Finding Out Where Joy Resides









Many folks come to us to address a chronic issue; chronic fatigue, chronic headaches, chronic back pain; chronic sciatica, chronic depression, chronic anger, and the list goes on.  This is where the journey begins, but it is not where it ends.  Once the chronic symptoms are addressed, the patient generally becomes so curious that she wants to know how deep the rabbit hole goes into her psyche.

She wants to not only find out the aetiology for the chronic pain, but she knows intuitively that something lurks beyond the cause, something so rarified that she may have never known it’s purity this lifetime.  Once the shocks, blocks and traumas are out of her way, she teases back the curtain to find where the joy resides.  She observes this new way of being even though it frightens her.

She realizes her chronic symptoms kept her from knowing this state of being.  What now?  Over several weeks, she fans her newfound “growledge,”  developing inch by inch her courage  to know herself in a way that she’s never apprehended before. She cautiously reaches for the joy  that resides just beyond her grasp.  She pulls back, afraid.  What if it’s transitory like all the other times she tried to know her wishes?!

She reaches, again, and it tickles her back.  She wonders if anyone is watching, if they can see the Kaos in her.  Her pure awe grows in the face of this newly realized essential self.  She remembers feeling like this as the tiniest child.  She realizes now, that the joy isn’t fleeting, but that the hardest task ahead will be to realize that she deserves it.


#joy #heilkunst #homeopathy #selfknowledge #beyondchronicdisease #beyondchronicsymptoms #hahnemannsaphroism9 #dontmissitall #theall

How to Mitigate Those Big Healing Reactions

imgres-1 A few patients have said to me, “You know, Ally, I was a little freaked out to start my own Heilkunst Treatment due to the massive healing reactions you illustrated in your book, “The Path To Cure“. How can we prevent these from happening to me?” The following is illustrative of how we’ve “come a long way Baby!”

When Jordan and I were first treated using Heilkunst principles back in the late 1990s, the principles of Regimen were not wholly nailed down yet. So much can be done by ensuring that your nutritional groundwork is sound, and that you’re supplementing appropriately to support your physical body (“ground substance”).

We also ensure that your system is able to detoxify more easily through principled medicine using certain foods, chelation protocols and homeopathic remedies not wholly understood back then for inviting channels in the body to open. This knowledge now allows for the process of letting go the material/emotional content more easily from the body.

The other thing is that we use Flower Essences (the Bach remedies being one better known example of them) in order to lovingly support the system using a more feminine gesture of care and love to “change your mind” gently. This enables us to alleviate you of your disease load while also gently supporting your system with healative flower essences.

We’ve also completed postgraduate research in advanced Heilkunst therapeutics including medical orgone therapeutics, Character Analysis, cognitive therapies, and Anthroposophical Medicine which enables us to help you to release the buried content at your emotional and spiritual core more easily. These studies were not available when we were going through our own Heilkunst Treatment.

The last element that we bring is almost 10 years of CoRe Bioresonance Feedback, enabling us to do a review of the phenomenon around the healing reaction and we’re able to broadcast both pathic and tonic remedies (ie remedies to relieve symptoms and remedies to address root causes of disease) immediately to the patient suffering a challenging healing reaction. We can even discern which books, movies, essential oils, Reckeweg, Anthroposophical, Lanthanide remedies, etc. would help you through this challenging time of flux and healing.


No need to suffer as I did, for as long as I did! Also, EQ constitutions like mine … well, we’re a bit like Drama Queens (with a capital “D” and a capital “Q”!). A Silicea constitution would never think to have healing reactions as juicy as mine! We’ve got lots of tools, now, to help pull you out of a tailspin.

Here are a couple of blog posts further explaining the reason why some healing reactions are so large, and some alternative dose and potency methods for delivering the remedies:









The Myths and Misconceptions of Couples Counselling



Healthy relationships are a function of Love, commitment and a mature consciousness  It can be tough to enter into our imaginations to look into the future with regards to the dynamics of the relationship with clear, honest eyes.  Most folks know, unequivocally, at the altar whether or not they are making a mistake and due to social pressures, will go through with it anyway while the pulse races and the mind screams in protest.  Pre-Marriage Counselling can be the most intelligent and Love-imbued activity you can engage with on behalf of yourself in order to shed a conscious light on the myths and misconceptions of a prospective union with another.


A popular but mistaken belief is that the main factors contributing to a long marriage are luck and love; instead, commitment and companionship actually play a more important role.  In fact, one has to be committed to being their own intimate companion first!  What this means, simply, is that I can only be as intimately connected to another as I am already committed to myself and my own feelings first.  For example, when you are feeling anxious, ask yourself how you are really feeling?  Sink down, below the anxiety into the pit of your stomach.  What is the feeling?  Generally, it is a deep seated and more deeply rooted fear.  If you are able to connect to “the feeling” the crux of the anxiety, and name it out loud, watch the shifts that occur in your body as the breath deepens and you relax.  If you are able to execute these connections to yourself, first, then you simply can offer this same capacity to connect to yourself to your beloved.  It actual fact, I can only connect to another human being to the degree that I am already connected to all aspects of myself; especially my deeper feelings.





Conflict is not unusual or abnormal in a relationship; actually it can be the most illuminating tool to know the self if used constructively.  Freud called this phenomenon “transference.”  If I am displaying blame, criticism, or a false desire to fix someone else, what I am actually attempting to leverage from my subconscious is my fear, grief, anger, guilt and resentment by projecting onto the other person.  If I can train myself to read these projections before they are projected inappropriately onto my beloved, I convert lead into gold!  This is the secret behind Paracelus’ Alchemy. Alternatively, if someone chooses to live an unconscious life, they will keep projecting the same content over and over again based on deep seated karmic patterns and harbored diseases that keep one sadly puppeted by their unconscious; or neurotic and psychotic material.  Once we learn to hold the charge of a deeper inner consciousness with the realization that I’m about to project it onto someone else, I can illuminate the unconscious into consciousness.  Pre-marriage counselling, by an illuminated and trusted mentor can help us to face the content we harbor, poised to projected onto the tableau of an innocent marriage.  For example, if I notice I’m jealous, for example, rather than anxiously blaming or accusing my beloved, I can thoughtfully engage in the root cause which is my utter insecurity and fear that I may be abandoned.  In fact, in the case of jealousy, it is typically a sub-conscious projection of your little kid-fears that your are not worth being wholly committed to that was illustrated to you in early childhood by Mommy or Daddy.  Most of this content has been harbored before the tender age of three.


imagesPrincipled counselling is only to be used to avoid a negative situation like an imminent divorce; rather than a positive goal of consciously building a healthy, fulfilling relationship.  All negative self-perceptions have the capacity to be transmuted into a benefit for yourself and subsequently the relationship.  It takes courage to sink into the muck and mire of your deepest fears and hatred.  Once down in the content of the demiurge at your core, you realize that as you clear the brambles with your sword of truth, it is just the whining and little kid fears of your early childhood still holding you prey.  If you can pick up this side of yourself, the abandoned toddler, and purvey her/him out of the darkness with compassion and love, you will see that the positive goal of consciously building a healthy, fulfilling relationship, actually begins in your own loins!  If you can rescue yourself first, you don’t project your insecurities and demands to be rescued by your partner day after day.  This is the most liberating, mature and whole way of being in relationship.  Can you imagine what our relationships could look like if we are both already rescued and whole; our salvation completely bagged and intact?  There would be no end to the love, abundance and creativity we could explore.


Another myth is that “mature” or “smart” couples don’t need outside help to solve any conflicts or issues.  Self-intelligence does not necessarily come from having a PHd. or from living a long time.  Wisdom or as the Greeks spouted, “Know thyself” is a function of courage, the true capacity to face all your feelings in an honest, forthright, way and allowing your fears to convert into hope, hate into love, jealousy into faith, and grief into compassion and tenderness.  The intellect is not “smart” or “mature,” in fact it is a child barely out of diapers, living out of the past or projected into the future.  It is a moralizing junky that only knows how to compartmentalize, or analyze, trying to shove every feeling into filing drawers of the mind too small and contracted to fit them.  Feelings just don’t fit the intellectual construct and will spew onto the outer landscape, generally projected wrongly onto others.  It is a hot-flash of unconscious emotion.  When we walk it down into the nether part of our being, face our truer base emotions, they will naturally convert into right thinking, informed and imbued with heat, enthusiasm and orgastic love.  This is a more righteous definition for the state of maturity bourn out of a deep self-knowledge.  This way of being connected to he self is sexy beyond words!  Being the mature, realized, conscious being that you are naturally destroys the myths and misconceptions of the victim, prey-like self.


images-2One misconception with far reaching implications is that having children will bring a couple closer together or patch up existing problems.  What fears, anger, grief and resentment we can’t raise into consciousness out of love, actually becomes the prison projected onto the next generation.  What we bear from our loins carries the same limitations, or alternatively, the love and hope we’ve consciously become. Our babes are a mirror of our limitations or the triumphs of our celebrated lives.  The myths and misconceptions of pre-marriage counselling are that it can’t help.  That is true if I’m hell-bent on self-destruction.  Sadly, folks poised on remaining unconscious, perilously lost in the darkness, puppeted by unconscious acts that keep them, their partners and their off-spring trapped in karmic and disease patterns will perpetuate out of  law; the law of resonance.  

