics and rescue ourselves. We have the capacity, within ourselves, to create better health. We might call this brave undertaking ‘the neurobiology of awakening’.

Today, scientists recognise a range of promising approaches to help create new neurons (known as neurogenesis), make new synaptic connections between those neurons (known as synaptogenesis), promote new patterns of thoughts and reactions, bring underconnected areas of the brain back online – and reset our stress response so that we decrease the inflammation that makes us ill.

You can find ways to start right where you are, no matter how deep your scars or how long ago they occurred. Many mind-body therapies not only help you to calm your thoughts and increase your emotional and physical wellbeing, but research suggests that they have the potential to reverse, on a biological level, the harmful impact of childhood adversity.

Recent studies indicate that individuals who practice mindfulness meditation and mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) show an increase in gray matter in parts of the brain associated with managing stress, and experience shifts in genes that regulate their stress response and their levels of inflammatory hormones. Other research suggests that a process known as neurofeedback can help to regrow connections in the brain that were lost to adverse childhood experiences.

Meditation, mindfulness, neurofeedback, cognitive therapy, EMDR (eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing) therapy: these promising new avenues to healing can be part of any patient’s recovery plan, if only healthcare practitioners would begin to treat the whole patient – past, present and future, without making distinctions between physical and mental health – and encourage patients to explore all the treatment options available to them. The more we learn about the toxic impact of early stress, the better equipped we are to counter its effects, and help to uncover new strategies and modalities to come back to who it is we really are, and who it was we might have been had we not encountered childhood adversity in the first place.

This is an adapted and reprinted extract from ‘Childhood Disrupted: How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology, and How You Can Heal’ (Atria), by Donna Jackson Nakazawa. Copyright © Donna Jackson Nakazawa, 2015.