Appropriate pre-marriage counselling with a an inspirational mentor trained in the principles of Character Analysis and Orgone Therapies (enabling to access the pre-verbal ages from pre-womb to about 3 or 4 years where most patterning started) can help the individuals seeking coupledom as a function of their personal evolution be the most illuminating journey imaginable.  This is not for the faint of heart and few will own the courage to plunge into these depths, however, a mentor who has journeyed the same route before you, fully conscious, trained and illuminated can be a God-send.  It is time for us to cure ourselves, our relationships, our marriages and then only foster our children out of this deep abiding knowledge and love.  A whole, healthy, sovereign and autonomous self will create the opposite qualities in a partner.  Work on yourself first, or in conjunction with your relationship, as individual wholeness will burn off the predisposition for dysfunction and co-dependency.

Childhood, disrupted

An excellent article, published on Aeon on how childhood trauma manifests as physical disease later on:

Adversity in childhood can create long-lasting scars, damaging our cells and our DNA, and making us sick as adults

by Donna Jackson Nakazawa










Photo by Charles Gullung/Gallery Stock


If you saw Laura walking down the New York City street where she lives today, you’d see a well-dressed 46-year-old woman with auburn hair and green eyes, who exudes a sense of ‘I matter here.’ She looks entirely in charge of her life, but behind Laura’s confident demeanour lies a history of trauma: a bipolar mother who vacillated between braiding her daughter’s hair and peppering her with insults, and a father who moved out-of-state with his wife-to-be when Laura was 15 years old.

She recalls a family trip to the Grand Canyon when she was 10. In a photo taken that day, Laura and her parents sit on a bench, sporting tourist whites. ‘Anyone looking at us would have assumed that we were a normal, loving family.’ But as they put on fake smiles for the camera, Laura’s mother suddenly pinched her daughter’s midriff and told her to stop ‘staring off into space’. A second pinch: ‘No wonder you’re turning into a butterball, you ate so much cheesecake last night you’re hanging over your shorts!’ If you look hard at Laura’s face in the photograph, you can see that she’s not squinting at the Arizona sun, but holding back tears.

After her father left the family, he sent cards and money, but called less and less. Meanwhile, her mother’s untreated bipolar disorder worsened. Sometimes, Laura says: ‘My mom would go on a vitriolic diatribe about my dad until spittle foamed on her chin. I’d stand there, trying not to hear her as she went on and on, my whole body shaking inside.’ Laura never invited friends over, for fear they’d find out her secret: her mom ‘wasn’t like other moms’.

Some 30 years later, Laura says: ‘In many ways, no matter where I go or what I do, I’m still in my mother’s house.’ Today, ‘If a car swerves into my lane, a grocery store clerk is rude, my husband and I argue, or my boss calls me in to talk over a problem, I feel something flip over inside. It’s like there’s a match standing inside too near a flame, and with the smallest breeze, it ignites.’

To see Laura, you’d never know that she is ‘always shaking a little, only invisibly, deep down in my cells’.

Her sense that something is wrong inside is mirrored by her physical health. During a routine exam, Laura’s doctor discovered that Laura was suffering from dilated cardiomyopathy and would require a cardioverter defibrillator to keep her heart pumping. The two-inch scar from her surgery only hints at the more severe scars she hides from her childhood.

For as long as John can remember, he says, his parents’ marriage was deeply troubled, as was his relationship with his father. ‘I consider myself to have been raised by my mom and her mom. I longed to feel a deeper connection with my dad, but it just wasn’t there. He couldn’t extend himself in that way.’ John’s poor relationship with his father was due, in large part, to his father’s reactivity and need for control. For instance, if John’s father said that the capital of New York was New York City, there was just no use telling him that it was Albany.

As John got older, it seemed wrong to him that his father ‘was constantly pointing out all the mistakes that my brother and I made, without acknowledging any of his own’. His father relentlessly criticised his mother, who was ‘kinder and more confident’. Aged 12, John began to interject himself into the fights between his parents. He remembers one Christmas Eve, when he found his father with his hands around his mother’s neck and had to separate them. ‘I was always trying to be the adult between them,’ John says.

John is now a boyish 40, with warm hazel eyes and a wide, affable grin. But beneath his easy, open demeanour, he struggles with an array of chronic illnesses. By the time he was 33, his blood pressure was shockingly high; he began to experience bouts of stabbing stomach pain and diarrhoea and often had blood in his stool; he struggled from headaches almost daily. By 34, he’d developed chronic fatigue, and was so wiped out that he sometimes struggled to make it through an entire workday.

John’s relationships, like his body, were never completely healthy. He ended a year?long romance with a woman he deeply loved because he felt riddled with anxiety around her normal, ‘happy family’. He just didn’t know how to fit in. ‘She wanted to help,’ he says, ‘but instead of telling her how insecure I was around her, I told her I wasn’t in love with her.’ Bleeding from his inflamed intestines, exhausted by chronic fatigue, debilitated and distracted by pounding headaches, often struggling with work, and unable to feel comfortable in a relationship, John was stuck in a universe of pain and solitude, and he couldn’t get out.

Laura’s and John’s life stories illustrate the physical price we can pay, as adults, for trauma that took place 10, 20, even 30 years ago. New findings in neuroscience, psychology and immunology tell us that the adversity we face during childhood has farther-reaching consequences than we might ever have imagined. Today, in labs across the country, neuroscientists are peering into the once-inscrutable brain-body connection, and breaking down, on a biochemical level, exactly how the stress we experience during childhood and adolescence catches up with us when we are adults, altering our bodies, our cells, and even our DNA.

Emotional stress in adult life affects us on a physical level in quantifiable, life-altering ways. We all know that when we are stressed, chemicals and hormones can flush our body and increase levels of inflammation. That’s why stressful events in adult life are correlated with the likelihood of getting a cold or having a heart attack.

But when children or teens face adversity and especially unpredictable stressors, they are left with deeper, longer?lasting scars. When the young brain is thrust into stressful situations over and over again without warning, and stress hormones are repeatedly ramped up, small chemical markers, known as methyl groups, adhere to specific genes that regulate the activity of stress?hormone receptors in the brain. These epigenetic changes hamper the body’s ability to turn off the stress response. In ideal circumstances, a child learns to respond to stress, and recover from it, learning resilience. But kids who’ve faced chronic, unpredictable stress undergo biological changes that cause their inflammatory stress response to stay activated.

Joan Kaufman, director of the Child and Adolescent Research and Education (CARE) programme at the Yale School of Medicine, recently analysed DNA in the saliva of happy, healthy children, and of children who had been taken from abusive or neglectful parents. The children who’d experienced chronic childhood stress showed epigenetic changes in almost 3,000 sites on their DNA, and on all 23 chromosomes – altering how appropriately they would be able to respond to and rebound from future stressors.

Kids who’ve had early adversity have a drip of fight-or-flight hormones turned on every day – it’s as if there is no off switch

Likewise, Seth Pollak, professor of psychology and director of the Child Emotion Research Laboratory at the University of Wisconsin at Madison, uncovered startling genetic changes in children with a history of adversity and trauma. Pollak identified damage to a gene responsible for calming the stress response. This particular gene wasn’t working properly; the kids’ bodies weren’t able to reign in their heightened stress response. ‘A crucial set of brakes are off,’ says Pollak.

Imagine for a moment that your body receives its stress hormones and chemicals through an IV drip that’s turned on high when needed and, when the crisis passes, it’s switched off again. You might think of kids whose brains have undergone epigenetic changes because of early adversity as having an inflammation-promoting drip of fight-or-flight hormones turned on every day – it’s as if there is no off switch.

Experiencing stress in childhood changes your set point of wellbeing for decades to come. In people such as Laura and John, the endocrine and immune systems are churning out a damaging and inflammatory cocktail of stress neurochemicals in response to even small stressors – an unexpected bill, a disagreement with their spouse, a car that swerves in front of them on the highway, a creak on the staircase – for the rest of their lives. They might find themselves overreacting to, and less able to recover from, the inevitable stressors of life. They’re always responding. And all the while, they’re unwittingly marinating in inflammatory chemicals, which sets the stage for full-throttle disease down the road, in the form of autoimmune disease, heart disease, cancer, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, fibroid tumours, irritable bowel syndrome, ulcers, migraines and asthma.

Scientists first came to understand the relationship between early chronic stress and later adult disease through the work of a dedicated physician in San Diego and a determined epidemiologist from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) in Atlanta. Together, during the 1980s and ’90s – the years when Laura and John were growing up – these two researchers began a paradigm-shifting public-health investigation known as the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study.

In 1985, Vincent J Felitti, chief of a revolutionary preventive care initiative at the Kaiser Permanente Medical Care programme in San Diego, noticed a startling pattern in adult patients at an obesity clinic. A significant number were, with the support of Felitti and his nurses, successfully losing hundreds of pounds a year, a remarkable feat, only to withdraw from the programme despite weight-loss success. Felitti, determined to get to the bottom of the attrition rate, conducted face-to-face interviews with 286 patients. It turned out there was a common denominator. Many confided that they had suffered some sort of trauma, often sexual abuse, in their childhoods. To these patients, eating was a solution, not a problem: it soothed the anxiety and depression they had harboured for decades; their weight served as a shield against undesired attention, and they didn’t want to let it go.

Felitti’s interviews gave him a new way of looking at human health and wellbeing that other physicians just weren’t seeing. He presented his findings at a national obesity conference, arguing that ‘our intractable public health problems’ had root causes hidden ‘by shame, by secrecy, and by social taboos against exploring certain areas of life experience’. Felitti’s peers were quick to blast him. One even stood up in the audience and accused Felitti of offering ‘excuses’ for patients’ ‘failed lives’. Felitti, however, remained unfazed; he felt sure that he had stumbled upon a piece of information that would hold enormous import for the field of medicine.

After a colleague who attended that same conference suggested that he design a study with thousands of patients who suffered from a wide variety of diseases, not just obesity, Felitti joined forces with Robert Anda, a medical epidemiologist at the CDC who had, at the time, been researching the relationship between coronary heart disease and depression. Felitti and Anda took advantage of Kaiser Permanente’s vast patient cohort to set up a national epidemiology laboratory. Of the 26,000 patients they invited to take part in their study, more than 17,000 agreed.

Anda and Felitti surveyed these 17,000 individuals on about 10 types of adversity, or adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), probing into patients’ childhood and adolescent histories. Questions included: ‘Was a biological parent ever lost to you through divorce, abandonment or other reason?’; ‘Did a parent or other adult in the household often swear at you, insult you, put you down or humiliate you?’; and ‘Was a household member depressed or mentally ill?’ Other questions looked at types of family dysfunction that included growing up with a parent who was an alcoholic or addicted to other substances; being physically or emotionally neglected; being sexually or physically abused; witnessing domestic violence; having a family member who was sent to prison; feeling that there was no one to provide protection; and feeling that one’s family didn’t look out for each other. For each category to which a patient responded ‘yes’, one point would be added to her ACE score, so an ACE score of 2 would indicate that she had suffered two adverse childhood experiences.

To be clear, the patients Felitti and Anda surveyed were not troubled or disadvantaged; the average patient was 57, and three-quarters had attended college. These were ‘successful’ men and women, mostly white, middle-class, with stable jobs and health benefits. Felitti and Anda expected their number of ‘yes’ answers to be fairly low.

The correlation between having a difficult childhood and facing illness as an adult offered a whole new lens through which we could view human health and disease

When the results came in, Felitti and Anda were shocked: 64 per cent of participants answered ‘yes’ to having encountered at least one category of early adversity, and 87 per cent of those patients also had additional adverse childhood experiences; 40 per cent had suffered two or more ACEs; 12.5 per cent had an ACE score greater than or equal to 4.

Felitti and Anda wanted to find out whether there was a correlation between the number of adverse childhood experiences an individual had faced, and the number and severity of illnesses and disorders she developed as an adult. The correlation proved so powerful that Anda was not only ‘stunned’, but deeply moved.

‘I wept,’ he says. ‘I saw how much people had suffered, and I wept.’

Felitti, too, was deeply affected. ‘Our findings exceeded anything we had conceived. The correlation between having a difficult childhood and facing illness as an adult offered a whole new lens through which we could view human health and disease.’

Here, says Felitti, ‘was the missing piece as to what was causing so much of our unspoken suffering as human beings’.

The number of adverse childhood experiences a patient had suffered could by and large predict the amount of medical care she would require in adulthood: the higher the ACE score, the higher the number of doctor’s appointments she’d had in the past year, and the more unexplained physical symptoms she’d reported.

People with an ACE score of 4 were twice as likely to be diagnosed with cancer than people who hadn’t faced any form of childhood adversity. For each point an individual had, her chance of being hospitalised with an autoimmune disease in adulthood rose 20 per cent. Someone with an ACE score of 4 was 460 per cent more likely to face depression than someone with a score of 0.

An ACE score of 6 or higher shortened an individual’s lifespan by almost 20 years.

Researchers wondered if those who encountered childhood adversity were also more likely to smoke, drink and overeat as a sort of coping strategy, and while that was sometimes the case, unhealthy habits didn’t wholly account for the correlation Felitti and Anda saw between adverse childhood experiences and later illness. For instance, those with ACE scores greater than or equal to 7 who didn’t drink or smoke, weren’t overweight or diabetic, and didn’t have high cholesterol stillhad a 360 per cent higher risk of heart disease than those with ACE scores of 0.

‘Time,’ says Felitti, ‘does not heal all wounds. One does not “just get over” something – not even 50 years later.’ Instead, he says: ‘Time conceals. And human beings convert traumatic emotional experiences in childhood into organic disease later in life.’

Often, these illnesses can be chronic and lifelong. Autoimmune disease. Heart disease. Chronic bowel disorders. Migraines. Persistent depression. Even today, doctors puzzle over these very conditions: why are they so prevalent; why are some patients more prone to them than others; and why are they so difficult to treat?

The more research that’s done, the more granular details emerge about the profound link between adverse experiences and adult disease. Scientists at Duke University in North Carolina, the University of California, San Francisco, and Brown University in Rhode Island have shown that childhood adversity damages us on a cellular level in ways that prematurely age our cells and affect our longevity. Adults who faced early life stress show greater erosion in what are known as telomeres – protective caps that sit on the ends of DNA strands to keep the DNA healthy and intact. As telomeres erode, we’re more likely to develop disease, and we age faster; as our telomeres age and expire, our cells expire and so, eventually, do we.

Researchers have also seen a correlation between specific types of adverse childhood experiences and a range of diseases. For instance, children whose parents die, or who face emotional or physical abuse, or experience childhood neglect, or witness marital discord between their parents are more likely to develop cardiovascular disease, lung disease, diabetes, headaches, multiple sclerosis and lupus as adults. Facing difficult circumstances in childhood increases six-fold your chances of having myalgic encephalomyelitis (chronic fatigue syndrome) as an adult. Kids who lose a parent have triple the risk of depression in their lifetimes. Children whose parents divorce are twice as likely to suffer a stroke later down the line.

Laura and John’s stories illustrate that the past can tick away inside us for decades like a silent time bomb, until it sets off a cellular message that lets us know the body does not forget its history.

Something that happened to you when you were five or 15 can land you in the hospital 30 years later

John’s ACE score would be a 3: a parent often put him down; he witnessed his mother being harmed; and, clearly, his father suffered from an undiagnosed behaviour health disorder, perhaps narcissism or depression, or both.

Laura had an ACE score of 4.

Laura and John are hardly alone. Two-thirds of American adults are carrying wounds from childhood quietly into adulthood, with little or no idea of the extent to which these wounds affect their daily health and wellbeing. Something that happened to you when you were five or 15 can land you in the hospital 30 years later, whether that something was headline news, or happened quietly, without anyone else knowing it, in the living room of your childhood home.

The adversity a child faces doesn’t have to be severe abuse in order to create deep biophysical changes that can lead to chronic health conditions in adulthood.

‘Our findings showed that the 10 different types of adversity we examined were almost equal in their damage,’ says Felitti. He and Anda found that no single ACE significantly trumped another. This was true even though some types, such as being sexually abused, are far worse in that society regards them as particularly shameful, and others, such as physical abuse, are more overt in their violence.

This makes sense if you think about how the stress response functions on an optimal level. You meet a bear in the woods, and your body floods with adrenaline and cortisol so that you can quickly decide whether to run in the opposite direction or stay and try to frighten the bear. After you deal with the crisis, you recover, your stress hormones abate, and you go home with a great story. For Laura and John, though, that feeling that the bear is still out there, somewhere, circling in the woods, stalking, and might strike again any day, anytime – that feeling never disappears.

There are a lot of bears out there. Chronic parental discord; enduring low-dose humiliation or blame and shame; chronic teasing; the quiet divorce between two secretly seething parents; a parent’s premature exit from a child’s life; the emotional scars of growing up with a hypercritical, unsteady, narcissistic, bipolar, alcoholic, addicted or depressed parent; physical or emotional abuse or neglect: these happen in all too many families. Although the details of individual adverse experiences differ from one home to another and from one neighbourhood to another, they are all precursors to the same organic chemical changes deep in the gray matter of the developing brain.

Every few decades, a groundbreaking psychosocial ‘theory of everything’ helps us to develop a new understanding of why we are the way we are – and how we got that way. In the early 20th century, the psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud transformed the landscape of psychology when he argued that the unconscious rules much of our waking life and dreams. Jungian theory taught, among other ideas, that we tend toward introversion or extroversion, which led the American educationalist Katharine Cook Briggs and her daughter Isabel Briggs Myers to develop a personality indicator. More recently, neuroscientists discovered that age ‘zero to three’ was a critical synaptic window for brain development, giving birth to Head Start and other preschool programmes. The correlation between childhood trauma, brain architecture and adult wellbeing is the newest, and perhaps our most important, psychobiological theory of everything.

Today’s research on adverse childhood experiences revolutionises how we see ourselves, our understanding of how we came to be the way we are, why we love the way we do, how we can better nurture our children, and how we can work to realise our potential.

To date, more than 1,500 studies founded on Felitti and Anda’s hallmark ACE research show that both physical and emotional suffering are rooted in the complex workings of the immune system, the body’s master operating control centre – and what happens to the brain during childhood sets the programming for how our immune systems will respond for the rest of our lives.

The unifying principle of this new theory of everything is this: your emotional biography becomes your physical biology, and together, they write much of the script for how you will live your life. Put another way: your early stories script your biology and your biology scripts the way your life will play out.

Unlike previous theories of everything, though, this one has been mind-bogglingly slow to change how we do medicine, according to Felitti. ‘Very few internists or medical schools are interested in embracing the added responsibility that this understanding imposes on them.’

With the ACE research now available, we might hope that physicians will begin to see patients as a holistic sum of their experiences and embrace the understanding that a stressor from long ago can be a health-risk time bomb that has exploded. Such a medical paradigm, which sees adverse childhood experiences as one of many key factors that can play a role in disease, could save many patients years in the healing process.

But seeing that connection takes a little time. It means asking patients to fill out the ACE questionnaire and delving into that patient’s history for insight into sources of both physical and emotional pain. As health-care budgets have become stretched, physicians spend less time interacting one-on-one with patients in their exam rooms; the average physician schedules patients back-to-back at 15-minute intervals.

Still, the cost of not intervening is far greater – not only in the loss of human health and wellbeing, but also in additional healthcare. According to the CDC, the total lifetime cost of child maltreatment in the US is $124 billion each year. The lifetime healthcare cost for each individual who experiences childhood maltreatment is estimated at $210,012 – comparable to other costly health conditions, such as having a stroke, which has a lifetime estimated cost of $159,846 per person, or type-2 diabetes, which is estimated to cost between $181,000 and $253,000.

Further hindering change is the fact that adult physical medicine and psychological medicine remain in separate silos. Utilising ACE research requires breaking down these long-standing divisions in healthcare between what is ‘physical’ and what is ‘mental’ or ‘emotional,’ and that’s hard to achieve. Physicians have been well-trained to deal only with what they can touch with their hands, see with their eyes, or view with microscopes or scans.

Just as physical wounds and bruises heal, just as we can regain our muscle tone, we can recover function in underconnected areas of the brain

However, now that we have scientific evidence that the brain is genetically modified by childhood experience, we can no longer draw that line in the sand. With hundreds of studies showing that childhood adversity hurts our mental and physical health, putting us at greater risk for learning disorders, cardiovascular disease, autoimmune disease, depression, obesity, suicide, substance abuse, failed relationships, violence, poor parenting and early death, we just can’t afford to make such distinctions.

Science tells us that biology does not have to be destiny. ACEs can last a lifetime, but they don’t have to. Just as physical wounds and bruises heal, just as we can regain our muscle tone, we can recover function in underconnected areas of the brain. If anything, that’s the most important take-away from ACE research: the brain and body are never static; they are always in the process of becoming and changing.

Even if we have been set on high-reactive mode for decades or a lifetime, we can still dial it down. We can respond to life’s inevitable stressors more appropriately and shift away from an overactive inflammatory response. We can become neurobiologically resilient. We can turn bad epigenetics into good epigenetics and rescue ourselves. We have the capacity, within ourselves, to create better health. We might call this brave undertaking ‘the neurobiology of awakening’.

Today, scientists recognise a range of promising approaches to help create new neurons (known as neurogenesis), make new synaptic connections between those neurons (known as synaptogenesis), promote new patterns of thoughts and reactions, bring underconnected areas of the brain back online – and reset our stress response so that we decrease the inflammation that makes us ill.

You can find ways to start right where you are, no matter how deep your scars or how long ago they occurred. Many mind-body therapies not only help you to calm your thoughts and increase your emotional and physical wellbeing, but research suggests that they have the potential to reverse, on a biological level, the harmful impact of childhood adversity.

Recent studies indicate that individuals who practice mindfulness meditation and mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) show an increase in gray matter in parts of the brain associated with managing stress, and experience shifts in genes that regulate their stress response and their levels of inflammatory hormones. Other research suggests that a process known as neurofeedback can help to regrow connections in the brain that were lost to adverse childhood experiences.

Meditation, mindfulness, neurofeedback, cognitive therapy, EMDR (eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing) therapy: these promising new avenues to healing can be part of any patient’s recovery plan, if only healthcare practitioners would begin to treat the whole patient – past, present and future, without making distinctions between physical and mental health – and encourage patients to explore all the treatment options available to them. The more we learn about the toxic impact of early stress, the better equipped we are to counter its effects, and help to uncover new strategies and modalities to come back to who it is we really are, and who it was we might have been had we not encountered childhood adversity in the first place.

This is an adapted and reprinted extract from ‘Childhood Disrupted: How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology, and How You Can Heal’ (Atria), by Donna Jackson Nakazawa. Copyright © Donna Jackson Nakazawa, 2015.

Book Review; The Art Of Falling Apart

The Art Of Falling Apart
Thank-you for sharing your book with me!
This is your most intimate, and illuminating, piece of work so far- it was a baptism by fire for sure!
You drew me into your inner world- taking me through the dark recesses of our primal fears, self-doubt, and the dying away of the false ego, to emerge, renewed and more wholly in relationship, with your Self and your life. It’s heartfelt, terrifying, beautiful, and inspiring.
Often practitioners are placed on a pedestal (or we falsely place ourselves on one). Because our work is to guide others towards ousting the false ego, resolving trauma and aiding in their trajectory towards claiming the essential self- we must, to a degree, be able to do this ourselves. Therefore, it is humbling when find that we still have a lot of personal work to do, and I think sometimes, we feel shame when we falter. We need to confront that fear of revealing, that we too, are still in a process of becoming. It is a vulnerable position, and yet, it is the very thing that is necessary.
With this book you have illustrated the darkest part of our unfoldment, where we enter into the recesses of our fears and assume, with full consciousness, who we are meant to be. Many of us turn away at this point, because it requires that we acknowledge, and act, on our truth. This is not easy, requiring that we stay with the chaos, and have faith, surrendering, and allowing, the facade to burn away. It can be wholly life-altering if we have built our relationships, and our lives, on who we thought we were (or felt we needed to be).  It’s seemingly easier to suppress symptoms and dis-ease, disassociate from our truth, and stay in our delusions, that is, until we are faced with our ultimatum. You have illustrated this so beautifully. I felt your fear, your brokenness, your self-doubt, your bravery.
Then you take us into the warm embrace of self-care, and the traversing of this passage, with tenderness and self-love. This is one of the toughest things for most of us to do. “What? Am I actually going to ask for, and do, what I need to get well? What about XYZ? I can’t.” Your false ego was flat-lined, and you did. I felt like I was there with you, building up your relationship with your self, acknowledging and acting on your desires. It was tender at first, and then I could feel your energy build. I felt the enthusiasm as your love function became activated, and celebrated, when you found yourself with your kin, wholly in love.
Your book felt like an intimate, resonant conversation; these are the conversations that I crave. It could only have been achieved if you allowed yourself to truly be seen, and to speak, from your heart, and from your truth. It is a remedy, truly, for those that are still pursuing this passage. With the sharing of your story, you become a maverick, and give others a hope, and faith in their capacity, to become who they are meant to be.
Thank-you Ally.
Let me know if you need anything else.

The Barbarous Act Of Circumcision

imgresIt is not right to mutilate the genitals of any human being.  It is a ruinous act designed to dull sensation in the male phallus so that he’s rendered more compliant by the standards set by religiosity and false authority.  There are no studies that can confirm that a circumcised male produces greater cleanliness.  These are myths that are ripe to be snipped from the landscape of our modern consciousness.

In this present day, even Judaism denounces the practice of Brit Milahs (ritual circumcision), given that eventually certain rituals run out of justification.  Heck, even women can now be ordained as rabbis.  If you hear a Jew, or anyone else, stating that ritual circumcision is justified on the basis of tradition, perhaps point out that the following are also “traditions” and were considered crimes, some punishable by death, according to the Torah (the first 5 books shared by the Christian Bible):

  • Cheating on your husband. (Lev. 20:10).
  • Fornicating – if you’re female. (Deut 22:21).
  • Homosexuality (Lev. 20:13).
  • Blasphemy (Lev. 24:16)
  • Insulting one’s parents. (Exod. 21:17)
  • Disobeying one’s parents. (Deut 21:18-21
  • Slavery (Exod 21:1-11) (Deut. 15:12-18)
  • Animal and human sacrifices. (Lev. 4:3, 4:23, 4:32, 5:7, 5:15; Judges 11:20, 11:33)
  • Divorce for men only. (Deut 24:1)
  • Female subservience to men including obedience to every order and no right to refuse sex. (Genesis 3:16)



Evolution is a function of human development and our basic human rights, not to cause harm, are inherent to our dominion under God; especially if it involves our physical, mental, and spiritual bodies.  As educated and enlightened beings, it is our right to defend our perfect babies against medical or religious interventions if we feel that they are in contraindication to their health and well-being.  In a deep state of reference for what is holy (and whole) in my child, I exercise my full liberty to protect both my son and daughter from interventions that are not congruent to their health or well-being. In fact, if you look at the top 10 Values of Judaism, you will realize that circumcision violates 90% of them:

Hebrew Phrase English Translation Why Circumcision violates this value
V’ahavta l’rayaha kamokha Love of others If you love your baby, you don’t torture and mutilate his genitals.
Tzedakah Justice/responsibility It is not just or responsible to strap a baby down and mutilate his sex organs.
Gemilut hasadim Kindness/compassion It is not kind or compassionate to strap a baby down and mutilate his sex organs.
Talmud torah Love of learning It’s time we learn to stop mutilating babies. It’s a no-brainer.
Hakhnasat orhim Welcoming guests/strangers It is not welcoming to strap a newborn baby down and mutilate his sex organs.
Shalom bayit Peace/harmony in home/family It does not ensure/ help peace and harmony when you strap a baby down and torture him. He will never trust you again and he will remember.
Tikkun olam Perfecting the world We’d be more perfect if we stopped torturing and mutilating little boy’s sex organs. God made us perfect. It is blasphemy to think we know better.
Pikuah nefesh Sanctity of life Babies have died during circumcision, therefore it violates the sanctity of life.
Hemirat lashon Sanctity of language
Anava Modesty/humility It is not modest to strap a baby down naked in front of people.

Source:   imgres-1

Even the famed medieval rabbi, Moses Maimonides, stated that ritual circumcision was probably designed to dull the desire in a man for masturbation and sexual intercourse.  He states,

Part III, Chapter 49, Page 609:

“Similarly with regard to circumcision, one of the reasons for it is, in my opinion, the wish to bring about a decrease in sexual intercourse and a weakening of the organ in question, so that this activity be diminished and the organ be in as quiet a state as possible. It has been thought that circumcision perfects what is defective congenitally. This gave the possibility to everyone to raise an objection and to say: How can natural things be defective so that they need to be perfected from outside, all the more because we know how useful the foreskin is for that member? In fact this commandment has not been prescribed with a view to perfecting what is defective congenitally, but to perfecting what is defective morally. The bodily pain caused to that member is the real purpose of circumcision. None of the activities necessary for the preservation of the individual is harmed thereby, nor is procreation rendered impossible, but violent concupiscence and lust that goes beyond what is needed are diminished. The fact that circumcision weakens the faculty of sexual excitement and sometimes perhaps diminishes the pleasure is indubitable. For if at birth this member has been made to bleed and has had its covering taken away from it, it must indubitably be weakened. The Sages, may their memory be blessed, have explicitly stated: It is hard for a woman with whom an uncircumcised man has had sexual intercourse to separate from him. In my opinion this is the strongest of the reasons for circumcision.”

Page 611:

“This class of commandments also includes the prohibition against mutilating the sexual organs of all the males of animals, which is based on the principle of righteous statutes and judgments, I mean the principle of keeping the mean in all matters; sexual intercourse should neither be excessively indulged, as we have mentioned, nor wholly abolished. Did He not command and say: Be fruitful and multiply? Accordingly this organ is weakened by means of circumcision, but not extirpated through excision. What is natural is left according to nature, but measures are taken against excess. He that is wounded in the stones or hath his privy member cut off is forbidden to marry a woman of Israel, for such cohabitation would be perverted and aimless. Such a marriage would likewise be a stumbling block for the woman and for him who seeks her out. This is very clear. Source: THE GUIDE TO THE PERPLEXED, Maimonides, Moses, translated by Shlomo Pines. (University of Chicago, 1963) The whole basis for the bris is actually halachically forbidden; which means that it is clearly against the fundamentals of Jewish Law.  It no longer should inform our behaviours towards our healthy, intact, sons whether we identify as Jewish or not.  It is our job to preserve the sanctity of each human life, especially for those who trust us not to betray that trust.  As a mother who feels inordinate guilt for allowing the bris to take place on my own son, in my own home, I repent deeply for this travesty upon my beautiful son. Even though, I fought against the rabbi and my in-laws, knowing instinctively, that strapping my son down to a board to have his genitals cut went against what I felt was right, I was weak in the face of their pressure.  I asked that given his prematurity that the procedure be delayed for 6 weeks after birth and that he be brought to me immediately after to sooth and nurse him.  If I’d only had the knowledge that Halaka (Jewish Law) dictates that since there is a danger to the babe’s life, medically hazardous procedures are strictly forbidden taking precedence over all else.  My son had been born 2 months premature, I would have had plenty of justification in light of the information researched for this article. “It is a violation of Torah commandments to physically assault or harm another person (Exodus 21:18-27). Yet that is exactly what circumcision is! Thus, it is against the most fundamental concept of Jewish law.” images Can you imagine that some Jews barbarously object to pain medication by the physician; but can you imagine 4 needles with anaesthetic injected into your genitals isn’t painless?  Also, coating the babe’s lips in wine is no justification for this inhuman act.  I feel guilty and angry at myself for allowing the coercion to take place over 21 years ago.  I was a shut down, needy, woman who was silently mistaken for wanting to be a dutiful tribal member. My daughter had a very civilized baby naming ceremony.  We had chocolate cake, we wrote poems in her honour.  It was a ceremony orchestrated by women for the promise of a baby who’d one day become a woman.  My son deserved the same ease, and promise for grace and full orgastic potency; not a shock that caused him to writhe in mistrust and terror against straps that restricted his freedom of movement.  When we clear the event on many timelines, of the males we serve, their penis will break out with an angry rash.  No wonder! Some people will say that if you’re against circumcision, you’re anti-semitic.  Far from it.  In fact, this is a ridiculous notion.  I studied for almost 10 years to become a Jew, as a result, my children are Jewish, I’m married to a Jew and I identify with the persecution of any people who’ve suffered at the hands of any false authority.  I’ve been treated with nothing but grace and respect by members of my chosen Jewish tribe, however, in pursuit of higher education where I was taught to question everything, I question this.  Part of my own enlightenment and conscious maturity means that I reject many of the barbarous practices illustrated in the Torah. For example if 90% of African Americans chose to smoke and I was against smoking, it doesn’t mean that I’m against black people.  It means that I’m against the behaviour, not the race.  I am not remotely racist as a result. As one fellow enlightened Jew wrote, “Jews are smart. We are 1/3 of 1% of the population, yet we hold 33% of the Nobel prizes. This means that we are smart enough to understand that sexually mutilating our boys’ genitals is NOT acceptable.”  It is time to forgive ourselves and move on.  My hope is that any future grandsons of mine remain intact, breaking the cycle of pain and sexual compromise.  I will do my best to educate my daughter and my son.”

Recommended Reading:

CIRCUMCISION: THEN AND NOW By: James E. Peron, Ed.D. Questioning Circumcision, A Jewish Perspective By: Ronald Goldman, Ph.D. Covenant of Blood By: Lawrence A Hoffman


If You’re A More Visual Learner:


Panic Disorders and How They Relate To Reich’s Orgasm Function; An Intimate Tale


I recall, once, about 20 years ago a sensation at the bottom of my spine.  What started as a generalized ill ease at my core, suddenly burst forth into what felt like a black cloak over my head trying to suffocate me.  I couldn’t breath, my eyes springing wide in terror.  I watched myself flail in horror as my heart thumped wildly in my chest, my mouth went dry and I sputtered and wheezed clinging to what felt were my last breaths.  In that moment I just knew that I was going to die.

As my pores poured forth a clammy, rank sweat, I smelled the beguiling essence of death on my skin.  I anxiously perceived that this was the end and my headstone flashed before my eyes, folks dressed in black appeared to be mourning my departure and a very insignificant obituary appeared in the back of the Sunday paper.  It was all there like a movie playing sequentially before my dread-filled eyes.

When I felt the black shroud threaten to close my wind pipe forever, I felt my body (and finally my mind) simply surrender.  It was a like the apex of the crescendo of terror finally peaked and I felt a far off floating feeling come to retrieve my beleaguered soul.  Was I swooning like an 18th century Jane Austen character?  As I crumbled to the ground, my knees hitting the tarmac of my apathy, I just let go.  A beacon of calm over took me and I let go to my inevitable demise as I hit the floor.  My funeral scene went black.

As my consciousness slowly re-booted, I could sense muzzy thoughts trickling back in.  While still prone on the floor, I felt that there was no more effecting my broken will required here, no need for all those lists that defined a hobbled success for me as a unfulfilled slave in a system that required my compliance.  In that moment, I realized that I’d become a doormat, a lackey in life’s machine of work, cooking for my husband, paying taxes and raising thankless kids.  As a result, I realized deep down, I was knee-bumping (literally) terrified that this was all there was to my fractured life.

It was a moment that I will never forget.  If I’d been a follower of Freud, and the descendants of his psychoanalytic society, he might say that I’d faced the death instinct with a certain aplomb and adroitness. Certainly, intellectually, it was clear that I’d hit up against the crux of my mortality. Any Psychotherapist with ink in his pen and a prescription pad would likely look at drugs to suppress this trip down the pipe of terror.  Some anti- this or anti-that to thwart my clearly “chemically” imbalanced brain.  Most patients of this model are happy if you just suppress and thwart their capacity to repeat this obvious “disorder” from gaining any patterned traction again.

However, I’m not a typical woman of the Freudian camp.  If you simply shut down the predisposition for me to know the gnarly essence of myself, you short circuit the potential for empowerment.  I wanted to own the reigns in my life, not be hobbled on the illusion of any drug.  It is still my modus operandi.  I’m no seemingly play now, pay later kind of gal.  I’m wired  to know the etiological roots of my suffering; to suss out the cause and predisposition for my episodes of panic wrought with asphyxiation.  Why was I being smothered? 1

When I began to study at the Hahnemann College for Heilkunst, I learned that Wilhelm Reich, once a favoured student of Freud’s, would cite that it was not death that I was actually instinctually scared of; it was life!  My organism had never learned how to live, out of grace, pleasure and the orgasm function.  If you want to re-read my panic attack story above, again, as if you’re reading a bit of erotica, you’ll see that if I was properly threaded, the function of the orgasm (big luscious expression of health and life) would actually follow the same biological path; tension, charge, discharge and then relaxation or realization.  Panic attacks are a severe distortion into fight/flight of the biological norm for genital primacy and then true orgastic potency.  If examined closely, in this vein, you’ll see that the gesture is in fact similar.

Most folks don’t even know that this biological function exists due to the fact that, just like I was, their stuck in genital primacy having clitoral climaxes or penile ejaculations which is really just an appetizer.  My former Mentor, Steven Decker would cite that a climax is really just  a “genital sneeze” isolated to the genitals necessary to training for the whole bodily event for the earth to move, the “grand mal seizure” version of true orgastic potency.  My neurotic intellect producing the panic attacks would need to undergo a re-training to discharge the fear and terror trapped below my armouring through the orgasm function; through pleasure, not pain. This was a serious upgrade from talk therapy and prescriptions. 2

Just as a child needs their fever function to help train them up biologically to their immune function for when something serious comes along, adults who’re not properly strung through their healthy sexual functioning will suffer panic attacks and disorders of this nature as an attempt to discharge fear and terror.  If not properly plumbed, the thwarted content will hit the armouring that causes the loop for panic to gain traction and momentum until the damn breaks causing symptoms like heart palpitations, sweaty palms,  irrational thoughts and suffocation.  The thwarted sexual expression is an attempt at the biological release of the damned up content below decks in your subconscious (nether man) at the core of your being clanging against your armouring and beliefs.  The secret mantra will be, “I can’t let go, I can’t let go, I can’t let go.”

The essence that animates you just sneers out of tough love with the opposite gesture, “Do you want to bet?” And suddenly your biological damned up mechanism trips the lights fantastic and you’re suddenly careening wilding up the side of the panic roller coaster to the trippy peak with lips mouthing unspoken terrors with lips turning blue as you fall to your knees in the ultimate gesture of supplication.  It is this hobbled curtsy of genuine genuflection in your swoon that is also attributed to the capacity for a healthy orgasm function.  3

Reich wrote, in his book, “The Function Of The Orgasm; Sex-economic Problems of Biological Energy,” that, “I came to consider the instinct as nothing more than the “motor aspect of pleasure.”” When I first fell upon these words, I felt something transcendent take root in my thoughts with regards to my own panic attacks.  Could it be that the answer to my issues did not have to have the temporary band-aid of yet another round of talk therapy and a prescription for drugs?  Could it be that by retraining my system from suffering to pleasure, I could release the pent up suffocative content at my core?  Did I feel I deserved to live this way?  That, right there, turned out to be the bigger question in my de-armouring process. 4


I began to learn that talk therapy only has the capacity to access content post-cognition.  This means that you have to have the recall to speak about your history to a point of memory to leverage the harboured dormant content.  What is your armouring took place between birth and age 3 or 4.  Did that mean you were biologically and psychologically screwed?  What if there was another way to get at that content where I didn’t have to engage in yet more years of verbiage with therapists mostly sicker than I was as I’d spent years in therapy, partially paid for by the State, to no avail and was poorer on many levels for it.

At the onset of 1924, Reich published a series of papers on the idea of “orgastic potency,” and the capacity to release blocked emotions from the musculature, losing oneself uninhibited to the orgasm.  This was the basic idea that Freud had come to call Reich’s “hobby horse,” or in German, “Steckenpferd.”  Reich had argued that psychic health and the ability to love fully, oneself and others, depended on the capacity for the full discharge of the libido, or true orgastic potency, “Sexual release in the sex act must correspond to the excitement which leads up to it. It is not just to fuck … not the embrace in itself, not the intercourse. It is the real emotional experience of the loss of your ego, of your whole spiritual self.” 5

In that moment, I was dumbfounded, this was the answer that I sought.  As I delved further into Reich’s other books, on cancer (also part of my former package of suffering, see footnote 1) and character analysis, I realized how and why the psychoanalytic community at the time became limited to talk therapy and prescriptions and why I chose to pursue a full out cure to my panic disorder and the myriad of my other sufferings I’d engendered over my lifetime.  I have the system of Heilkunst, and it’s predecessors like Reich, to bow down to now in genuine gratitude and healthy supplication.  As a result, I haven’t had a panic attack in over 20 years.


1  For more on this, “The Path To Cure; The Whole Art of Healing,”Arcanum Acres Publishing, McQuinn, Allyson, 2004 found in Amazon or for the latest 2015 audio podcast

2 For more on Wilhelm Reich and full orgastic potency , “Unfolding The Essential Self; From Rage To Orgastic Potency,” Arcanum Acres Publishing, McQuinn, Allyson, 2010

3 For more on the function of childhood fever and how to address it at home go to, “Natural Home Pharmacy For Children; How to Use Practical Tips, Homeopathic Remedies, Flower Essences, and Essential Oils for Everything from Fever to Tummy Aches,”  McQuinn, Allyson, Arcanum Acres Publishing, 2014 or this blog article by Jeff Korentayer:

4 “The Function Of The Orgasm; Sex-economic Problems of Biological Energy,” Orgone Institute Press (copyright Mary Boyd Higgens as Trustee),  Reich, Wilhelm, 1968

5 Ibid.

“The Physician Who Can Cure One Disease By Knowledge …”










Please be warned of over-use of exclamation marks below … written by an enthusiastic Heilkünstler in touch with her inner 4 beat cycle!


The purely empirical mind has a tough time with this one. Our Jeff Korentayer, fellow Heilkünstler, describes some days as having gone through, “hand-to-hand combat with the intellect.”

The reason for this is because the intellect sees diseases all broken up into silos. This is the way the Allopathic system is designed with all of its different departments. The bone doctor, the heart doctor, the feelings doctor, the plumbing doctor, the skin doctor, the genital doctor, the bum doctor, etc.  This is anti-wholistic!  You’re not a car made up with disparate parts! Allopathy fits in with the same anti-pathic approached used with their anti-biotics (literally against life) and anti-histamines, anti-depressants and anti-inflammatories.  It is suppressive, or palliative at best; never a wholistic cure. You see it right?!

Think about it, you’re not broken up into a bunch of fragments are you? No, you’re a whole; a sum of all their parts!  Therefore, logically, if teeth and bone are part of the same physiological phenomenon, why then wouldn’t the Dentist, Osteopath, Podiatrist and Orthopaedist all confer together to address the underlying cause of your ills? The cause WILL inevitably be the same!  Makes sense right?!

You are a whole being, why then would you break yourself up into pieces to qualify for an anti-pathic system? Alternatives do precisely the same thing. Steven Decker, Romantic Science Scholar and translator of Dr. Hahnemann’s Organon,  calls the spectrum of alternative therapies, “Allopathy dressed up in chicken feathers!”

Patients will think it most evolved and great that they’ve converted their thinking by seeing the Chiropractor, Psychotherapist, Naturopath and Nutritionist. However, their silo thinking is just being applied using the same empirical gesture.

By using the same reasoning, rationalizing that all is well because it is natural and can’t cause harm is faulty at its underlying roots too. Cure is not obtained using the same anti-pathic reasoning for healative modalities. If your teeth and bones are still crumbling, the root cause has not been eradicated on sound, lawful, natural principles no matter how many natural therapies you apply.  We see this ALL the time!

Once you get it, it just makes rational sense. Right? Then what system of medicine offers the art and science for curing chronic disease based on this reasoning? Heilkunst literally means, the art and science (‘kunst’ in German) of wholing (‘heiling’ in German). So if you have tooth caries (cavities) AND scoliosis, they’re absolutely related. There is one underlying cause and there is one curative homeopathic remedy for it!

Don’t you deserve to know the underlying cause that is precipitating that pathic expression in your whole personhood and then have it treated outright with the single remedy that will annihilate the root cause (tonic disease)?!!! That’s what I thought. It makes sense right? No need to fragment or sacrifice yourself for either allopathy or alternative approaches as Dr. Tilden stated,” The Physician who can cure one disease by a knowledge of its principles may by its same means cure all the diseases of the human body; for their causes are the same.”

Now think of all those cadavers those medical students are still cutting up and sticking into jars of formaldehyde and ask me if you resemble remotely what is lying under their scalpel on that cold metal table?! This is the fundamental approach to teaching medicine. Are you dead? Nope?! Right, I didn’t think so. So why do folks line the office waiting rooms to get into see an officer whose study is based on dead science and cadavers? No, seriously I just want to know.

The right jurisdiction for allopathy is the emergency room, however, when you prescribe the same approach to chronic disease, it becomes a toxic fiasco. Ask a mother who’s child was poisoned by chemotherapy (true story) that has less than 3% efficacy and I will tell you that there was no respect for the whole living principle of that human being. It costs the parent between $350,000 and $1.2 million, though, paid to Big Pharma for that child to be sadly poisoned to death.

Also, don’t get me started on how many hours the Allopath has in the study of nutrition. When I graduated in 2004 from the Hahnemann College for Heilkunst, it was less than 4 hours. 4 measly hours!  The underpinnings of your health in that paradigm is a prescriptive debauchery.

You are a living, breathing miraculous being! Did you know that physics can’t even explain how you’re able to stand erect without falling over? Did you know that you’re being breathed? Try to stop! Did you know that the fact that you think and form speech and reason at all is a culmination of the most mind-blowing epistemological phenomenon imaginable? The fact that you can observe your own self-thinking blows the windows AND doors wide open on your whole human being-ness.  You’re a whole miracle!  You deserve to be treated as one.

Rant ends here!

Wisdom Of Sophia

The truth is that curing disease may be likened somewhat to watching an Olympic athlete ride a horse in a Dressage competition. To the audience, it can look a bit like the horse and rider have temporarily converged into one being, so that the horse just becomes an extension of the rider almost like a ballerina with four hairy legs underneath. You may marvel at the subtle signals yielding such blended movements that you can’t tell that the turn of the rider’s head told 1,200 hundred pounds of pure beastly muscle to change the direction that he’s going in. It takes years of training in the most subtle of bodily mechanics that most of us have no clue that all of this consciousness is going on in the rider.

This is the same analogy for Heilkunst Medicine. While you may see us taking notes and talking about the genetic miasm, for example, that is at the root of your son’s allergies and then dispensing a dropper bottle to cure his ills, a lot has occurred behind the scenes for us to effectively do this. In fact, about 5,000 years of research has gone into discerning the subtle nature and nuances of the philosophy of true observational science, the history of medicine, including the Bible (the story behind why disease can be cured by nature), even Shakespeare (depiction why Sophia was buried and marginalized), about 3,000 lectures by Rudolf Steiner (Anthroposophy), Wilhelm Reich (Character Analysis and The Cancer Biopathy), Dr. Samuel Hahnemann (The Organon of the Medical Art) and enough secondary literature to collapse the Titanic before even leaving port. All this to say, we literally love the Philo-Sophia behind making you well.

It was the ancient Greek, Hippocrates, who initially said things such as “First, Cause No Harm!” and also that you must base a prescription on natural law in order to cure a disease. There were, however, more subtle elements to medicine than just these key maxims. Back at this time in the evolution of thought around 400 B.C., “thinking” was considered a true participation of nature as a living phenomenon. He was the first to introduce that diseases are a natural phenomenon coming out of the human, as opposed to external superstition or the belief that the Gods made men sick through external means. Due to the “Fall of Sophia,” we kind of lost this more “feminine” capacity to think and diagnose (literally from the Greek meaning “through knowing”) in the right way in terms of the phenomenon occurring in the human organism in relationship to the symptoms.

So, going back to the example of your son suffering allergies–while you’re thinking that you just want your babe to be rid of his runny nose, watery eyes, sneezing, and wet croupy cough in the springtime, we’re wondering about where the event was on his timeline when his natural response to an event occurred that incited his anger but was smothered. We’re also thinking about your character and what kind of environment your son lives in, what his grandparents suffered from and why he would have chosen the genetic miasm Medhorrinum to challenge and impinge upon his life force in the first place.

If your son were taken to the allopathic doctor, they’d need him to be labelled first from the outside in. On this basis, that label then enables the Physician to use the external point-and-shoot protocols based on Big Pharma’s chemical toolbox. Typically, once the drug is prescribed, you realize that nothing is solved because you have to continue to use that drug indefinitely to manage the situation from the outside-in. Nothing internally in your son would have changed. In fact, you now have two diseases running amok. The original disease and now the iatrogenic disease caused by the drug. This limited way of thinking about disease also means that they have no clue how to solve the cancer matrix or at the very least, the common cold. Also, if I wore the same limited thinking cap as a typical alternative healer and you brought your allergy-suffering son to see me, I’d open my Materia Medica, take a best educated guess at what you’re describing and make up some “point-and-shoot” remedies to try to get the job done. If this were my approach, I’d get no better than 5-15% efficacy in the resolution of his ills. Not a very good outcome for either of us.

At this juncture in evolution, we are endowed with the task to rescue poor Sophia from the muck and mire of the allopathic materialists. Their one-sided empirical thinking is a linear, mechanistic, and logical crapshoot. It is nothing but a cold, high-pitched scream to us etheric thinkers. The intellect just strips natural feminine gestural thinking, plugging the internal fount of her inspiration, intuition, and imagination. This wisdom was left bereft, marginalized, and negated burning on smoldering stakes. I think of all the compromised gnostic pearls having been lost in salty seas while man’s essence was being reduced to robotic surplus in the false authoritarian diatribe, a symptom of 5,00 years of patriarchy.

Never in our practices have we seen more neurotic and psychotic behaviors due to the intellect’s limited ability to just compare and compartmentalize. It is like a very cancerous rat on a squeaky wheel, never realizing its desired cheese. Thankfully, Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe and Rudolf Steiner came along in the nick of time, teaching us about how we get to wholly participate, romantically, with the highest planes of noetic ideation married with our essential selves. This participatory fructification enables us to use all of our God-given faculties, including our inspiration, intuition, and imagination to source out the very essence of a true knowing. Until now, it’s been like listening to the crushing of hand-painted Royal Doulton china tea cups under the elephant’s intellectual feet. Now is the first opportunity for Sophia, as the bearer of true wisdom, to finally to get to play in the sandbox of evolution as part of the integral holographic whole. The mechanists call it quantum physics.

You may ask, ‘why now?’ Well, if you think about it, diseases of a biological nature like scarlet fever, cholera, even SARS aren’t prevalent anymore. Microbiological diseases were there to challenge the incarnation of the physical and etheric bodies. In this present epoch, we are entering the age of desire married to wisdom, so to speak, and “autism” is a symptom of “wrong thinking” devoid of true knowledge. We all suffer this condition to varying degrees and if you think about it with a Sophia-imbued imagination, you’ll realize that autism is a condition where the sense of the individual self has not successfully incarnated or downloaded into the the human organism. He’s mostly devoid of a natural in-spirit-ation! It is a symptom of materialism, an outside-in approach to moral, high-pitched, cold thinking. If you marginalize wisdom long enough, our mothers forget how to pass it on to their offspring, even while in utero. Neurotic, intellectualized mothers make autistic kids. I know, because I was one and my son Jordan proved a testament to this phenomenological nightmare. In addition, those diagnosing and treating it suffer a blatant lack of phenomenological wisdom due to their own autistic limitations. This is why most Empirical Physicians have no clue what to do about it, either, because it does not qualify for their usual outside-in approach for drugs. What Physician comes home from the clinic citing, “Yup I effectively treat diseases of the mind as a result of freeing sophia from the clutches of the hobbled intellect?” It is time to turn this all around.

At this epoch in our time (without going into masses of research) is when we get to take the knowledge from the Greeks (true participative consciousness), The Mystery of Golgotha (the crucifiction symbolizes the advent of the Christ-impulse co-mingling with the wisdom of his blood enabling the natural world to become curative), the myths of Isis and Osiris (his body is scattered, buried in intellectual pieces with no hope of making him whole until Isis used her wisdom to restore his essence). In Goethe’s 1792 essay, The experiment as mediator between subject and object his most original “Philosophy Of Science” was revealed. The essay underscores his experiential standpoint as being, “The human being himself, to the extent that he makes sound use of his senses, is the most exact physical apparatus that can exist.” Rudolf Steiner’s The Philosophy Of Freedom is a testament to Goethe’s wisdom-soaked observation that also was seemingly derived from Hahnemann’s Organon of The Medical Art (an inside/out approach to natural medicine), and Wilhelm Reich’s The Cancer Biopathy and The Function Of The Orgasm (true participative analysis of character exacting a science of psyche and soma). Steven Decker and Rudi Verspoor, our mentors, started threading them all together over the last couple of decades. The greatest labor of love imaginable!

We have felt this yoke of philia, or romantic love, to invite Sophia back into our midst in a science of true participative consciousness where the feminine wisdom married to masculine, Christ-imbued will has center stage. This will rescue her from a mostly negated, allopathic, marginalized, patriarchal suicide mission where she has not felt invited, wholly valued or massaged … well, since the dawn of time. In fact, Steiner talks about how well hidden she’s been from all view and that finding her essence will take very special eyes to see. Also, she’s been well concealed since she fell out of the “receiving blanket” well before the dawn of time when there was nothing but two oscillating energies called mother/father God, well before Genesis and the earth’s firmament appeared.

As Rudolf Steiner would say, we are at the epoch of our time when the astral, desire function, or our “airy body” is just starting to be threaded into our physical mineral body and our etheric plant body having been more developed at early times. Now, this is also true about our human history which is just the outer ambient phenomenon of our inner human milieux. Now it is time to get our “jiggy on” with participative nature within our very own skin, having complete faith in our capacity to truly know (like the gnostics) using our inspiration, imagination and intuition. It is kind of a modern version of “girls rule” … however, the guys win too if they have the health to wholly apprend the deep value of being able to “see” phenomenologically from the inside of our healthy essential selves. It is the quintessence of foreplay!

It is a bit like when we’re first in the throes of confirming your homeopathic constitution at your initial consultation. When we begin to apprehend the phenomenon, affirming how you think, what you love to eat, if you have a best friend, or many, if you prefer more time alone, or with a gaggle of friends, if you need months to research the buying of a new car versus spontaneously buying it because of its paint color, or if you haven’t had a new friend in your life for 30 years because change is difficult for you and loyalty and trust are even bigger. We had one patient accuse us of using “magic arts” to assess her constitution a few years back. We all want to be “known” to ourselves and others. Truly recognized for who we are, held by knowledge, wisdom and grace. It is the sexiest gesture in nature.

Perhaps I can help illustrate the feeling of all of this through a poem that I wrote recently for my new book, Romancing Sophia; A Book of Poetic Impressions For The Feminine Heart.

Sunday Communion

Where your neck meets your shoulder in a curve

of smoothness so soft you’d think it was other-worldly

I love to graze my lips and face into its fawn perfection

smelling of soap and the movements of your mind-scapes

as I run my thumbs gently down your forearms I feel us

harkening back to our sweet romantic desire chamber

Encouraging us back over the divide from our week of

fulfilled accomplishments letting go of the pedals

easing the tension of your life’s work into the realm of

ease and grace, our eyes speak of consummate communion

lovingly poised on the edge of your sweet sided escarpment

of bare grace ridging your belly of plush hopes and dreams

I make my way around the playground of your sweet manhood

with gentle fervor, careful not to touch the ache in your eyes

Lit with desire, I feel your breath harken and your pulse quicken

like you’re already engulfed in me, with strength waiting patiently

until I permit you all of the wonders of my inner sanctum

where pleromic priests come to pray their Christ essence

at the altar of a knowing so sweet and sacred that I wonder

at the source of its majesty and unuttered source of glory

in the vault of grace, awe and wisdom we synchronize our

pression into fructified gnosis in the care of our melting lips

losing the thread of all thought as we dance the lemniscate of

eternity for the grace-filled chalice of hope, faith and love

to the brim we hold the charge while spilling off any excess

fear, grief and anger to true fruition and equanimity of spirit

as the borders blur, conjointe in the consciousness of our blood

inspired by the very breath of God, having tripped off all sensation

a full coalescence where there are no words, just my “I” blended

with yours in a fusion of the pleromic nous and noetic ideation

We’re the cognitive rumination of the reverberating creation

the mother father essence of God’s sole desire to know himself

© Allyson McQuinn, 2013



Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe’s “Philosophy of Science” Excerpt:

Rudolf Steiner’s “Philosophy of Freedom”:

Dr. Samual Hahnemann’s “Organon Of The Medical Art”, annotated by Wenda Brewster O’Reilly and translated by Steven Decker:

Dr. Willhelm Reich’s “The Function Of The Orgasm” and “The Cancer Biopathy:”

“The Nag Hammadi Scriptures” edited by Marvin Meyer, with Wolf-Peter Funk, Paul-Hubert Poirier, James M. Robinson with Introduction by Elaine H. Pagels:

Rudolf Steiner’s “Isis, Mary and Sophia, Her Mission and Ours” edited and introduced by Christopher Bamford:

“The Gospel of Mary Magdalene,” with Commentary by Jean-Yves Leloup and Foreward by Jacob Needleman:

“The Resurrection Of Mary Magdalene, Legends, Apocrypha, And The Christian Testament,” by Jane Schaberg:

Romancing Sophia; A Book of Poetic Impressions For The Feminine Heart, 2013 Copyright © Allyson McQuinn (will be published by Arcanum Acres Publishing this year)

Stop The Glorification Of Busy (or The Business of Being Busy)

Last week, I innocently posted a little affirmation on our Arcanum Facebook Page that stated, “Stop The Glorification of Busy!”  It was by far, the biggest “LIKE” item for the whole week, and I like to think that I write some pretty cool, innovative stuff.  As I was preparing to explore this topic more fully, I went first to the Internet to see what others had written on the topic.  I found a 20-something young Southern Belle trying to sort out her busy life while living in Vegas with her boyfriend in the military, a very busy “housewife” (her term) on the run from one scheduled item to another like washing the car after picking up the garbage left behind by the garbage collector (she didn’t mention any kids), and a photographer shooting a pre-wedding collection with a recently engaged couple.  Needless to say the fodder for my blog article was a trifle scanty at best.

After giving up on the Internet (rarely happens, but there you have it!) I went to my second richest hub of information, the mecca of opinions, riddled and rife with strong statements, my teenage kids.  So at dinner this evening, I asked them, “Why do folks keep themselves so busy?”  As they pondered over their rice, steak and stir-fried Asian style vegetables, I waited for them to speak.  The first thing they said made a lot of sense to me, “Well, Mom, the term busy usually means someone is doing something they’d rather not be doing.”  I pondered this for a moment, also chewing, “Ok, then, if that’s true how do folks term it when they’re engaged with what they love?”   Again, they sat thinking, “When someone loves what they’re doing, they name it.”  My daughter pipes in, “Like I don’t ever say that I’m busy riding.  I may say I’m busy mucking out stalls, but I’d never say that I’m busy riding.  I LOVE riding!”

We all thought about this for a minute when my son offered, “Like you, Mom.  You never say that you’re busy writing … ever.  But you’ll often be busy with stuff you’ve got to do related to business like having to go get office supplies, stuff like that.”  I thought about this and knew he was right.  Then I asked them, “Do you ever find that people will say they are busy when they are not?”  Again, they took a moment to think about it coming up with the following, “People will say they’re too busy when you’re not their priority.”  There you have it.

About 10 years ago, when I was still living on our farm just outside Ottawa, I became so enraged with myself for being so stupidly busy with stuff that I didn’t want to do, I took my lists out to the bonfire one night and burnt them all, vowing never to write a to-do list again.  I’ve kept that promise.  Anything that I do write down is totally based on love, not obligation.  It is interesting to me that the cancer state of mind will operate more out of doing, than being, which is exactly what I was doing.

At the time my husband, and business partner, asked me how I was going to run a business or household/farm with him without any lists.  I remember saying that I didn’t know, but that I was going to trust my gut more that I’d find time to engage with activities that more spoke to my overarching goals and trust that the niggly day to day stuff would get done … somehow.  This is precisely what happened.  I became the Queen of delegation.  Now, I can hear you laughing thinking that I got rid of the stuff I hated doing by pawning it off onto others, however, this isn’t true.

While I did hire someone to clean my house weekly and my business supplies are now delivered by someone who seems to like bringing me my paperclips and file folders,  I also changed the way that I engaged with my work.  For example, if I’ve been writing, or serving clients for long stretches of time, I’m often ready to clean out a cupboard or muck out a stall at the end of the week.  I will only engage with said activities if they’re accompanied by music, for example, or I can find a fun Tom Sawyer-ish way of executing the project that may involve playing with others where I agree to help them with something they want to play with later.  But there are no lists and no feeling of slavery, ever.

It also may be useful to know that I don’t have television (going on for 20 years now) and that I live a very simplified life with few, if no social obligations.  Actually very few folks like to hang with me, other than fellow Heilkünstlers, as I only love to be engaged with what drives me.  This primarily includes really intense, full on, meaty relationships where we discuss the protracted disease states of syphilis or gonorrhea, homeopathic vs. homotonic, and the reasons why my autistic patient resolved his suffering.  I figure if I’m in session with patients all week unearthing the core elements that make them tick, why in God’s name do I want to be engaged in meaningless babble?  Seriously.  I’d much rather have meaningful explorations with my kids or my husband.

I talk about this at length in my second book, “Unfolding The Essential Self; From Rage To Orgastic Potency” where I elucidate more of Wilhelm Reich’s ideas (Medical Orgonomy, Function of the Orgasm, Cancer Biopathy) with regards to  defining a model of health that limits more our exposure to secondary drives and promoting more our love function through primary drives.  Reich states, “… every natural, social, or libidinous impulse that wants to spring into action from the biologic core has to pass through the layer of secondary perverse drives and it is thereby distorted.”* If we make skewed choices out of our armored secondary drives, it can look like the behaviors of a shopaholic, chronic t.v. show watcher, or even a wellness guru follower when most of the impetus for pleasure comes from external sources based on what some folks term ‘the law of attraction’.

*Source: Mass Psychology of Fascism, Dr. Wilhelm Reich, September 1933.

The law of resonance in pursuit of one’s primary drives has a much longer-term value for the individual’s higher self on the levels of his/her physical, emotional and spiritual fulfillment as Dr. Samuel Hahnemann (the founder of Heilkunst principles) wrote about in his Organon der Heilkunst.  Here is his definition of Health from Aphorism 9 as per the 1996 translation by O’Reilly/Decker:

“In the healthy human state, the spirit-like force (autocracy), that enlivens the material organism as dynamis, governs without restriction and keeps all parts of the organism in admirable, harmonious, vital operation as regards both feelings and functions, so that our indwelling rational spirit can avail itself of this living healthy instrument for the higher purposes of our existence.”*

Source:  The Organon Of the Medical Art,  Wenda Brewster O’Reilly (Steven Decker translation), 1996.

This means that we follow our “indwelling rational spirit” and that we’re rarely governed by outside forces exacting its obligations like a cancerous tax on our our healthy sense of our autocratic self.   The truth is that those folks who extricate themselves from external dictates like family, friends, state, education, medical and government forces will very rarely show up in our offices.  They will rarely exhibit symptoms.

Rudolf Steiner defines this innate healthy aspect of ourselves as the healthy ego, while our Mentor Steven Decker terms it even more aptly as the ontic (see: organization.  This, in essence, is the aspect of ourselves that is wholly conscious of its own self in epistemological terms.  Without getting into a whole Socratic or Platonic entanglement, it is simply the knowledge that I can know myself!  This God-given ontic body, if you will, is also described as our warmth organism because it exudes a compassion, love and enthusiasm for its own beingness … never doingness.  It discerns between the following, making free choices based on its higher love function or consciously setting goals in which it feels fit to create out of its own generative capacity strictly from its autonomous, sovereign self.  It has a juicy discernment function, peeling away secondary drives refusing engagement, based on a deep inner knowing, a deep abiding trust and a faith in one’s own divine essence.

 If you just take a cursory glance at the following terms, for example, which ones leave you cold and which ones contain life and heat for you?

Secondary drives vs. Primary drives
Cancer vs. Healthy Ontic
Obligation vs. Love Function
Intellect vs. Feeling Informed Mind
Just Answering to Expectations vs. Conscious Creation
Fiat Currency/Debt Based Economy vs. Freedom

This warmth organism, the ontic aspect of ourselves will typically incarnate only after the curing/healing of the physical (mineral body), etheric (plant body – creative/knowledge aspect), and astral (airy body – desire function).  That means that the other bodies are like a welcoming committee, operating mostly in concert, that the ontic can wholly trust in both the will (Christ-consciousness) and wisdom (Sophia-consciousness) of the other bodies before it can assume a full download.

All disease can explained on the basis of the unresolved traumatisms/shocks on one’s timeline in addition to the genetic miasms coming down one’s family line.  These form the basis of a skewed unfolding of your whole natural essential self.  Any one of the four bodies which develop at each of the following phases of life will produce a preponderance for neurotic/psychotic behaviors or the engagement in secondary vs. primary drives.

Physical Body (unfolds from Birth to 7)
Etheric Body (unfolds from 8-14)
Astral Body (unfolds from 15-21)
Ontic Body (unfolds from 22-28)

This is why we address your traumas in the reverse order in which you’ve assumed them.  Scientifically, we’re following the order of time to eradicate the schisms in your natural unfoldment so that you can reclaim the lost parts of yourself en route to Heilen (wholing/cure).  When the genetic miasms are removed, you pretty much are your essential, creative, autonomous, beauteous, healthy self, fulfilling your special purpose with enthusiasm, stopping the glorification of busy.  There is no more business of just being busy for the sake of stroking stuff off a list and this is just a misplaced climax (or sneeze).  While you get a little thrill, it is short-lived until the person is onto the next thing based on cursory attraction.

It is always better to strive for the orgasm (or grand mal seizure of pleasure) that involves the whole organism out of your primary drive, your nous (intuitive body mind … see:, and your love function.  You’re ordained to know this aspect of yourself, and there is no reason to ever settle for less.  So if you’re not meant to be a photographer grinding the mill of busy, or a housewife, or a Southern Belle in Vegas, it is important that you burn the lists and source the internal fount eternal.  In the end, it’s the only carry-on bag that you get to take with you.